Comments on: Positive psychology exhausts me: Requires so much self-discipline.

By: Tina

Tina — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 09:47:27 +0000

Your idea about the set-point for self-discipline has been demonstrated scientifically in a recent study.

I can dig it up for you if you'd like.

According to that research, your coach is right, and you can
increase your set-point, although they don't exactly call it that. By doing just what she suggests.

Cool! You're brilliant!

But you knew that.

By: Ms. Mama

Ms. Mama — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 21:22:08 +0000

Love this post.

I just read this and even though you wrote a long time ago, I am giving you quick feedback rather than waiting to do it later.

Love that you dissed someone in your post it might have made you unhappy but it made me happy!

Screw 8 am, put on your list to open email at 8.. then you've already accomplished something that you know you're goign to do. Which according to the research, according to you of course, having accomplished that one thing will snowball.

Basically it all comes back to knowing what you want, and be willing to take babysteps to get there.

We just took a big step to opening a restaurant and now have to backtrack and make some baby steps to get the annoying stuff done.

Thanks for writing.

By: Barbara Giorgio

Barbara Giorgio — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 00:23:40 +0000

Problem is…reality…it is just too hard for many people to do the thing they know is right but not the wherewithall to do it…after all, can we be any more saintly than St Paul who said as much about himself? I have seen people while away their later years waiting for death in gambling joints preferring the mind-numbing life of pokie machines than coming face to face with annihilation, meaninglessness, purposelessness, then blame it on the kids who don't love them, loneliness, pain whatever whatever…then I see all of use in the grip of addictions, you name it we the human sepecies has it…now animals are a far purer breed…they seem to live life with a great deal more ease … who wants to confront the existential burden of the responsibility of one's own life? OK so you might be happy to have the go lights out saying I did everything the right way, or my way, or I did my best, or I contributed to society ….so on and so on…but why aren't we just dying to die? Yet without the reason of subsistence or getting the next meal, the affluent countries have only one reason to exist – consume…and when they can't ….there's a recession, fear, greed, angst, crime etc etc. Can I die saying that in my 50 years of life, I have seen technology make us better human beings? Does it make me love you more than my pet or my bank balance? Do I really care about anything but the next high, the next moment of pleasure – which never seems to sate…Now you want positive psychology to tell us we can have happiness?

By: karma_rider

karma_rider — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:33:26 +0000

I figured out my "how of happiness" without any self-discipline. I decided laziness is a virtue. I've been happy ever since!

By: Ananya Roy

Ananya Roy — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:34:10 +0000

Excellent approach and thinking. I like it. Keep it up.

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 21:48:19 +0000

@ missC

While I believe wholeheartedness is the antidote to exhaustion, at this minute I need some sleep. Sorry if I am unclear.

Which experiments have you tried? I think some of them tempt one into doing things mechanically. They are tools you apply in a goal to explore the positive. The goal is important too.

I agree with you that our culture is pretty negative – the protestant ethic may have benefits but it is also dour. Happiness isn't automatic though. A negative thought far outweighs a positive thought. Roy Baumeister's work demonstrates that.

We have to work quite hard to stay in a space where we are working out how positive stuff works. Hence Penelope's post. But as I will be working hard at something, it may as well be this!

Let's compare notes. This stuff works for me and I am also a psychologist – conventionally trained – experiments, factor analysis, etc etc. So I know both sides.

Night, night (I'm this side of the pond!)

By: missC

missC — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:38:53 +0000

Happiness is our natural birthright. It is the way WE ARE underneath all our ideas of what we have been taught here in time & space. We have been badly taught. So in order to be happy, you have to remove the layers of worldly learning, and when you have uncovered every idea and belief: there is happiness, joy and love that never changes. It’s there already, buried. You, as a total masterpiece of perfection.

Posted by Lisa Natoli | February 16, 2008

What, no work, effort, character, moral fortitude required?

a) I don't think it's true
b) I think if it was true it would devalue any human achievement
c) I wouldn't want to live in a world where we were all naturally saints and everything was somebody/something else's fault. Sounds too close to UK plc as it is right now.

By: missC

missC — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:30:50 +0000

uh, I have tried it. that's why I didn't know what you were getting at. Cab you state your point more clearly?

By: Jo

Jo — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:28:05 +0000

@ missC

Some "positive thinking" is a little trite and more on the level of wishful thinking.

Positive psychology subsumes that and is positive thinking, if you try it. Exploring what works in an appreciative way.

Once you try it, you won't look back! You will wonder what space you used to inhabit.

Simply end your day thinking about what you accomplished and what you are grateful for and begin your day considering your purpose (not your to do list), and then buy me a beer! Oh damn, I swore off those. Buy someone a beer!

By: missC

missC — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:05:43 +0000

what objection? Positive thinking and positive psychology aren't the same thing: I assume that's what you mean? Try Martin Seligman (not that I'm a fan especially).