Comments on: The part of postpartum depression that no one talks about http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sat, 20 Mar 2010 23:53:37 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Izzie http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-223171 Izzie Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:43:52 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-223171 Thank you for your honesty. I had my (only) child, a son with Asperger's Syndrome, at the ripe ol age of 35, which was old in 1994. I didn't know a damn thing about babies; I was good with animals, nurturing and caring for them so a baby? Why not? HA! Having suffered from undiagnosed depression prior to the pregnancy, the bottom of my world dropped out after my delivery. My baby didn't sleep, nursed all the time, so I got no sleep, had no short-term memory, was always freezing cold and crying and unable to even talk about what the heck was going on. I can totally relate to smothering, shaking my crying baby...it is awful and you feel like such a horrible person. You are supposed to unconditionally love this little being, but you are not YOU. Thank you for sharing - you make it safer for the rest of us to share too. Thank you for your honesty. I had my (only) child, a son with Asperger's Syndrome, at the ripe ol age of 35, which was old in 1994. I didn't know a damn thing about babies; I was good with animals, nurturing and caring for them so a baby? Why not? HA! Having suffered from undiagnosed depression prior to the pregnancy, the bottom of my world dropped out after my delivery. My baby didn't sleep, nursed all the time, so I got no sleep, had no short-term memory, was always freezing cold and crying and unable to even talk about what the heck was going on. I can totally relate to smothering, shaking my crying baby…it is awful and you feel like such a horrible person. You are supposed to unconditionally love this little being, but you are not YOU.
Thank you for sharing – you make it safer for the rest of us to share too.

]]> By: on getting out of bed « Tales of the Resistance http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-223161 on getting out of bed « Tales of the Resistance Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:01:26 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-223161 [...] I wrote that the moment when I was a freelance writer and a new mom and had post-partum depression but I knew I had to keep working so I had to get out of bed and write. [...] [...] I wrote that the moment when I was a freelance writer and a new mom and had post-partum depression but I knew I had to keep working so I had to get out of bed and write. [...]

]]> By: Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-222828 Annabel Candy, Get In the Hot Spot Sun, 07 Mar 2010 03:31:14 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-222828 I had post partum depression too and found I could totally relate to Adrea Yates. Once someone asked me if my baby was good and I said NO! There was a terrible awkward silence after that and I learned to always smile and say yes to that question. But that made me lonely because I was lying and pretending life was great when it sucked. I hated my life and never realised I was depressed. I just thought I was the world's worst mother. But then a counselor said I was depressed. I stopped working and took anti-depressants. That solved the problem. Being a mum is stressful, working is stressful, working and mothering is too stressful for new mothers. Working women are more at risk of postpartum depression than other mothers. Something has to give. Hope you're all better now. I think it's good to have been there. I know the signs now and take better care of myself. I never want to go back to that black place again. I had post partum depression too and found I could totally relate to Adrea Yates. Once someone asked me if my baby was good and I said NO! There was a terrible awkward silence after that and I learned to always smile and say yes to that question. But that made me lonely because I was lying and pretending life was great when it sucked.

I hated my life and never realised I was depressed. I just thought I was the world's worst mother. But then a counselor said I was depressed. I stopped working and took anti-depressants. That solved the problem. Being a mum is stressful, working is stressful, working and mothering is too stressful for new mothers. Working women are more at risk of postpartum depression than other mothers. Something has to give.

Hope you're all better now. I think it's good to have been there. I know the signs now and take better care of myself. I never want to go back to that black place again.

]]> By: emily http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-222462 emily Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:56:44 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-222462 I was a part-time nanny for a 3-month old baby whose mom was suffering from Post Partum depression before I arrived. I never understood before this post why she had hired me since she worked from home, and didn't fully understand why she was SO grateful to hand the baby over to me when I arrived each morning. This post really sheds some light on that. She was a GREAT mom, but was totally overwhelmed and depressed and scared to be alone with the kids (3 month old AND a 4 year old). Extra help with a baby is a luxury that not everyone can afford. But if you can afford it, do it. She told me later that having me there finally let her enjoy being a mom. I was a part-time nanny for a 3-month old baby whose mom was suffering from Post Partum depression before I arrived. I never understood before this post why she had hired me since she worked from home, and didn't fully understand why she was SO grateful to hand the baby over to me when I arrived each morning. This post really sheds some light on that. She was a GREAT mom, but was totally overwhelmed and depressed and scared to be alone with the kids (3 month old AND a 4 year old).
Extra help with a baby is a luxury that not everyone can afford. But if you can afford it, do it. She told me later that having me there finally let her enjoy being a mom.

]]> By: Lisa Earle McLeod http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-193668 Lisa Earle McLeod Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:07:55 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-193668 And men wonder why we get so angry when they walk past the laundry. thanks for the honesty, I conducted a three day seminar when my youngest was 4 weeks old, in between teaching an enthralled crowd of 50 how they could close more sales, I went into the ladies room and cried at every break. I'm 10 years older and wiser and I wish like hell I had cut myself more slack. If men had babies there would be mandatory paid maternity leave fo 1 year, even for people who are self-employed. Said the trying not to be bitter, I love my kids, and really do believe I chose this life woman. And men wonder why we get so angry when they walk past the laundry.

thanks for the honesty, I conducted a three day seminar when my youngest was 4 weeks old, in between teaching an enthralled crowd of 50 how they could close more sales, I went into the ladies room and cried at every break.

I'm 10 years older and wiser and I wish like hell I had cut myself more slack.

If men had babies there would be mandatory paid maternity leave fo 1 year, even for people who are self-employed.

Said the trying not to be bitter, I love my kids, and really do believe I chose this life woman.

