Comments on: Try this: Don't ask for what you want when you negotiate

By: Career Guru Penelope Trunk: Founder of Brazen Careerist : The Next Women

Career Guru Penelope Trunk: Founder of Brazen Careerist : The Next Women — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 09:40:07 +0000

[...] of your negotiation tips is that you should not ask directly for what you want. "If you want to go into business with [...]

By: Brazen Careerist by Penelope Trunk : Foo Thoughts

Brazen Careerist by Penelope Trunk : Foo Thoughts — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 02:29:24 +0000

[...] Don't Forget What You Want When Negotiating [...]

By: Joy-Mari

Joy-Mari — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 21:13:36 +0000

This advice helped me to get a raise in salary. So it can't be all that bad.

By: Life suggestions for the brazen careerist at think maya

Life suggestions for the brazen careerist at think maya — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:22:01 +0000

[...] blog for a few years now. I discovered her when I was doing my MBA at Fisher. I have been impressed with her, bored by her, intrigued by her and even irritated with her. Some posts have even pushed [...]

By: urban planning research » Blog Archive » Roundup on Accessibility and Mobility in Transportation Planning

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 04:19:11 +0000

[...] the way, contrary to the conventional wisdom, career advice columnist/blogger Penelope Trunk says women are more comfortable with conflict than men, and that this is not always in their interest — particularly when negotiating. I would say [...]

By: Fairness at the top « Penguin unearthed

Fairness at the top « Penguin unearthed — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:47:36 +0000

[...] In my experience of managing remuneration reviews over the last five years or so, women are more likely to be at the meek end of the spectrum. Since remuneration is usually reviewed compared with what [...]

By: Joan

Joan — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 19:21:27 +0000

Well, this is certainly a wake up call. I've never been one to stand up and demand xyz and I've been told that is the reason I'm not farther ahead in my career, etc. Gee, I didn't know that I needed to ask for something completely different than what I was wanting.

By: Priyanka

Priyanka — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:40:57 +0000

Penelope,
I love your writing, especially the fact that you challenge the notions we carry about work and our lives. One thing I must disagree with you on is about whether women ask for raises in the workplace. Based only on my personal experience, I find that women DON'T ask for raises. Many of my female friends are often afraid to ask for raises or initiate a salary negotiation because they are afraid to argue with authority. In fact, when I asked for a raise at work and didn't get it, my mother (who in all other aspects of her life is very strong willed and outspoken) was worried I would be fired for asking!
However, I think your point about asking for things other than money is a great one. Suze Orman actually recommends this in her books. I think its important to rememeber how much other things like free time and control of your work matter as well.

By: MJTeegarden

MJTeegarden — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 16:53:58 +0000

I am a male and read your blog with no defensiveness at all, until reading how men often ask you for lunch when they really want sex. Of course we men want sex; this is how we are built, designed, made, or evolved (take your pick, please). Men have high levels of testosterone, which makes them (and women too, when they have higher levels) want sex very much. However, society has taught us fairly well that we are not allowed to simply approach women and ask for sex. We must approach the issue from the side, and we must prepare the woman we desire with certain socially-acceptable communications. Lunch dating is one of these. Men learn as teenagers how to negotiate for sex, which is something they (1) really want and (2) cannot easily obtain. If you have any better ideas as to how men can fulfil these needs, please publish – you will become quite rich, I predict, quite famous, and also quite reviled (conservative society does not want sex to be more easily obtained). You are correct, I believe, in the rest of your blog – men learn early to negotiate for what they really want (and after their teenage years, they learn to apply those skills for other things, such as business purposes). And men also expect women to negotiate less; we are somewhat surprised when women turn out to be equal or better than us in negotiations. We respond defensively with dismissively negative attitudes, such as "she is a bitch," but this does not really help us negotiate with the next strong woman we meet.

By: Vincent

Vincent — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 08:20:39 +0000

I laughed when I read the section about salary negotiations. I laughed because I just went through this with my boss (a woman) who asked me what I thought was fair when I tried to keep from giving her a number. I must say after a brief exchange over salary but neither of us giving a number, she broke down and gave a number. She had a meeting to rush off to. :-)