By Ryan Healy - According to Monster.com, 60 percent of college graduates move home with mom and dad after graduation and the trend is on the rise. The statistic holds true with my friends from the class of 2006. More than half moved back to the suburbs to start adult life, much the same way they ended high school life — with their parents. A lot of people say generation Y needs to grow up and take some personal responsibility and that we have been coddled by our helicopter parents (see the comments section).
But when you look closely, it is glaringly apparent that moving back in with parents is one of the the most responsible things a new college grad can do. By sucking it up at home for a year or two, young people give themselves the opportunity to take control of their career, take control of their finances and transition from the care-free college fantasy world to the real-world of work, marriage, kids, mortgages and car payments.
Take control of your career
To live comfortably in a big city like New York, students are forced to take a high paying, but less than satisfying job. Often, top graduates end up working for the best paying investment bank or law firm. I’m sure you could find a small minority of conservative students who had dreams of becoming an I-banker since middle school, but for the most part these jobs are going to the top tier students who are trying to make a quick buck before they retire at 30 (or so they say).
By moving home after graduation, you have little or no rent which allows for more freedom when searching for a job. There is no need to sell out to an investment bank if your real goal is to work with underprivileged children. Depending on where your parents are located, you are probably missing out on the big city night life and social scene, but you have lots of opportunities to find the perfect job, regardless of pay. If ditching the social scene for career sake doesn’t demonstrate responsibility and independence, I don’t know what does.
Take control of your finances
Real wages today are lower than they were for the past two generations of workers. Couple that fact with today’s insane housing costs and an increase in contract workers not receiving benefits, just getting by on forty or fifty thousand a year in a major city is nearly impossible. Attempting to save any reasonable amount of money the first few years is a joke.
However, moving home with mom and dad will immediately save you about $700 a month in housing costs. At least there is some extra cash flow. In two years, you can save up enough to move out on your own without worrying about going into credit card debt for basic necessities like fixing your car or buying groceries.
Take an appropriate adjustment period between college and the real world
People really do struggle adjusting from college to the real world. A good friend of mine just fulfilled her life long dream of moving to New York. She still loves the city, but she is overwhelmed and doesn’t exactly like her day job. Sure, many people go through this tough transition period, and chances are she will eventually enjoy it, but the transition from child to adult is different, and oftentimes, more difficult for today’s youth.
“This period is not a transition, but an actual life stage, according to Jeffrey Arnett, associate professor at University of Missouri and author of Emerging Adulthood: A Theory of Development from the Late Teens through Early Twenties . Arnett describes the period between college and adulthood as, “a self- focused stage where people have the freedom to focus on their own development.” Notice he calls this period of stage in development and not just a transition between two stages.
So why do we still try to go from adolescent to adult in a matter of weeks or months?
Moving home for a while enables an appropriate and productive transition. Rather than focus on rent, bills and kids, emerging adults living at home with their parents have the ability to focus on the most important aspects of emerging adult life: figuring out who they are and what career is right for them.
Ryan Healy’s blog is Employee Evolution.
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It seems like everyone is angered by the idea of moving back home. I think it’s a great idea if it’s possible. Most college students leave college with not only loan debt but high interest credit card debt too. Living at home for while to pay that debt down and save some money is something I would love to have done. Unfortunately, I’m from a rural area, so moving back home wasn’t an option unless I want to work the register at Wal-Mart.
Posted by Jeremiah on October 17, 2007 at 6:04 am | permalink |
This is a good article on the subject.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/442994/where_to_live_after_graduating_college.html
Posted by Bob on November 30, 2007 at 8:41 pm | permalink |
After college, we dream of getting married and move in white picket fence house (you can come up with your own version)
It is tough to get a decent job that pay well. Thus, with no option, your loving parents let you in.
What a great idea and you will save money.
Uh-Oh and you found out that being home insulate you.
I must said, disciplined person will save money but it delay your ability to learn to live independently. I think being out of home will force you to find a way.
If there is a will, ther is a way.