]]> By: MM http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-183832 MM Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:59:16 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-183832 I realize this is a very old post, but I just had to comment. THANK YOU for addressing this so candidly. I've struggled with depression for most of my life. Genetic makeup and an abusive childhood. After years of infertility and pregnancy loss, it was just exacerbated. So I was prepared to have PPD with my son several years ago. While it was it really tough first three months, I can't say I had anything more than the baby blues. But pregnant with my second one, due in July, I'm very nervous. Life is just harder now. Compound the stress of a newborn, along with a toddler, along with a bad economy, along with a job that I hate...I'm really nervous how this PP experience will be this time around. While I can't necessarily PREVENT PPD, your beautiful candor, and the many heartfelt confessions in the comments section, has spurred me to "schedule" a conversation with my husband and his sweet mother (the one that helped me the most last time around). I want them to be prepared to keep an eye on me. I want them to support me in specific ways so that if I am to have more than just the baby blues this time, that they be prepared to help somehow. Obviously, details of what to expect and what to do are fuzzy at this point in the game, but I feel that it's a necessary prep point for this coming child. Thank you for inspiring me to do it now and not procrastinate. I realize this is a very old post, but I just had to comment.

THANK YOU for addressing this so candidly. I've struggled with depression for most of my life. Genetic makeup and an abusive childhood. After years of infertility and pregnancy loss, it was just exacerbated. So I was prepared to have PPD with my son several years ago. While it was it really tough first three months, I can't say I had anything more than the baby blues. But pregnant with my second one, due in July, I'm very nervous. Life is just harder now. Compound the stress of a newborn, along with a toddler, along with a bad economy, along with a job that I hate…I'm really nervous how this PP experience will be this time around.

While I can't necessarily PREVENT PPD, your beautiful candor, and the many heartfelt confessions in the comments section, has spurred me to "schedule" a conversation with my husband and his sweet mother (the one that helped me the most last time around). I want them to be prepared to keep an eye on me. I want them to support me in specific ways so that if I am to have more than just the baby blues this time, that they be prepared to help somehow. Obviously, details of what to expect and what to do are fuzzy at this point in the game, but I feel that it's a necessary prep point for this coming child. Thank you for inspiring me to do it now and not procrastinate.

]]> By: Karen Carswell http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-182724 Karen Carswell Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:55:58 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-182724 Penelope, I have started my own journey through blogging about my postpartum depression at http://amothersojourn.wordpress.com and I am so pleased to find that other woman have spoken out as well. Thank you for sharing! When you find time please tune into my blog, I would love to hear your thoughts. Karen Penelope,

I have started my own journey through blogging about my postpartum depression at http://amothersojourn.wordpress.com and I am so pleased to find that other woman have spoken out as well.

Thank you for sharing! When you find time please tune into my blog, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Karen

]]> By: RA http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-182363 RA Thu, 12 Mar 2009 04:14:37 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-182363 Thank you for your post. I'm also a working mother currently dealing with PPD. My baby is almost 11 months now and I've been dealing with PPD since he was almost 3 months old. It's been REALLY REALLY tough, trying to deal with the work/life balance. I went back to work for a month when my baby was 3 months old. I went down-hill after one month at work. My doctor ended up taking me off of work for 2 months because I was not functional. I returned part time for the next few months. I love working parttime. I just returned full-time recently, and it's been a real struggle dealing with the PPD and longer working days. Thank you for your post. I'm also a working mother currently dealing with PPD. My baby is almost 11 months now and I've been dealing with PPD since he was almost 3 months old. It's been REALLY REALLY tough, trying to deal with the work/life balance. I went back to work for a month when my baby was 3 months old. I went down-hill after one month at work. My doctor ended up taking me off of work for 2 months because I was not functional. I returned part time for the next few months. I love working parttime. I just returned full-time recently, and it's been a real struggle dealing with the PPD and longer working days.

]]> By: Kristal http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-181867 Kristal Thu, 05 Mar 2009 01:15:11 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-181867 Hello I am kristal, I just wanted to say Thank you for being so open and honest. I also suffer from PPD. How are you able to juggle all that and raise two babies? I can barely handle one. Hello I am kristal, I just wanted to say Thank you for being so open and honest. I also suffer from PPD. How are you able to juggle all that and raise two babies? I can barely handle one.

]]> By: Amy http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/comment-page-3/#comment-180701 Amy Sat, 07 Feb 2009 18:55:32 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/02/13/the-part-of-postpartum-depression-that-no-one-talks-about/#comment-180701 I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that someone out there can just lay it all out with such frankness. I would sometimes slip in such disparaging remarks about the baby when I had post-partum and received my own share of shocked glances. Mine is 3 1/2 and I love him deeply, but still am suffering some after-effects. I think that a lot of other women feel that way and had those very thoughts...but edit themselves with such success that they are deluded into believing that they never had those socially unacceptable thoughts. It perpetuates that whole "it's not real" thing, plus the whole "you are crazy" thing. How come MEN don't get it? I think you hit the nail on the head. Something's got to give, and it almost always is Mom. Giving her sanity. I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that someone out there can just lay it all out with such frankness. I would sometimes slip in such disparaging remarks about the baby when I had post-partum and received my own share of shocked glances. Mine is 3 1/2 and I love him deeply, but still am suffering some after-effects. I think that a lot of other women feel that way and had those very thoughts…but edit themselves with such success that they are deluded into believing that they never had those socially unacceptable thoughts. It perpetuates that whole "it's not real" thing, plus the whole "you are crazy" thing. How come MEN don't get it? I think you hit the nail on the head. Something's got to give, and it almost always is Mom. Giving her sanity.

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