Comments on: Learn to take criticism well by choosing your critics well http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Wed, 20 Aug 2008 23:27:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: How Young Professionals Get Ahead | Twenty Set http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-142872 How Young Professionals Get Ahead | Twenty Set Wed, 09 Apr 2008 12:39:32 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-142872 [...] is my current work? You are soliciting real feedback, not a pat on the back. You need to be excellent at your current job in order for your company to [...] […] is my current work? You are soliciting real feedback, not a pat on the back. You need to be excellent at your current job in order for your company to […]

]]> By: Newly Corporate » Blog Archive » 4 Things I learned about self image from American Idol http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-134228 Newly Corporate » Blog Archive » 4 Things I learned about self image from American Idol Thu, 17 Jan 2008 04:39:30 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-134228 [...] to LA. When people get to close to you, their view can be as warped as your own, they loose their independence. Think of a company, why do they pay for an audit? Because an independent audit is generally more [...] […] to LA. When people get to close to you, their view can be as warped as your own, they loose their independence. Think of a company, why do they pay for an audit? Because an independent audit is generally more […]

]]> By: Don B. http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-133594 Don B. Thu, 03 Jan 2008 14:45:04 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-133594 I think recruiting animal is upset you treasure his list. It bothers him even more that he knows you are sincere. Life is indeed good. I think recruiting animal is upset you treasure his list. It bothers him even more that he knows you are sincere. Life is indeed good.

]]> By: Jerry Matthew http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-133371 Jerry Matthew Sun, 30 Dec 2007 03:02:43 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-133371 PT - Criticism, by itself, is not a bad thing. Some people equate criticism with failure. Some of the smartest people on the planet have failed thousands of times. Only when they learned to analyze their "mistakes" did they advance beyond their temporary delays. I think criticism becomes hard to take when it is personalized. When a critic rips you just because of who you are, what they are saying isn't worth a dime. If they can tell you why you're stuck where you are or provide useful, actionable, information on your situation only then do they become worth listening to. PT -

Criticism, by itself, is not a bad thing. Some people equate criticism with failure. Some of the smartest people on the planet have failed thousands of times. Only when they learned to analyze their "mistakes" did they advance beyond their temporary delays.

I think criticism becomes hard to take when it is personalized. When a critic rips you just because of who you are, what they are saying isn't worth a dime. If they can tell you why you're stuck where you are or provide useful, actionable, information on your situation only then do they become worth listening to.

]]> By: Matt Bingham http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-131150 Matt Bingham Wed, 26 Dec 2007 17:55:03 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-131150 <p>When learning to take criticism, must you also learn to take compliments? Would you need to practice the same type of filter when people compliment you? I've always struggled with this...are people brown nosing or are they genuine and happen to agree with you. It seems like this could be used on both sides of the fence.</p> * * * * * * <I>Great point, Matt. Sometimes I find myself replying to a compliment with a self-mocking comment. And then I think, UGH! I should have just said thank you. --Penelope</i> When learning to take criticism, must you also learn to take compliments? Would you need to practice the same type of filter when people compliment you? I've always struggled with this…are people brown nosing or are they genuine and happen to agree with you. It seems like this could be used on both sides of the fence.

* * * * * *

Great point, Matt. Sometimes I find myself replying to a compliment with a self-mocking comment. And then I think, UGH! I should have just said thank you.

–Penelope

]]> By: Mark Runta http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130767 Mark Runta Wed, 26 Dec 2007 01:52:34 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130767 The worst reviews I have gotten are the ones which just say good things about me. I feel good but don't learn anything new. If you want to get better at what you do - insist on knowing where you are falling short. That is how you learn and move ahead. Great post! The worst reviews I have gotten are the ones which just say good things about me. I feel good but don't learn anything new. If you want to get better at what you do - insist on knowing where you are falling short. That is how you learn and move ahead.

Great post!

]]> By: leslie http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130538 leslie Tue, 25 Dec 2007 16:53:21 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130538 @recruiting animal I am not lonely or a minority and I read it. I agree with many of the points in the article. Finding someone who knows how to criticize you in a way you can hear it is one of the most important things you can do for personal/professional growth. And yes, they do have to appreciate your strengths so they can direct you in a way that allows your best self to be in charge. I think of it as a director working with an actor. @recruiting animal
I am not lonely or a minority and I read it.

