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	<title>Comments on: Confidence boosters that work for me</title>
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	<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/</link>
	<description>Advice at the intersection of work and life</description>
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		<title>By: Negotiating your first corporate salary &#171; My Gen Y Life</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-182861</link>
		<dc:creator>Negotiating your first corporate salary &#171; My Gen Y Life</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 22 Mar 2009 00:09:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-182861</guid>
		<description>[...] go in to negotiate do whatever you need to do to get that extra boost. Penelope Trunk tells about what boosters work for her, such as dressing up for work. It might be a special caffeine drink, wearing your “power” tie, [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] go in to negotiate do whatever you need to do to get that extra boost. Penelope Trunk tells about what boosters work for her, such as dressing up for work. It might be a special caffeine drink, wearing your “power” tie, [...]</p>
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		<title>By: jrandom42</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-134745</link>
		<dc:creator>jrandom42</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Jan 2008 18:25:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-134745</guid>
		<description>B. Auton, just some thoughts on &#039;dressing up&#039;. 

It all depends on your audience. Sounds like you work with a group that is involved in operations or marketing or some such. Imposing anything like this on a technology group or IT department is a recipe for disaster. 

One company I worked for imposed a code for suits for meeting external customers, and long sleeve shirts, ties, pressed slacks and shined shoes for all other employees. Within a week, the CTO, the CIO, the entire software engineering team, the database management team, the network engineering team, and the desktop support team quit, leaving only the helpdesk. Each and everyone who quit was working for another company with a much less restrictive dress code within 2 weeks. Several years later, the company is still in business, but it&#039;s only a shadow of it&#039;s former market leading self.

It&#039;s an article of faith that just about every serious IT person has quit at least one job over dress codes. Often, it&#039;s seen as an attempt to dictate productivity and exert control over a process that really doesn&#039;t lend itself to authoritative methods of management. It&#039;s also seen as a sign that the company has lost control of its market and is attempting to exert control over what it can. Not a good message to send to employees.

Finally, let&#039;s face it. The &quot;suits&quot; have always been regarded with suspicion by us IT folk, and for very good reasons. Can you say &quot;PHB&quot;?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>B. Auton, just some thoughts on &#039;dressing up&#039;. </p>
<p>It all depends on your audience. Sounds like you work with a group that is involved in operations or marketing or some such. Imposing anything like this on a technology group or IT department is a recipe for disaster. </p>
<p>One company I worked for imposed a code for suits for meeting external customers, and long sleeve shirts, ties, pressed slacks and shined shoes for all other employees. Within a week, the CTO, the CIO, the entire software engineering team, the database management team, the network engineering team, and the desktop support team quit, leaving only the helpdesk. Each and everyone who quit was working for another company with a much less restrictive dress code within 2 weeks. Several years later, the company is still in business, but it&#039;s only a shadow of it&#039;s former market leading self.</p>
<p>It&#039;s an article of faith that just about every serious IT person has quit at least one job over dress codes. Often, it&#039;s seen as an attempt to dictate productivity and exert control over a process that really doesn&#039;t lend itself to authoritative methods of management. It&#039;s also seen as a sign that the company has lost control of its market and is attempting to exert control over what it can. Not a good message to send to employees.</p>
<p>Finally, let&#039;s face it. The &#034;suits&#034; have always been regarded with suspicion by us IT folk, and for very good reasons. Can you say &#034;PHB&#034;?</p>
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		<title>By: B.Auton</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-133518</link>
		<dc:creator>B.Auton</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:40:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-133518</guid>
		<description>A few members of my team bemoaned the fact our company wasn&#039;t strict enough with dress codes and I floated the ideas of a &quot;no jeans&quot; rule. It went down well and some team members encouraged me to go stricter. The next day I took in ties and asked all the men on the office to wear one. Most did and by the end of the week, they all did. I also insisted that they should be worn properly with the top button on the shirt fastened and was amazed at how little complaints I got from the men. In fact, most seemed glad to have such rules and it seemed to increase self confidence in people and the feedback from theother departments was that it had spruced up the whole image AND atmosphere AND attitude  of the office. A definite success.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A few members of my team bemoaned the fact our company wasn&#039;t strict enough with dress codes and I floated the ideas of a &#034;no jeans&#034; rule. It went down well and some team members encouraged me to go stricter. The next day I took in ties and asked all the men on the office to wear one. Most did and by the end of the week, they all did. I also insisted that they should be worn properly with the top button on the shirt fastened and was amazed at how little complaints I got from the men. In fact, most seemed glad to have such rules and it seemed to increase self confidence in people and the feedback from theother departments was that it had spruced up the whole image AND atmosphere AND attitude  of the office. A definite success.</p>
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		<title>By: m</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-112982</link>
		<dc:creator>m</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Nov 2007 21:13:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-112982</guid>
		<description>I totally agree. I think in the world of personal finance attention to clothing is at times (often?) dismissed as being frivolous and a waste of money. 

