Comments on: Racism at work, and why it doesn't work to just say no

By: Brokers

Brokers — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 18:31:26 +0000

Say "no" to racism not even at work!

By: Evans

Evans — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 16:29:13 +0000

And I agree with the columnist that the comment was racist. Whether its true or not its racist because the caller is making it seem like just because she is a black woman that its ok for her to date someone she supervises because its soo hard to find a decent black man. Its hard for everyone to find a boyfriend or girlfriend not just us as black people. And I'm an african american man thats has a college degree so I would be considered a decent guy. But I wouldn't date someone supervising me. If its hard to find someone just go out to meet people, and meet people through friends, try online dating, etc.

By: Adeta

Adeta — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 02:31:22 +0000

Hi Penelope,

I really enjoy reading your blog each week. As a African-American woman, I was a bit hesitant to open this post "Racism at work, and why it doesn’t work to just say no". I didn't want the post to change my opinion about you, but I am glad that I read it.

I believe you handled the radio situation wonderfully. While it is important to "speak up when something is racist" as you said yourself. I believe that in this specific situation it was best for you professionally to not engage in that dialog. From my personal experience, I believe that caller was intentionally trying to create trouble and if you had chosen that instance to stand up it would have done more harm than good.

Cudos to you for writing about this experience in your blog and Congrats on your new company. I look forward to reading your future posts.

By: Mike Hobart

Mike Hobart — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 13:17:40 +0000

Re "Yahoo comments" — I used to glance at the comments section on news sites now and again but I gave it up because the comments were almost uniformly insane. I remember when novelist Arthur Hailey died one comment read (I'm not making this up) "I hope the devil is raping his ass in hell." Now what sort of bottled-up anger could make someone write that about a person they'd presumably never met? I have no idea.

By: Does your silence mean consent? « ProcrastinatioNation

Does your silence mean consent? « ProcrastinatioNation — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 12:06:36 +0000

[...] She writes: So we were going through that routine. The topic was presidential candidates and I said I love Michelle Obama because she is not constrained by societal expectations. Then I talked about how she dated Barack when she was supervising him. I also talked about how she recently quit her huge job as an attorney in order to take care of her family during the campaign, even when the baby boomer media is still complaining about women who do this; Michelle didn’t care. [...]

By: luis

luis — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 05:04:31 +0000

im pretty sure if you got past your liberal views you would understand that unfortunately a disproportionately large share of the young black male population ends up spending time in jail. that isnt racism but a fact and most women (or men) of any color dont want to be dating a person who has had that type of past.

By: Marcia

Marcia — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:42:44 +0000

Have to agree with many of the posters here that "…there are so few good black men to date.” is not a racist comment. Well, it may be a racist comment, but it's not a racist slur. I have heard many black women say that this is a definite problem for them. This is not new, and has been going on for 20-30 years (that I'm aware of). In fact, some of them are angry that white women are dating/marrying black men because there are so few "good ones", and the white women are taking them. How do I know all this? I get my hair cut in a salon run by a black woman with mostly black clientele (sp?) Trust me, you find out all kinds of stuff in a salon.

By: Ceptera Information Security

Ceptera Information Security — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 04:39:42 +0000

Hooray for not being afraid to write what you did. Even though you didn't say what you thought during the radio broadcast, I'm happier that you wrote your feelings in this blog. As a black man, I feel like we get a bad rap. I'm married, but I've heard the "There aren't any good black men" line more times than I care to remember. I'd bet the women who make that comment don't think about where they are attracting these no-good men. They also don't think about how dangerous it is to make such wild claims so easily. For example, say you're a white woman and you don't interact with black guys very often. But you happen to have a few black "work friends." Let's during lunch you've often heard them lament the absence of good black men. After hearing that for 100 times, even the most free-thinking, rational person might start to believe there's some truth to it. So your opinion about black men may be tainted even though you don't have any personal experience with them. Well, when you leave your work friends and go hang out with your girlfriends, you may repeat the stuff you've heard at lunch. Now, you've affected your friends' opinion about black guys. It goes on from there.

Hopefully you'll stay true to what you wrote and address straight away that kind of ignorance whenever you hear/read/observe it. That's the only way we can the frank discussions needed to move everyone forward…together.

By: Shefaly

Shefaly — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 13:46:26 +0000

The male caller said: "…there are so few good black men to date..".

We do not know about the caller's race or his sexuality. But, of the 3 main descriptors he used – good, black, men – the host and Ms Trunk focus on one i.e. 'black'. And this whole debate about racism ensues.

Why is this not a debate about the other 2 factors which outnumber 1 factor by 100%?

Is it that people are over-sensitive about some key issues, especially since they were discussing a high profile black couple?

Why is this not a discussion about how hard it is to find decent people of ANY kind nowadays, to date and/ or to marry, if the laments of some eternally eligible yet single people are anything to go by?

Many young friends I have in America's cosmopolitan cities will date anyone, who is decent and well-educated, well-mannered and civilised. Race for them enters into the equation much later, if at all, and usually when parents get involved. Or is there some other understanding about dating in American society implied in this discussion that I as a naive 'foreigner' might be missing?

By: MarilynJean

MarilynJean — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 23:56:48 +0000

Black women are gaining (and in some cases outnumbering Black men) in areas like education and employment. The point about class makes sense, but the whole "good" Black men conversation is not about class, or what constitute's "good". It's about the availability of the "good" men in question. There are plenty of Baracks running around, but are they available to all the Michelles who may be looking for them?

Remember when Joe Biden said, "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy"? Now, that was racist.

This post really has me thinking and I still can't fault Penelope (or anyone for that matter) for not engaging in a debate with the caller.