Let’s said, it is better that you go home if there is no luck with getting job or any kind. When you are at home, set deadline and push yourself to get out of the house. Because the longer you stay, and the comfort you become and then you become medicore. The next thing, your parents treat like you are in high school. Fun!
Posted by Joe on December 27, 2007 at 6:23 am | permalink |
I am a parent with a 24 year old child who has just graduated. I can not tell you how good it makes me feel to see the comments about teaching your child how to be independent. Thank you!!!! I know times are different. I have been more that financially supportive. However, there comes a point where parents deserve to be independent too. Enabling children is not good parenting – period. It is hard to let go, but in nature it occurs and humans could learn a thing or two from birds etc….Supporting children through college is plenty and more than many young people receive. The sense of entitlement gets old fast and the school of hard knocks is maybe a better eduation than college.
Posted by Rose on January 29, 2008 at 5:23 pm | permalink |
If, as Ryan states, 60% of twentysomethings are moving back home, does it not then follow that 60% of America’s parents–who, I think I can rightfully assume, are early X-ers and Boomers–are letting them? I find it interesting that members of these earlier generations spend so much time railing against twentysomethings for their laziness and arrogance, and in the same breath, pound their own chests for their superior work and life ethic. Didn’t they raise these kids?
And for my 2-c, not every recent grad who goes back home is lazy, and not every recent grad who gets the job because it pays well and leaves home is a grown-up.
Both sides seem to be more interested in firing shots than attempting to unify a generational gap that could help our social and economic systems at a time when we sorely need it.
Posted by Megan on January 29, 2008 at 10:39 pm | permalink |
OR find an apartment building that will offer you no broker fee and 1 or 2 months free rent. This will help the cost and give you your needed Independence.
Posted by Kat Vogeler on June 2, 2008 at 8:24 am | permalink |
I am 23 years old, and think that for some people this is completely asinine advice. It all depends on what you want out of your life. To say blanketly that this is the most responsible move is incorrect. I have friends that are in long term relationships where both people agreed to move home after college in order to save money for the massive life changes not too far down the road for them. I also have friends that want to own their own home by 25, and with the addition of college debt, moving home is the best move for them.
For you to say that is the best way to jump start a career you truly want, or to mask this advice as anything other than financially based (not that the financial motivation is bad) is just wrong. You do realize how many more opportunities there are for those off the beaten path dream jobs in cities than in the suburbs, right? And what about someone who is looking to experience the world, meet new people, and see what is out there for a couple years. I hardly imagine living with mommy and daddy will afford them those opportunities.
The problem with living in big cities isn’t that it is too expensive, its that people do it stupidly. I am living in New York City (one of the most expensive in the world) and the only peers I have that are struggling are the ones who immediately took apartments in the most expensive neighborhoods in Manhattan for way beyond their means. I started my career here nine months ago in a job I grew to dislike, and I quit. Now? I am going to working two jobs to make ends meet, but one of those is a part-time dream job. I also still have the time to volunteer and start my own business on the side. And for the record, I wouldn’t have even known about the opportunities i have been given if I had been living in the suburbs. Graduates aren’t strangling themselves financially by living in cities, they are doing it through the choices they make in those cities. And in 6 years, will I have less money than my peers that lived at home? Yea. But will they have the experience and self satisfaction of knowing that they succeeded in a new foreign environment, whatever that may be? Hardly.
Again, I am not saying that moving home is always a bad idea. All I am saying is that people who give the kind of advice that you do(telling everyone its the responsible thing to do) are selling my generation way short on what they should be getting out of these years. The advice must be tailored to the individual situation.
Posted by Bryan on June 14, 2008 at 4:59 pm | permalink |
I pay 30,000 per year tuition for my oldest…cold hard cash out of my pocket….no loans, no scholarships etc. She is required to pay her own room and board of about $8000 per year by working. Her internship between 3rd and 4th year is unpaid, so we’ve agreed to pay her what she’d have made at her job hour per hour for the intership, but require her to earn her own spending money instead (which went over like a lead balloon.) I wouldn’t change a thing. Not only does she realize this is her last year home but it makes her appreciate being her a LOT more. We may “give her back” some of her room and board next year when it’s time to go on her own by paying a portion of her rent for one year. That way she is getting established and getting used to paying rent, but just eases it a little for the first year while she establishes herself at a job. We have put away furniture, household goods etc for her over the years to help her out. I think this is what parents should do…based on their financial situation, but by all means, once they graduate college, it’s time to move on. I am waiting to get to the next phase of my own life…………you know???
