Comments on: Three specific ways to improve your social skills http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:26:03 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Social Skills Guide http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-264305 Social Skills Guide Wed, 09 Nov 2011 06:25:00 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-264305 Good feedback here Penelope!  I love the focus on specific, practical ideas. I'm currently in the process of writing a social skills guide of my own (www.improveyoursocialskills.com), and I'm trying hard to make sure that all of my advice is practical and very applicable. Your post is an inspiration to show that it can be done :) Good feedback here Penelope!  I love the focus on specific, practical ideas. I'm currently in the process of writing a social skills guide of my own (www.improveyoursocialskills.com), and I'm trying hard to make sure that all of my advice is practical and very applicable. Your post is an inspiration to show that it can be done :)

]]> By: John http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-261518 John Wed, 28 Sep 2011 16:12:00 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-261518 That’s absolutely smart of you learning how to improve your social skills through individuals that work in sales. These sales people deal with all types of personality everyday of their life and talking to as many clients as they can on their job really enhanced their social lives. I’ll take your 3 tips in mind for sure for they sound really fantastic. So being a good listener will help me a lot in improving my social skill, right? That’s
absolutely smart of you learning how to improve your social skills through
individuals that work in sales. These sales people deal with all types of
personality everyday of their life and talking to as many clients as they can
on their job really enhanced their social lives.

I’ll
take your 3 tips in mind for sure for they sound really fantastic.

So
being a good listener will help me a lot in improving my social skill, right?

]]> By: Guest http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-260812 Guest Thu, 22 Sep 2011 12:21:00 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-260812 Neurotypicals learn little detective tricks that are effective within society at large but which fail disastrously on individuals with ASD. Even worse, NTs are trapped by the emotional need to feel that the beliefs they've invested the most in are working out for them in every situation. People with AS often look away from the face while thinking of what to say, because the face is such a rich source of sensory information that it distracts us from the tedious work of putting a sentence together that NTs will find acceptable. NT social intuition leads them to interpret this as deceit, especially if they have had success spotting other NTs with deceitful intentions in the past. NT arrogance sometimes makes them unable to conceive of another reason why someone would look away from the face (in any direction) even if someone has tried to tell them. Reading this story made me angry at the salesman who convinced you you were thinking of a lie, whether or not you actually were. If you have AS, I feel like you were likely just unconsciously doing your coping micro-mechanism to stay afloat in conversations. This is something I struggle with a lot. How do you tell people that they'll misread you because of your pervasive developmental disorder? Even if they believed you (the arrogant ones will never admit their initial read was wrong), broadcasting your medical diagnosis seems even more tasteless than going around looking like you're thinking of a lie. What are we supposed to do? Anyone know? Neurotypicals learn little detective tricks that are effective within society at large but which fail disastrously on individuals with ASD. Even worse, NTs are trapped by the emotional need to feel that the beliefs they've invested the most in are working out for them in every situation.

People with AS often look away from the face while thinking of what to say, because the face is such a rich source of sensory information that it distracts us from the tedious work of putting a sentence together that NTs will find acceptable. NT social intuition leads them to interpret this as deceit, especially if they have had success spotting other NTs with deceitful intentions in the past. NT arrogance sometimes makes them unable to conceive of another reason why someone would look away from the face (in any direction) even if someone has tried to tell them. Reading this story made me angry at the salesman who convinced you you were thinking of a lie, whether or not you actually were. If you have AS, I feel like you were likely just unconsciously doing your coping micro-mechanism to stay afloat in conversations.
This is something I struggle with a lot. How do you tell people that they'll misread you because of your pervasive developmental disorder? Even if they believed you (the arrogant ones will never admit their initial read was wrong), broadcasting your medical diagnosis seems even more tasteless than going around looking like you're thinking of a lie. What are we supposed to do? Anyone know?

]]> By: Social Skills http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-254349 Social Skills Wed, 06 Jul 2011 20:43:56 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-254349 Social skills are in fact learned. People who great socializer who say otherwise, learned them along the way and don't have to take a direct approach at it. Excellent pointers Penelope! Social skills are in fact learned. People who great socializer who say otherwise, learned them along the way and don't have to take a direct approach at it. Excellent pointers Penelope!

]]> By: How to know if you’ll be good at sales « Plaedes's Blog http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-228153 How to know if you’ll be good at sales « Plaedes's Blog Mon, 24 May 2010 07:17:31 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-228153 [...] It’s clear to me that emotional intelligence is the most important skill for success in adult life. And the consummate career application of emotional intelligence is the sales department. So I’m fascinated by sales. [...] [...] It’s clear to me that emotional intelligence is the most important skill for success in adult life. And the consummate career application of emotional intelligence is the sales department. So I’m fascinated by sales. [...]