Frugality and dressing well and caring about one&#039;s appearance seem at odds with one another in some people&#039;s minds. I, however, couldn&#039;t disagree more. 

I remember even in fifth grade, analyzing a short story in English class, and when the teacher wanted to know why the woman cleaned up the little boy and his appearance after he&#039;d tried to steal from her, we students realized that it was because looking good, neat, and taking pride in your appearance sets the stage for feeling good about yourself--as well as for being viewed in a positive way by others. 

Sure, the priciest items of clothing aren&#039;t required for a neat, respectiable appearance, but spending money on high quality, attractive clothes does not have to be a waste of money, and in many ways is actually an investment in yourself. As paying attention to your appearance reflects that you take pride in how you present yourself and treat yourself. 

It also allows you to dress the part you are playing. PJs are for lounging, more dressy clothes are for more serious efforts. 

Confidence and motivation are not found in clothing, obviously, but taking the time to care about how you present and treat yourself does help to spark the confidence and motivation you already  have inside. 

It also sends the message to others that you care about details and care how you treat yourself. Because if you don&#039;t care about how you take care of yourself and present yourself, how can others feel confident that you will care about how you take care of them and present them to the world?

There are so many reasons why appearance does matter (not your natural looks per se that you can&#039;t do anything about, but your &quot;look,&quot; which you are in control of); the ones you, I, and other commenters mentioned are only some of them.

Great post!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I totally agree. I think in the world of personal finance attention to clothing is at times (often?) dismissed as being frivolous and a waste of money. </p>
<p>Frugality and dressing well and caring about one&#039;s appearance seem at odds with one another in some people&#039;s minds. I, however, couldn&#039;t disagree more. </p>
<p>I remember even in fifth grade, analyzing a short story in English class, and when the teacher wanted to know why the woman cleaned up the little boy and his appearance after he&#039;d tried to steal from her, we students realized that it was because looking good, neat, and taking pride in your appearance sets the stage for feeling good about yourself&#8211;as well as for being viewed in a positive way by others. </p>
<p>Sure, the priciest items of clothing aren&#039;t required for a neat, respectiable appearance, but spending money on high quality, attractive clothes does not have to be a waste of money, and in many ways is actually an investment in yourself. As paying attention to your appearance reflects that you take pride in how you present yourself and treat yourself. </p>
<p>It also allows you to dress the part you are playing. PJs are for lounging, more dressy clothes are for more serious efforts. </p>
<p>Confidence and motivation are not found in clothing, obviously, but taking the time to care about how you present and treat yourself does help to spark the confidence and motivation you already  have inside. </p>
<p>It also sends the message to others that you care about details and care how you treat yourself. Because if you don&#039;t care about how you take care of yourself and present yourself, how can others feel confident that you will care about how you take care of them and present them to the world?</p>
<p>There are so many reasons why appearance does matter (not your natural looks per se that you can&#039;t do anything about, but your &#034;look,&#034; which you are in control of); the ones you, I, and other commenters mentioned are only some of them.</p>
<p>Great post!</p>
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		<title>By: Weekend Update: Thanksgiving Edition ∞ Get Rich Slowly</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-112962</link>
		<dc:creator>Weekend Update: Thanksgiving Edition ∞ Get Rich Slowly</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Nov 2007 17:05:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-112962</guid>
		<description>[...] Brazen Careerist, Penelope shares a confidence booster that works for her. She likes to dress for success. This is very relevant to my current situation &#8212; I&#8217;ve [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] Brazen Careerist, Penelope shares a confidence booster that works for her. She likes to dress for success. This is very relevant to my current situation &mdash; I&#039;ve [...]</p>
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		<title>By: Queercents &#187; Blog Archive &#187; Queercents Weekly Roundup: Intern on Assignment</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-112878</link>
		<dc:creator>Queercents &#187; Blog Archive &#187; Queercents Weekly Roundup: Intern on Assignment</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 Nov 2007 12:01:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-112878</guid>
		<description>[...] gets structure and a better pick-me-up out of her own closet, one of those investments paying off. (Read it at The Brazen [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[...] gets structure and a better pick-me-up out of her own closet, one of those investments paying off. (Read it at The Brazen [...]</p>
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		<title>By: Earl</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-112813</link>
		<dc:creator>Earl</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Nov 2007 19:00:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-112813</guid>
		<description>I always feel better, too, when I dress a notch better than what&#039;s expected or required - and cleaning out my briefcase and giving it a quick buff (it&#039;s an aluminum Zero that I got for my birthday several years ago) and putting it by the door before I go to bed gets me rolling with a lot of positive momentum, too. 