Posted by SC on June 23, 2008 at 12:33 am | permalink |
I am 24 years old and have been living with my parents for the past two years, since I graduated from college. This article is encouraging to me because I struggle everyday with the fact that I am still living at home. I came back home right after graduation, thinking that I would work on my resume and portfolio (I’m a design and illustration major), apply for jobs in larger cities, get a job and move out by the end of the summer.
However, this is not the same world in which my parents grew up. Very few companies hire people who don’t currently live in that particular city, so you have to (A) find a job before you graduate or (B) pick up and move to a city and look for a job while you currently don’t have one. For an art major who worked on her thesis for the entire school year, finding a job while in school was out of the question. Even in my hometown, finding a job in my field was extremely difficult, especially when I find myself competing with other recent graduates and even experienced designers for the same jobs.
I ended up staying at home and helping out my mom a lot, especially while she and my dad were separated. I cooked, cleaned, and helped my mom with her business while my parents tried to figure things out. Everyday, I wish I had my own place and eventually, I would love to live in a larger city. But right now, even with a good paying job with great benefits, I still find it unreasonable to move out. With the economy going further south each day, it doesn’t make sense to move into an apartment, buy furniture and appliances, pay rent, car insurance, gas, groceries… I would literally be living pay check to pay check with no extra money to save, all in the name of having my own space. My parents are okay with my being at home and realize that it is only temporary. I help out where I can and have been saving up a good bit to move out and have a security blanket for whatever comes next.
And it’s not like I haven’t lived on my own before. What the heck do you call being in college? I bought my own food, had a way to pay for housing, and kept up with finances. I even lived in an apartment in a foreign country and survived! Is that not independence?
I think there is still a major stigma around adult children living with their parents in the U.S., and I’ll admit that I buy into it as well. I hope that some of you realize that it doesn’t always have to do with laziness or a lack of drive. I am extremely driven and have some strong goals for my life. I am just trying to make the best of my current situation by planning for my future and saving as much as possible.
Posted by Adela on June 29, 2008 at 12:45 pm | permalink |
I moved home after college. It’s been around a year. It’s TOUGH to do it- you don’t have the same freedom you once did to do as you like and even your “space” isn’t exactly your space. I help out being home though, it’s not like I stay here for nothing. With having 2 younger siblings, I babysit for my parents, clean around the house, drive my siblings places when they need to. I also work full time. But I do have to pay college loans every month- that’s $500 gone, and then my parents have me pay “rent”- meaning a portion of my paycheck has to go to a savings account (which will be for me). It’s not really costing them anything to have me here, in fact that save on babysitters and cleaning services, and at the same time I can work on paying off student loans and saving some money. If I had to pay rent and utilities in Los Angeles I would never make it. I would DEFINITELY not have any money saved up. I guess I could move to a cheaper city, but my parents would never pay for that when I could live here for free, and getting a job in a place you’re not currently living in is pretty hard- I tried for a while. I grew up here and went to school here- it’s basically where I’m stuck. I don’t feel bad living at home or like I’m being irresponsible. A lot of my friends are doing the same thing. Unless they run off and get married right after school, and I’m certainly not ready to do that. I like the fact that I’m able to save some money. Maybe if I didn’t have a $500 loan payment every month I’d be more equipped to live on my own, but even if I didn’t, I’d rather save that and suck it up for a couple of years. It’s kind of ridiculous to say everyone who does this is irresponsible. Some people are, yes, they throw their extra cash away on cars and parties and clothes. But everyones situation is different. I’m living in one of the most expensive cities in the country trying to set up a future for myself by working full time and assisting my parents so they have more freedom with their life too. It’s offensive when older people say I’m doing this because I expect everything handed to me. My parents gave me this choice, I’m paying for the education they basically forced me to have with student loans, so it’s really the only way to live. The job market isn’t what it once was. Everything requires “experience” you don’t have if you’re a college grad. I worked and had internships all throughout school, I guess that doesn’t count. Financially, it doesn’t make sense for me to live on my own unless I’m living in a cardboard box somewhere.
