Comments on: Three specific ways to improve your social skills http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:24:06 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Laurie http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-148913 Laurie Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:24:33 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-148913 Great post with good information. Generally, I'm a good listener, but when I get excited about a topic, I have a tendency to interrupt. I'm becoming more aware of this bad habit and when I realize I've interrupted someone, I stop talking and say to the other person, "I'm sorry - I interrupted you. Please continue what you were saying." And they do. And I listen until they're finished. When they're done, they usually invite me to finish what I started when I interrupted them. Thanks for the posting - I look forward to more! Great post with good information. Generally, I'm a good listener, but when I get excited about a topic, I have a tendency to interrupt. I'm becoming more aware of this bad habit and when I realize I've interrupted someone, I stop talking and say to the other person, "I'm sorry - I interrupted you. Please continue what you were saying." And they do. And I listen until they're finished. When they're done, they usually invite me to finish what I started when I interrupted them.

Thanks for the posting - I look forward to more!

]]> By: The hardest part of my job is that everyone lies about parenting » Brazen Careerist by Penelope Trunk http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-148687 The hardest part of my job is that everyone lies about parenting » Brazen Careerist by Penelope Trunk Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:03:30 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-148687 [...] in fact, it’s a totally offensive question. Here’s how I’m so sure: I tried it out on Mr. Sales Guy. And even though Mr. Sales Guy and I work the same number of hours, he said something to the effect [...] […] in fact, it's a totally offensive question. Here's how I’m so sure: I tried it out on Mr. Sales Guy. And even though Mr. Sales Guy and I work the same number of hours, he said something to the effect […]

]]> By: Melba http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-138897 Melba Sun, 23 Mar 2008 23:57:00 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-138897 For years I was guilty of interrupting people, mostly finishing sentences for them or ‘stepping’ on last few words…until I decided to take a course in international etiquette. First, I realized how rude and disrespectful my behavior was. Second, I learnt that: • In American culture, there is no silence/pause after someone ends talking -the other person picks up right away. In addition, Americans, while listening, already think about their reply; one thinks that it doesn’t show, but it does surprisingly... Go and observe morning talk shows and see if it is true. • In contrast, Oriental culture revere silence at the end of someone’s paragraph – it is to give time to ‘digest’ received information for a brief moment. Same could be said for some European cultures, writing from my memory – probably German and Scandinavian. • Also – people who think of themselves as being higher ranking individuals (and bullies) often interrupt lower ranking ones; details on pg. 88 of the “First Impression, Best Impression” book. Hope my comments help in avoiding being dominated or being rude unintentionally. Cheers. For years I was guilty of interrupting people, mostly finishing sentences for them or ‘stepping’ on last few words…until I decided to take a course in international etiquette. First, I realized how rude and disrespectful my behavior was. Second, I learnt that:
• In American culture, there is no silence/pause after someone ends talking -the other person picks up right away. In addition, Americans, while listening, already think about their reply; one thinks that it doesn’t show, but it does surprisingly…
Go and observe morning talk shows and see if it is true.
• In contrast, Oriental culture revere silence at the end of someone’s paragraph – it is to give time to ‘digest’ received information for a brief moment. Same could be said for some European cultures, writing from my memory – probably German and Scandinavian.
• Also – people who think of themselves as being higher ranking individuals (and bullies) often interrupt lower ranking ones; details on pg. 88 of the “First Impression, Best Impression” book.
Hope my comments help in avoiding being dominated or being rude unintentionally. Cheers.

]]> By: Music Site http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134625 Music Site Sun, 27 Jan 2008 00:30:13 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134625 I used to interrupt people a lot when they were talking before until someday I found myself really look silly that I start to interrupt people and comment before even knowing the whole story, so after few embaressing situation I learned how not to do that and stopped it and now I am doing better and so thankful, I hate lies, this is a big obsession for me, I hate it so much, Regards. I used to interrupt people a lot when they were talking before until someday I found myself really look silly that I start to interrupt people and comment before even knowing the whole story, so after few embaressing situation I learned how not to do that and stopped it and now I am doing better and so thankful,

I hate lies, this is a big obsession for me, I hate it so much,

Regards.

]]> By: Caitlin http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134613 Caitlin Sat, 26 Jan 2008 16:39:43 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134613 I came across this site (http://www.succeedsocially.com/) and thought it might be useful for people wanting more on how to improve social skills. I came across this site (http://www.succeedsocially.com/) and thought it might be useful for people wanting more on how to improve social skills.