]]> By: CJ http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-214037 CJ Fri, 13 Nov 2009 07:27:34 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-214037 <blockquote cite="I have a bad habit of interrupting, which I am training myself out of. It's not a matter of not caring about what the other person is saying, although I know it can come across that way. It's more a case of getting excited by social stimulus and the conversation triggering lots of ideas."> Exactly! My late husband once likened me (when interrupting) to a shaken-up soft drink, where the rush of tiny bubbles (my words) just couldn't wait to overflow their container. In an exasperated (yet affectionate) way, he often referred to me as his "little fizzy bottle" every time I interrupted him.

Exactly! My late husband once likened me (when interrupting) to a shaken-up soft drink, where the rush of tiny bubbles (my words) just couldn't wait to overflow their container. In an exasperated (yet affectionate) way, he often referred to me as his "little fizzy bottle" every time I interrupted him.

]]> By: Heather Rose Russell http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-170376 Heather Rose Russell Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:07:41 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-170376 All these posts are about listening and interrupting. What about other social skills? What do you do, for example, about the kook who invites herself to your place for tea, then when you offer salmon sandwiches, pipes up and says, "Have you got Kraft Dinner?" Of course, it happened to be a Wednesday in Lent, so I baited her with the salmon/fish thing, and it worked, but that was just that one situation. All these posts are about listening and interrupting. What about other social skills? What do you do, for example, about the kook who invites herself to your place for tea, then when you offer salmon sandwiches, pipes up and says, "Have you got Kraft Dinner?" Of course, it happened to be a Wednesday in Lent, so I baited her with the salmon/fish thing, and it worked, but that was just that one situation.

]]> By: Laurie http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-148913 Laurie Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:24:33 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-148913 Great post with good information. Generally, I'm a good listener, but when I get excited about a topic, I have a tendency to interrupt. I'm becoming more aware of this bad habit and when I realize I've interrupted someone, I stop talking and say to the other person, "I'm sorry - I interrupted you. Please continue what you were saying." And they do. And I listen until they're finished. When they're done, they usually invite me to finish what I started when I interrupted them. Thanks for the posting - I look forward to more! Great post with good information. Generally, I'm a good listener, but when I get excited about a topic, I have a tendency to interrupt. I'm becoming more aware of this bad habit and when I realize I've interrupted someone, I stop talking and say to the other person, "I'm sorry – I interrupted you. Please continue what you were saying." And they do. And I listen until they're finished. When they're done, they usually invite me to finish what I started when I interrupted them.

Thanks for the posting – I look forward to more!

]]> By: Melba http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-138897 Melba Sun, 23 Mar 2008 23:57:00 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-138897 For years I was guilty of interrupting people, mostly finishing sentences for them or ‘stepping’ on last few words…until I decided to take a course in international etiquette. First, I realized how rude and disrespectful my behavior was. Second, I learnt that: • In American culture, there is no silence/pause after someone ends talking -the other person picks up right away. In addition, Americans, while listening, already think about their reply; one thinks that it doesn’t show, but it does surprisingly... Go and observe morning talk shows and see if it is true. • In contrast, Oriental culture revere silence at the end of someone’s paragraph – it is to give time to ‘digest’ received information for a brief moment. Same could be said for some European cultures, writing from my memory – probably German and Scandinavian. • Also – people who think of themselves as being higher ranking individuals (and bullies) often interrupt lower ranking ones; details on pg. 88 of the “First Impression, Best Impression” book. Hope my comments help in avoiding being dominated or being rude unintentionally. Cheers. For years I was guilty of interrupting people, mostly finishing sentences for them or ‘stepping’ on last few words…until I decided to take a course in international etiquette. First, I realized how rude and disrespectful my behavior was. Second, I learnt that:
• In American culture, there is no silence/pause after someone ends talking -the other person picks up right away. In addition, Americans, while listening, already think about their reply; one thinks that it doesn’t show, but it does surprisingly…
Go and observe morning talk shows and see if it is true.
• In contrast, Oriental culture revere silence at the end of someone’s paragraph – it is to give time to ‘digest’ received information for a brief moment. Same could be said for some European cultures, writing from my memory – probably German and Scandinavian.
• Also – people who think of themselves as being higher ranking individuals (and bullies) often interrupt lower ranking ones; details on pg. 88 of the “First Impression, Best Impression” book.
Hope my comments help in avoiding being dominated or being rude unintentionally. Cheers.

]]> By: Music Site http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/comment-page-1/#comment-134625 Music Site Sun, 27 Jan 2008 00:30:13 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134625 I used to interrupt people a lot when they were talking before until someday I found myself really look silly that I start to interrupt people and comment before even knowing the whole story, so after few embaressing situation I learned how not to do that and stopped it and now I am doing better and so thankful, I hate lies, this is a big obsession for me, I hate it so much, Regards. I used to interrupt people a lot when they were talking before until someday I found myself really look silly that I start to interrupt people and comment before even knowing the whole story, so after few embaressing situation I learned how not to do that and stopped it and now I am doing better and so thankful,

I hate lies, this is a big obsession for me, I hate it so much,

Regards.

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