Posted by Amanda on July 7, 2008 at 12:17 pm | permalink |
I think that this advice could be good, but in most cases it’s not. Out of all my friends I am the only one that lives totally on my own and have since I was 21(now 22). I brought a car that I could afford before I moved out of my parents house, but now it’s bringing me a great burden. I’m current looking for a sec job and maybe even a third to make ends meet. My parents know that I struggle and offer to help, but I believe that if I can figure out how to make it thru this I will be a more independent person and perhaps be able to take of my parents in the future. I believe that moving home is the easy way out and it distorts the way that you will perceive the rest of your life to be. If you really want to be responsible you should just bite the bullet and make ends meet on your own until you are able to live comfortably. If you are really determine to not struggle for the rest of your life this stage will teach lessons about life that you would not learn my moving back home.
Posted by Angela Jones on July 25, 2008 at 10:40 am | permalink |
Wow. Reading this article was kind of a relief to find that this isn’t so much a stigma anymore. I too am encouraged by reading this! My story’s a bit different in that I never moved away from home to go to college in the first place. Also, a bit of cultural aspect in thrown in: I come from a traditional Chinese family and so I’m not really expected to leave home AT ALL until I get married, start my own family. As offspring, we stick around our parents… just kinda naturally. Eventually I’m sure my parents would love to have their retired life without my sister and I. But for now, they see me (freshly graduated, just-turned-22) as someone who could do much better by staying home. Like Ryan suggested, we believe that I’m making a smart move by not wasting money on ridiculous rent in Vancouver, instead focus and spend more time on finding a job that really suits me. Sure if I had to be thrown out, I’d survive on my own from paycheque to paycheque, working dead-end jobs until I pull myself out of it. I don’t feel like I have to “suck it up” either. My parents and I get along fine and we have our own system of managing things. I enjoy chipping in money to pay utilities and the comfort of living with people I love.
Posted by Hazel on August 20, 2008 at 1:15 pm | permalink |
Actually from a mom standpoint, I admire other cultures who embrace the extended
family unit, and encourage children to understand that living with family is indeed a blessing. If everyone involved contributes to the family unit and supports one another,
respecting privacy as individuals, how can this be a bad thing. In actuality the US is in the minority in that the norm is to encourage children to “leave the nest” ASAP. There is alot to be learned from other cultures in this respect.
Posted by Kathleen on October 20, 2011 at 5:06 pm | permalink |
Actually from a mom standpoint, I admire other cultures who embrace the extended
family unit, and encourage children to understand that living with family is indeed a blessing. If everyone involved contributes to the family unit and supports one another,
respecting privacy as individuals, how can this be a bad thing. In actuality the US is in the minority in that the norm is to encourage children to “leave the nest” ASAP. There is alot to be learned from other cultures in this respect.
Posted by Kathleen on October 20, 2011 at 5:06 pm | permalink |
Actually from a mom standpoint, I admire other cultures who embrace the extended
family unit, and encourage children to understand that living with family is indeed a blessing. If everyone involved contributes to the family unit and supports one another,
respecting privacy as individuals, how can this be a bad thing. In actuality the US is in the minority in that the norm is to encourage children to “leave the nest” ASAP. There is alot to be learned from other cultures in this respect.
Posted by Kathleen on October 20, 2011 at 5:06 pm | permalink |
To those of you who find this article full of bad advice it is obvious you have never lived in another country. It is very American to leave the home right after college, and start a life on your own. Yet in other cultures this is not the case. It is not considered lurking off your parents to move back home after an education. The idea of a family consisting of just mom dad and kids, is not the case everywhere else. I have found that people who do indeed move home are happier, and can contribute to the family together. Life is more than surviving your next rent.