]]> By: shoba http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134322 shoba Sun, 20 Jan 2008 16:53:39 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134322 I also learnt somethings in sales scenarios. One thing that I now practise after learning is also to interrupt but not to inject our view but to keep the flow of the talk going by asking more relevant questions when the talker is about to stop and the key is choosing the questions that would reveal more information from whom we are asking. During a formal sales meet it is ok to scribble down in a note all the information as we keep the talk going. It does help us also to listen and prepare what more we need to know that would give us a good bargain. Looking forward to see you talk in our country Penelope! I also learnt somethings in sales scenarios. One thing that I now practise after learning is also to interrupt but not to inject our view but to keep the flow of the talk going by asking more relevant questions when the talker is about to stop and the key is choosing the questions that would reveal more information from whom we are asking. During a formal sales meet it is ok to scribble down in a note all the information as we keep the talk going. It does help us also to listen and prepare what more we need to know that would give us a good bargain.

Looking forward to see you talk in our country Penelope!

]]> By: MariaMH http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134283 MariaMH Fri, 18 Jan 2008 18:51:13 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134283 I am someone who is a good listener but I also have realized that I am other side of the communication spectrum - getting to the point. I have worked hard to improve a lot and I can usually spot the people I really need to make sure I get to the point with pretty quickly. I will say that even then, I encounter people who constantly interrupt, and at that point, it is usually obvious that it isn't my problem - it is theirs. In business conversation, I put up with it. In personal relationships - I choose not put up with it, if it continues to make simple conversations painful and it is obvious that they should at least care a little what I say but they do not. On #2, whether this is true or not, eye contact is important. I always thought (and have been told) I am good at making good eye contact and using my eyes to help express my points. But when I recently lost my job, I had a chance to do a mock interview. The other person told me I kept looking up at the ceiling and I didn't have good eye contact. Somewhere along the line I must have gotten into a bad habit of looking all around while I was talking. I have had to work at making sure I am making good eye contact during interviews and conversations. So, even when you think you are doing something well, it is always good to get some feedback to make sure you haven't gotten lazy about it. I am someone who is a good listener but I also have realized that I am other side of the communication spectrum - getting to the point. I have worked hard to improve a lot and I can usually spot the people I really need to make sure I get to the point with pretty quickly. I will say that even then, I encounter people who constantly interrupt, and at that point, it is usually obvious that it isn't my problem - it is theirs. In business conversation, I put up with it. In personal relationships - I choose not put up with it, if it continues to make simple conversations painful and it is obvious that they should at least care a little what I say but they do not.

On #2, whether this is true or not, eye contact is important. I always thought (and have been told) I am good at making good eye contact and using my eyes to help express my points. But when I recently lost my job, I had a chance to do a mock interview. The other person told me I kept looking up at the ceiling and I didn't have good eye contact. Somewhere along the line I must have gotten into a bad habit of looking all around while I was talking. I have had to work at making sure I am making good eye contact during interviews and conversations. So, even when you think you are doing something well, it is always good to get some feedback to make sure you haven't gotten lazy about it.

]]> By: Milena http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134278 Milena Fri, 18 Jan 2008 17:37:42 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134278 I found this post a while ago, and found it deliciously entertaining. I'm not above making faux pas like this, so I don't link maliciously -plus, you and the author made up, so I think it speaks of your willingness to change and learn - we see it in your blog all the time. Suburban Turmoil: <a href="http://suburbanturmoil.blogspot.com/2007/07/blogher-part-i-penelope-trunk-rips-me.html" rel="nofollow">Penelope Rips Me a New One</a> I found this post a while ago, and found it deliciously entertaining. I'm not above making faux pas like this, so I don't link maliciously -plus, you and the author made up, so I think it speaks of your willingness to change and learn - we see it in your blog all the time.

Suburban Turmoil: Penelope Rips Me a New One

]]> By: Greg http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134275 Greg Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:07:45 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134275 I sold cars for a couple years after I graduated from college. It did wonders for my "people" and communication skills. I sold cars for a couple years after I graduated from college. It did wonders for my "people" and communication skills.

]]> By: Wayne State Web Communications Blog » Blog Archive » [Friday Links] The Busy Week Edition http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134274 Wayne State Web Communications Blog » Blog Archive » [Friday Links] The Busy Week Edition Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:35:52 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2008/01/16/three-specific-ways-to-improve-your-social-skills/#comment-134274 [...] Three specific ways to improve your social skills [...] […] Three specific ways to improve your social skills […]

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