Remember that quote from Seinfeld about people who wear sweatpants outside the house except for working out? Jerry said they&#039;ve given up. Joke or not, it was true for me, and returned me to my classic(?) prepped-out khakis and button downs. It works for me!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I always feel better, too, when I dress a notch better than what&#039;s expected or required &#8211; and cleaning out my briefcase and giving it a quick buff (it&#039;s an aluminum Zero that I got for my birthday several years ago) and putting it by the door before I go to bed gets me rolling with a lot of positive momentum, too. </p>
<p>Remember that quote from Seinfeld about people who wear sweatpants outside the house except for working out? Jerry said they&#039;ve given up. Joke or not, it was true for me, and returned me to my classic(?) prepped-out khakis and button downs. It works for me!</p>
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		<title>By: Sifi M</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-112592</link>
		<dc:creator>Sifi M</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Nov 2007 19:50:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-112592</guid>
		<description>Another fun set of comments for a pre-Thanksgiving slow day...
A word on jeans. Isn&#039;t it amazing how they continue to morph? Twenty years ago I never wore them to the office, even on casual Friday. Now I am in them several days a week. I even wear them to internal meetings. The key is to take some time and find some good fitting ones that are current in terms of style. If you can reasonably afford it, SPEND the money. Think of it this way: You would spend the money on a suit that you may only wear a few dozen times a year, if that. If you buy those amazing jeans you will be rocking them 50+ days a year for two years. (For good deals, find your brand and style and search the web.)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Another fun set of comments for a pre-Thanksgiving slow day&#8230;<br />
A word on jeans. Isn&#039;t it amazing how they continue to morph? Twenty years ago I never wore them to the office, even on casual Friday. Now I am in them several days a week. I even wear them to internal meetings. The key is to take some time and find some good fitting ones that are current in terms of style. If you can reasonably afford it, SPEND the money. Think of it this way: You would spend the money on a suit that you may only wear a few dozen times a year, if that. If you buy those amazing jeans you will be rocking them 50+ days a year for two years. (For good deals, find your brand and style and search the web.)</p>
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		<title>By: Agnes in NY</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-112403</link>
		<dc:creator>Agnes in NY</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:32:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-112403</guid>
		<description>I definitely agree that our presence plays a big role in how we feel about ourselves.  Each year, typically around Christmas, I begin to clean out my closet and bag the clothes I&#039;m ready to share by donating them. Then I do my best to upgrade my wardrobe by changing my style somewhat each year. I agree that it&#039;s not the name but the quality and fit of the clothing that reflects best on us. But here is something else that I find to be another confidence builder for ME... My home. There is something about me walking into a room with freshly painted (or at least clean,  up-to-date) walls, un-chipped furnishings, unstained upholstry, curtains that don&#039;t look like outcasts in your living area and wires that are coming out of your wall as if they are out of control on their own!  I try to change things around and replace old with news every few years. Budget allowing of course. This is the year that I don&#039;t like how I look when I go to work (at a job that I enjoy very much) and I don&#039;t particularly like the first couple of rooms I see when I walk into my home after a long day of commuting and working! I keep seeing this image of a new coffee table in my living room, adding a chaise or a chair to it, finally replacing two lamps that have fallen and cracked less than a year after purchasing them!, adding some pillows to my couch, finally purchasing a rug for my dining room and last but not least... Throwing my current desk off the terrace and replacing it to match the rest of the espresso stained wood in the room! The image I project is this exuberant feeling of energy and brightness to add to my &quot;appearance&quot; before and after my work day.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I definitely agree that our presence plays a big role in how we feel about ourselves.  