Posted by LIA on December 27, 2008 at 1:46 pm | permalink |
I have agree with saying that just after college is the perfect time when you can actually use your parent’s experience in the real world the most. I don’t think it is necessary to live at home, but living in the same town as your parents for 2 years would be a good choice. Setting up your life takes a lot of dealings and “red tape” you never had to deal with before and there is where your parents can do a lot of good. Selecting your first apartment, getting it furnished, buying your first car, getting a loan, insurance, setting bank accounts, savings accounts, investment accounts. Not to mention you get into your first dealings with coworkers at your new job, the paperwork around that, your first real tax return, how to ask for your first raise, how to start building a career at work. There are so many things, many of them you could have picked up on your own earlier, but most of those you meet for the first time just after college. Even if you are much smarter than your parents, all those areas do benefit greatly from experience and even if you don’t save on rent, the money saved from a good advice in those areas could be quite real, it can go into thousands or even tens of thousands of dollars saved by not making all the mistakes your parents made 20 years ago.
Posted by Jiri Klouda on February 10, 2009 at 2:58 pm | permalink |
You neglect to mention that graduates who move back home are often much more careless with their money. Studies have shown that students who move on their own after graduation are more secure financially than those who initially moved back in with their parents.
Posted by Brad Allmendinger on February 27, 2009 at 6:34 pm | permalink |
I completely disagree. You contradict yourself by supporting the statement that after-college is a transition time (or stage in life) but then you say to move back home. Moving back may not —probably isn’t the best way to really self reflect. And there are plenty of people who make smart decisions with their finances after college and end up being very successful. Also, I agree with the last posters comment. Just because someone is at home supposedly saving up money does not mean that they learn how to be any more responsible with their finances.
Posted by Porshe on April 27, 2009 at 6:10 pm | permalink |
I agree with most of this, as I moved back in with my parents after graduation. But honestly? It made me want to kill someone (myself or my parents, it changed every day). I wish I could have stuck it out for longer as I was saving a ton on rent money, but it was incredibly hard to go from living on my own for 4 years to being under my parent’s roof again. While lovely, understanding people who always encouraged me to be independent, it was depressing to be back home with them.
As soon as I got a job, I moved out.
Living at home did allow me the luxury of finding the “perfect” job without stress or pressure. That being said, I live right next to the city I wanted to work in. Applying for jobs long distance is a pain.
I also want to point out how much I disagree with the writer’s statement about the “real world” which includes marriage and kids and suburbs. While I’m sure it wasn’t intended this way, the “real world”, in fact, varies. And to be perfectly frank, 22-year-old kids probably shouldn’t be forced into that kind of life until the’ve gotten the 22-year-old out of them
Posted by Marian Schembari on October 6, 2009 at 1:27 pm | permalink |
I am a College student and have lived in all three different situations. I will graduate with spending 5 years in Undergraduate study(Transferring and changing your major three times will do this to you):
I have lived in……
A.) Dorm(2 years)
B.) Apartment(1 year)
C.) Home(2 years)
I’d say if you have the opportunity to move out then DO so. College is a place in which you are suppose to become independent and most people can’t do this while living at home exactly like it was in high school. Most; but not all.
The worst assumption is that just because people move out of the house they are automatically an adult. I tell you this as a student with a Freshman Year GPA(As PreMed) over 3.9. About 5% of the other people living in the dorms were even close to becoming adults. A good 70-80% just wanted to leech off of their parents money, party, have sex as much as possible, drink a lot of alcohol, and never go to class. Sure; you could call me a little opinionated but pretty much being a full-grown adult since the age of sixteen can make you extremely pesstimistic about your surroundings.
It would be nice if people would move out of the house and want to grow up at the age of eighteen(Like I did). But most people don’t want this in the Colleges that I have attended. College dorm rooms are more of a giant babysitting facility than any intellectual society to say the least.
A lot of people I knew didn’t move out because they wanted to become independent; they wanted to move out so that they could avoid responsibility by living at home. But(From reading the other comments posted) how could this possibly be true?
Some of the older generation simply do not understand:
A. College is no longer what it used to be. Go on a Google search and you will see articles about how College Freshman drink more than they study. Real mature; right?