I agree with many of the points in the article. Finding someone who knows how to criticize you in a way you can hear it is one of the most important things you can do for personal/professional growth. And yes, they do have to appreciate your strengths so they can direct you in a way that allows your best self to be in charge. I think of it as a director working with an actor.

]]> By: thom singer http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130432 thom singer Tue, 25 Dec 2007 11:58:36 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130432 Taking criticism well is a HUGE skill that will help a person success. HOWEVER, giving criticism is also a skill that few people understand. While this comment you wrote is true --- "Your best critics may be totally undiplomatic; you need to find the people who best understand your best attributes. If they understand your strengths, then they understand when you’re not using them" --- people also need to realize that just because they CAN criticize does not ALWAYS mean they SHOULD criticize. I think that in today's culture people feel entitled to jump all over other people. Look at the morons who slash you (especially on Yahoo Finance).....sure, you sometimes (okay, all the time) write things that are provocative...but anyone with a brain knows that is your shtick. It is why you have so many readers. Your purpose is not to make everyone like you, it is to make people think about your topics and then to come back and read again tomorrow. And yet these people school you on what you write as if they are the self appointed "Teach Penelope Police". Rather than attacking they should just add to the discussion. But nobody understands the difference. I think that there is a time to point out constructive criticisms and a time to just let the other person live their life. My biggest lesson of 2008 was that you cannot change a pig headed / closed minded / self righteous person who always feels superior....so just don't even debate them. Instead I just smile and say nothing or nod as if I think they are smart. Since learning this lesson my life has become much less stressful. thom Taking criticism well is a HUGE skill that will help a person success.

HOWEVER, giving criticism is also a skill that few people understand. While this comment you wrote is true —

"Your best critics may be totally undiplomatic; you need to find the people who best understand your best attributes. If they understand your strengths, then they understand when you’re not using them"

— people also need to realize that just because they CAN criticize does not ALWAYS mean they SHOULD criticize.

I think that in today's culture people feel entitled to jump all over other people. Look at the morons who slash you (especially on Yahoo Finance)…..sure, you sometimes (okay, all the time) write things that are provocative…but anyone with a brain knows that is your shtick. It is why you have so many readers. Your purpose is not to make everyone like you, it is to make people think about your topics and then to come back and read again tomorrow. And yet these people school you on what you write as if they are the self appointed "Teach Penelope Police". Rather than attacking they should just add to the discussion. But nobody understands the difference.

I think that there is a time to point out constructive criticisms and a time to just let the other person live their life.

My biggest lesson of 2008 was that you cannot change a pig headed / closed minded / self righteous person who always feels superior….so just don't even debate them. Instead I just smile and say nothing or nod as if I think they are smart.

Since learning this lesson my life has become much less stressful.

thom

]]> By: Chris Yeh http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130267 Chris Yeh Tue, 25 Dec 2007 05:27:17 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130267 One of the grand ironies of life is that the folks from whom we'd most welcome constructive criticism are usually the same folks we have to drag said criticism out of. One of the grand ironies of life is that the folks from whom we'd most welcome constructive criticism are usually the same folks we have to drag said criticism out of.

]]> By: Recruiting Animal http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130127 Recruiting Animal Tue, 25 Dec 2007 00:24:57 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/12/24/learn-to-take-criticism-well-by-choosing-your-critics-well/#comment-130127 <p>Wow. This is my favourite kind of endorsement.</p> <p>a. It's written on Christmas Eve when only lonely people and minorities will see it.</p> <p>b. When you're praised for being mean there's less pressure to be friendly in return.</p> <p>So, how will I respond on my blog? "Attacked by Animal, Blogger Claims", "Blogger returns attacks with praise on Christmas Eve." Maybe something like that.</p> <p>Re: being smart: I can get a dozen sincere people who like me to deny it in no time at all.</p> * * * * * * * <I>Lonely people and minorities? That is the kind of cutting but hilarious commentary I'm talking about... --Penelope</i> Wow. This is my favourite kind of endorsement.

a. It's written on Christmas Eve when only lonely people and minorities will see it.

b. When you're praised for being mean there's less pressure to be friendly in return.

So, how will I respond on my blog? "Attacked by Animal, Blogger Claims", "Blogger returns attacks with praise on Christmas Eve." Maybe something like that.

Re: being smart: I can get a dozen sincere people who like me to deny it in no time at all.

* * * * * * *
Lonely people and minorities? That is the kind of cutting but hilarious commentary I'm talking about…

–Penelope

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