Each year, typically around Christmas, I begin to clean out my closet and bag the clothes I&#039;m ready to share by donating them. Then I do my best to upgrade my wardrobe by changing my style somewhat each year. I agree that it&#039;s not the name but the quality and fit of the clothing that reflects best on us. But here is something else that I find to be another confidence builder for ME&#8230; My home. There is something about me walking into a room with freshly painted (or at least clean,  up-to-date) walls, un-chipped furnishings, unstained upholstry, curtains that don&#039;t look like outcasts in your living area and wires that are coming out of your wall as if they are out of control on their own!  I try to change things around and replace old with news every few years. Budget allowing of course. This is the year that I don&#039;t like how I look when I go to work (at a job that I enjoy very much) and I don&#039;t particularly like the first couple of rooms I see when I walk into my home after a long day of commuting and working! I keep seeing this image of a new coffee table in my living room, adding a chaise or a chair to it, finally replacing two lamps that have fallen and cracked less than a year after purchasing them!, adding some pillows to my couch, finally purchasing a rug for my dining room and last but not least&#8230; Throwing my current desk off the terrace and replacing it to match the rest of the espresso stained wood in the room! The image I project is this exuberant feeling of energy and brightness to add to my &#034;appearance&#034; before and after my work day.</p>
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		<title>By: kristi</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/comment-page-1/#comment-112394</link>
		<dc:creator>kristi</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:12:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/11/19/confidence-boosters-that-work-for-me/#comment-112394</guid>
		<description>I wore a military uniform to work for years, and when I changed over to a completely civilian life, I wanted to wear clothes that were comfortable. I had the freedom to choose my style of dress at work, so I wore very casual clothes that were comfortable and if I&#039;m being truthful, also frumpy. 
On a recent conference trip, I brought my hubby and kids along and after the event, we drove down to the beach where we honeymooned. 
I got some sun on my fish-belly-white skin and found a store that had stylish, affordable work clothes I liked, and which fit me. I bought a week&#039;s worth of new outfits and came home with a new attitude.
The change in how everyone responds to me, from my husband, kids, and friends to my co-workers and supervisors, has been nothing short of thrilling.
I get compliments, smiles and words of praise every single day now. I felt so good about myself, I finally had the confidence to change my hairstyle. After 7 years of long and straight, I&#039;m  now short, layered and wavy. And the compliments just keep coming in... 
I&#039;ve also decided to keep my &quot;sun-kissed&quot; look by using tinted moisturizer every day, which has led to my hubby suddenly start kissing me when we pass in the hall at night!
My confidence is at an all-time high right now, and my motivation has increased so that I&#039;m taking vitamins again and getting more veggies each day. 
(I even brought some fresh fruit for lunch today.)
So, even though clothes, hair, and appearance can seem like shallow things to concentrate on, my experience has been that by taking those steps to improve, the results are exponential.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I wore a military uniform to work for years, and when I changed over to a completely civilian life, I wanted to wear clothes that were comfortable. I had the freedom to choose my style of dress at work, so I wore very casual clothes that were comfortable and if I&#039;m being truthful, also frumpy.<br />
On a recent conference trip, I brought my hubby and kids along and after the event, we drove down to the beach where we honeymooned.<br />
I got some sun on my fish-belly-white skin and found a store that had stylish, affordable work clothes I liked, and which fit me. I bought a week&#039;s worth of new outfits and came home with a new attitude.<br />
The change in how everyone responds to me, from my husband, kids, and friends to my co-workers and supervisors, has been nothing short of thrilling.<br />
I get compliments, smiles and words of praise every single day now. I felt so good about myself, I finally had the confidence to change my hairstyle. After 7 years of long and straight, I&#039;m  now short, layered and wavy. And the compliments just keep coming in&#8230;<br />
I&#039;ve also decided to keep my &#034;sun-kissed&#034; look by using tinted moisturizer every day, which has led to my hubby suddenly start kissing me when we pass in the hall at night!<br />
My confidence is at an all-time high right now, and my motivation has increased so that I&#039;m taking vitamins again and getting more veggies each day.<br />
(I even brought some fresh fruit for lunch today.)<br />
So, even though clothes, hair, and appearance can seem like shallow things to concentrate on, my experience has been that by taking those steps to improve, the results are exponential.</p>
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