B. As a student living in a dorm room and/or an apartment there is no need to attend the lectures or class. And since many of these students aren’t paying for College(Mom and dad stiff $30,000-$40,000 per year) the students don’t care.
C. Just because someone moves out of the house at age 18 doesn’t mean they grow up. The only way they grow up is if they either get a job while attending College and/or take their education seriously. Which just happen with most students.
D. The American education system is flawed. If you can get A’s in the more difficult classes at “Top Universities” by cramming the night before then you can understand that the system has been dumbed down.
Posted by Brian on December 13, 2009 at 2:28 pm | permalink |
This sounds great and all but you must consider what degree you are graduating with. For instance, I am a sociology major and I am planning on working in the research field. “Back home with mommy” there are no job opportunities. So it’s either move home and work for $20,000 a year or move to a city and work for $60,000+. Hmm… even considering housing costs, which by the way I am affording on my own while I am at college, and my 8 credit card bills, which I am also affording on my own, and my car payment, which I am affording on my own, I’d be better off staying here and keeping my college job then moving back home to mom. It isn’t responsible to move back home in my case. It would be weakness. To write such a general article as though all college students are still kids who need to find there way and grow up is poor journalism.
Posted by Crystal on December 29, 2009 at 12:54 am | permalink |
We no longer live in post-WWII America, where everyone could afford their own house and a college degree without debt. We now have the same wealth inequality as Mexico, more than half of college students take longer than 4 years because they have to work, the average debt after college is $20,000, and the jobs are scarcer and pay much less (usually without benefits). I resent the accusations that my generation is just weaker and spoiled and unable to cope with the real world, or that we are leaches that just want to suck our hardworking parents dry. Living in family units is often smarter economically for everyone involved, and it is a small minority of the privileged or mentally ill that do their parents wrong by living with them. If you aren’t wealthy in America, it is harder now every way you look at it than it was 20 years ago, and we are adapting.
Posted by Katherine on December 29, 2009 at 1:00 pm | permalink |
Reading this article, and the comments, I felt I would share my opinions and story. I am currently a 19 year old college sophomore. I live in an apartment of campus with my boyfriend. Being financially independent as a college student is very stressful. With both my boyfriend and myself, going to school full time and only having, minimum wage, part-time jobs, we were lucky to get the opportunity to get a PLUS loan to help cover off campus housing for the school year. Recently, my boyfriend's parents proposed we move in to their finished basement. They offered to only charge us for our portion of groceries and cable. Along with offering a helping hand around the house. They are hoping that by our moving in with them, it will help us save money on all the rent and expenses we have now. Though the loan covers all those expenses, we are still going to be responsible to pay it all back along with the rising interest. Moving in with my future in laws does seem to have both its pros and cons of course. My biggest fear is that we will lose all privacy. I love having the feeling of coming home to my own place, cooking my own food, and coming and going as I please. I do not like having to rely on others to support me, that is what is making this decision even harder. After making lists of everything from what I like about moving in to everything I fear, I have decided to also get a professional opinion. I am going to meet with a financial advisor to lay down my options for either continuing to live on my own, or moving in with the in laws and begin to pay off my loans. I have decided to hold off on any decisions till July 1st (when my lease is up). I hope by then I will have received as much information and advice as possible. Even considering moving in with them is extremely hard for me, because I have always been so independent. But if it could possibly make it easier to move out right after graduation, I may be able to suck it up and do so. I have a lot to think about over the next few months but hopefully, I will make the right choice. I hope this article can help some of you see that not all of us "children of this generation" are looking for a free ride or being selfish. I know how hard it is to find jobs in this economy therefore, making it hard to live on our own. I have been lucky enough to have it covered by school but I very anxious to get it paid off as quickly as I can. Even if I cannot pay it off before graduation, I will begin my "adult life" on my own and out of my in laws basement. If this article is still around then, I will be sure to leave an updated story of my life just to prove that I do want to do what is best for me in order to start life off from the moment I get my diploma. Thank you for reading.
