I'm thinking of my boss who I suspect is lesbian. She's #2 at a large financial advisory firm. Knowing the industry well, at this point I can't help but think that it would hurt her more than help her if she came out.

I think major clients would suddenly feel uncomfortable knowing this, even if most (or all) of her coworkers and employees would be completely fine with it. And even if these clients are not generally homo-phobic.

It's the act of keeping this hidden for 25+ years that would create a sense of betrayal…

In the working world sometimes it behooves us to be tolerant, if not grateful, for the seeming crumbs that fall from the table of those in the majority. I believe that the statement above is one such crumb. We live in a world of people who for all their vocalized love of individuality and respect for difference, are very often ignorant about how to react when faced with it. True, it is a condesending pat on the head, but it also demonstrates an attempt to make peace with difference.

The people who say this type of thing, come from an imagined cookie cutter world, and validate that they are not like the "intolerant many" by telling others, and more importantly themselves, that difference means nothing – AKA you're still the same person. It is revealing, and even an admirable thing when taken in the context of hate crimes etc, but it makes one angry that we haven't progressed beyond this as a community.

I cannot speak to your body of experience, but in my case as a straight, black, imported:), boomer, male, I am cognizant of the alternative, and am just happy to have a platform from which to elicit meaningful and permanent change, because like it or not, we are each ambassadors of our kind.

When I started at my job 10 years ago, I was fearful of possible firing for any reason during the initial 6 months. On the day I started, I told myself I would not make any mention of my partner and my orientation- not knowing the environment or level of safety. The morning went horrendously bad– the person I was training with was asking all the niceties that you would ask a new co worker– and I was giving nothing back. At lunch break, I told myself that if I got fired for being myself, I didn't belong there. I apologized profusely to my trainer and explained why I had acted the way I did.

The 10 years here have been a learning curve. I got the human resources department to get real about their domestic partner benefits and have made real change. Our company was the first big corporate entity to participate in the local pride parade 4 years ago, too.