Posted by Kelly on January 17, 2010 at 11:12 pm | permalink |
I agree completely with this article. It makes no sense to live on your own and slave away just to make enough money to survive till the next month’s bills.
In my case, I live with my aunt and uncle. My parents who got me into a lot of financial trouble from their advice have proved no help. They said the same things that a lot of these idiots on this post say about “learning to live on your own” and “sucking it up.”
Ironically enough, I learned from my aunt and uncle that my parents got a lot of help from their moms and dads when they were starting out. Many times, they received money for help in purchasing their home or were more than happy to accept the generous gifts that they provided.
I think that it just bitterness ans spitefulness from these people who posted negatively on this board. I think the term misery loves company is best to describe these “tough love” people who have posted on here. I suffered and was miserable making it through life, so why shouldn’t you be the same as me god-d**n it!!! Well, I imagine your kids will feel much better when they ship your stingy tail off to the nursing home.
Posted by Eric M on January 26, 2010 at 5:46 pm | permalink |
Why do we want make it hard for our adult children? Why would we want anyone to incur a “hard life”? Why? Why do we expect that life is to be hard? This is bizarre and causes my head to spin in disbelief that we actually support the propaganda of life and meaning as framed by our controllers. Come on wake up! If my child was nurtured to be point of successfully completing his or her degree and then came home to fund the next phase of HIS OR HER life then good and well. I also would welcome my friends and family at any stage of their life when they required support and security.
Posted by Dean Smith on March 29, 2010 at 8:30 pm | permalink |
Not big on this type of thing, but I spotted and picked this up yesterday. As I just graduated last year it has already proved very useful. A new book called “You Have A College Degree, Now What?” http://www.amazon.com/dp/0578044048/?tag=brazecaree-20
Posted by latisha on April 15, 2010 at 11:30 am | permalink |
I see a lot of hostility to Ryan’s advice here but I don’t see anything wrong with it. It’s probably because I come from a different culture. In India children stay with parents until marriage or even all their lives. In no way does this make people irresponsible. They are able to save even as they contribute to household expenses. And in return, the children take care of their parents when they are old and retired. This takes a lot of adjustments and compromises on everybody’s part (and it’s not everybody’s cup of tea) but according to me it’s quite a good system (especially in difficult economic times).
Posted by Gauri on April 29, 2010 at 2:51 am | permalink |
Ryan, While some of your thinking reveals a sense of responsibility, such as planning ahead financially (for yourself that is), I’m not hearing the mature thinking with respect to your relationship with your parents. “Pay them rent if they ask.” Interesting perspective. As an adult, I WANT to always do my part in any given relationship, as much as possible, and preferably more than my part. I don’t want to put others in the position of needing to ask me to take my responsibility. Right off the bat, you’re trying to get away with whatever you selfishly can, and even counting ahead of time the money that will be in your pocket, instead of maturely thinking of the parent’s situation. Now of course many parents want to help their adult children in this way, but its a lot sweeter if the child realizes and wants to do his part of the responsibilities, and the parent then is able to generously relieve the burden. If the parents are “done with you and want a life of their own, don’t bother them.” I don’t think there are many parents who want to be done with their children and want “a life of their own”. But most do want their children to become adults. A characteristic of adult thinking is to have primarily a giving rather than taking way of thinking. Sometimes there is maturing that needs to take place before the adult child can live home as a functional family member, and that is generally the reason parents oppose having them live home, not they they are “done with you”.
Posted by Janet M on June 16, 2010 at 7:31 pm | permalink |
To continue my previous thoughts… this can be a responsible choice if the adult child is mature enough to pull his weight in some manner or other in taking part in the household responsibilities as well as helping to keep a positive spirit in the home. I think its healthier to broach the discussion with the expectation that as an adult you will be a significant contributor and not just a taker, rather than putting parents in the position to ask for rent or whatever other contribution works out. If for some reason or other the parents are not open to the arrangement, I don’t think its a very nice perspective to think of the parents as being “done with you.” In most cases parents very much want to maintain and grow a loving relationship with their adult children. I guess I wish Ryan you had made some reference to the relationship aspect, as some of the posters did, other than the phrase you used “sucking it up.”
Posted by Janet M on June 18, 2010 at 5:33 pm | permalink |
Honestly I think your article makes a pretty stupid point. After you have a college degree there is no excuse to not have a job. Of course your going to have to start of in a position with something you might not like but that’s life. If you do choose to move back in with your parents you SHOULD have to pay rent like any other adult would. Thinking that your entitled to everything you want in life will surely make you an a** very quickly.
Posted by Kaite on July 22, 2010 at 10:45 am | permalink |
I’m a recent graduate and do agree that moving home is a great option. Personally I have and am experiencing unemployment in this less that fruitful economy. I have no other choice than to move back or go straight into debt. Working throughout college was enough to get by but saving enough to make it through the transition period to adulthood was out of the question. I would prefer not to rely on my parents but the job market just isn’t what it was for generation x. I'm not sure about you but unemployment is at an all time high where I’m at. http://www.wral.com/business/story/6864708/
Posted by Joshua on August 1, 2010 at 11:37 am | permalink |
I know how it feels to be unemployed and out of school. Just be glad your family is understanding and helpful and be sure to let them know at certain times that you are grateful. Shoot me a line if you need someone to chat with, I know from my own experience how helpful it was to have someone who had gone through the same thing.
Posted by Eric M on August 2, 2010 at 10:21 am | permalink |
I just finished nursing school, and haven’t landed a job yet, hospitals are not hiring as often as they once were because of the economy, and my boyfriend and I are considering moving into my parent’s home for a year to try and save money to buy a home. My boyfriend works construction and makes a decent yearly salary but has college loans he is trying to pay off, so even when I do get a job saving while trying to pay rent and all of our other bills is a joke. I’m not sure if this is the greatest idea we’ve been living on our own now for almost four years while I was in college but I don’t see any other way that we are going to be able to save enough to put a down payment on a home and pay off our debt at the same time.
Posted by Jackie on August 2, 2010 at 9:37 pm | permalink |
I feel like college is the time in which you should be discovering who you are, what kind of job you want, and where you want to be. Besides, if you’re TRULY responsible, you would have done internships during college and have already made networking connections to have a well enough job post-graduation to work and live on your own, wherever you want. (: But of course, I love my parents and visiting often is a must!
Posted by Kara on August 4, 2010 at 9:19 pm | permalink |
Moving back home has not been a smooth ride. Although it is a great money saver and it does allow you to take advantage of the time being with parents to grasp onto any great advice given but it can be very difficult. After being in Puerto Rico for the last 4 years and graduating from nursing school, living at home has caused a lot of stress and tension and has resulted in depression. I am having a very difficult time getting along with my parents because of being accustomed to living on my own. My parents can be very controlling and always want to know where, what, who, how and why. It has been very frustrating. I just got out of a 2 year relationship and that adds on to the fire. But you know what? After a few sessions of counseling and having family meetings about these uncomfortable situations has reduced the tension so much. It’s how you look at the situation. You can either see it as half way empty or half way full. If you think negatively about it than you will be miserable like I was but if you work at it and think about how much your parents care for you and the fact that they let you eat their food, use up their gas and live under their roof for free… these things can be a really big blessing. Parents are just there for our best intention. If you are blessed with great parents than appreciate them because you never know when their last day on earth will be.
Posted by Jess on August 8, 2010 at 11:28 pm | permalink |
I find this to be an interesting thread to read since it started in 07 and goes up until aug of 2010. There are NO Jobs(unless dad knows someone or you are a hot women, I know many smokin ladies that dont are dumb as rocks, partied all 4 yrs w/ no extracuriculars or networking done in college, but had a job before they graduated?), then 16 million unemployed, student loans, bad advice, and to be honest the MAN wants you to go out on your own and force yourself to work entry level till you get laid off or do min wage and struggle yourself into credit card debt so he owns you forever and u will always be working off your debt. dont fight the machine, it will beat you no matter what, b/c no one will use violence or fight back the man has nothing to fear
Posted by Leonard on September 4, 2010 at 1:41 am | permalink |