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	<title>Comments on: How to be likable to people who are complaining about you</title>
	<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/</link>
	<description>Advice at the intersection of work and life</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 16 May 2008 04:04:19 +0000</pubDate>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3</generator>
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		<title>By: Will you get promoted? Take the test &#187; Brazen Careerist by Penelope Trunk</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-146464</link>
		<dc:creator>Will you get promoted? Take the test &#187; Brazen Careerist by Penelope Trunk</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:07:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-146464</guid>
		<description>[...] you remember the last time you initiated a conversation with someone who dislikes you? Give yourself a point for good office politics and a point for [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[&#8230;] you remember the last time you initiated a conversation with someone who dislikes you? Give yourself a point for good office politics and a point for [&#8230;]</p>
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		<title>By: Dale</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-135790</link>
		<dc:creator>Dale</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Feb 2008 15:01:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-135790</guid>
		<description>Farah,

I do not know you, so what I say may be of no value, but it's a starting point.

Perhaps you should begin TODAY by listening more and offering opinions, criticism, etc "more judiciously" than you have in the past - or even only when directly asked.  

When appropriate, ask people questions about themselves or their loved ones or their work, BUT, you must be genuinely interested in their answers!  Do NOT give opinions unless asked and try to foster relaxed conversations as opposed to what may be viewed as long winded gossiping or snooping!  If you learn something to be concerned about during the talk, offer sympathy more through facial expression, or with body language, i.e. nonverbally, rather than verbally.

Also, smile more.  It is hard for someone to not respond to a really  heart felt smile.

Just my two cents:)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Farah,</p>
<p>I do not know you, so what I say may be of no value, but it&#8217;s a starting point.</p>
<p>Perhaps you should begin TODAY by listening more and offering opinions, criticism, etc &#8220;more judiciously&#8221; than you have in the past - or even only when directly asked.  </p>
<p>When appropriate, ask people questions about themselves or their loved ones or their work, BUT, you must be genuinely interested in their answers!  Do NOT give opinions unless asked and try to foster relaxed conversations as opposed to what may be viewed as long winded gossiping or snooping!  If you learn something to be concerned about during the talk, offer sympathy more through facial expression, or with body language, i.e. nonverbally, rather than verbally.</p>
<p>Also, smile more.  It is hard for someone to not respond to a really  heart felt smile.</p>
<p>Just my two cents:)</p>
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		<title>By: Farah</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-135764</link>
		<dc:creator>Farah</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:30:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-135764</guid>
		<description>HI

MY NAME IS FARAH,I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE IN HEALTHCARE MENEGEMNET. I AM VERY PASSIONATE WORKER ,VERY BRILLIANT AND VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT MY SKILLS. HOWEVERE MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS IS I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE POPULAR AND MAKE FRIENDS. I CAME WITH HIGH AMBITIONS IN MY WORK PLACE AND DID SOME AMAZING WORK ALSO. BUT MY LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS HAVE TAKEN ME TO A POSITION WHERE MY BOSS IS NOT HAPPY WITH ME AND HE HAS TAKEN ALL POWERS TO DO ANY WORK FROM ME AND I HAVE BECOME A VICTOM OF OFFICE POLITCS. SOMEONE REPORTED TO OWNER THAT I AM BADMOUTHING ABOUT THE ORGANIZATION  AND MY EXPLIANATION WAS BEING CALLED.(WHICH OFCOURSE I HAVE NEVER DONE) . I KNOW AOUT MY COMPETENCY AT WORK AND WEAKNESS AT MAKING FRIENDS BUT I DONT KNOW HOE TO BE BE LIKABLE.....ANY READER OR AUTHOR IF YOU CAN HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE POST A REPLY THAT HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS MESS.......</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>HI</p>
<p>MY NAME IS FARAH,I HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE IN HEALTHCARE MENEGEMNET. I AM VERY PASSIONATE WORKER ,VERY BRILLIANT AND VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT MY SKILLS. HOWEVERE MY BIGGEST WEAKNESS IS I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE POPULAR AND MAKE FRIENDS. I CAME WITH HIGH AMBITIONS IN MY WORK PLACE AND DID SOME AMAZING WORK ALSO. BUT MY LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS HAVE TAKEN ME TO A POSITION WHERE MY BOSS IS NOT HAPPY WITH ME AND HE HAS TAKEN ALL POWERS TO DO ANY WORK FROM ME AND I HAVE BECOME A VICTOM OF OFFICE POLITCS. SOMEONE REPORTED TO OWNER THAT I AM BADMOUTHING ABOUT THE ORGANIZATION  AND MY EXPLIANATION WAS BEING CALLED.(WHICH OFCOURSE I HAVE NEVER DONE) . I KNOW AOUT MY COMPETENCY AT WORK AND WEAKNESS AT MAKING FRIENDS BUT I DONT KNOW HOE TO BE BE LIKABLE&#8230;..ANY READER OR AUTHOR IF YOU CAN HELP ME PLEASE PLEASE POST A REPLY THAT HOW CAN I GET OUT OF THIS MESS&#8230;&#8230;.</p>
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		<title>By: trans union credit card bureau</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-111995</link>
		<dc:creator>trans union credit card bureau</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Nov 2007 05:13:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-111995</guid>
		<description>&lt;strong&gt;trans union credit card bureau...&lt;/strong&gt;

crumples diligently.apart decencies excessive comparatives ...</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>trans union credit card bureau&#8230;</strong></p>
<p>crumples diligently.apart decencies excessive comparatives &#8230;</p>
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		<title>By: Zandria</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105629</link>
		<dc:creator>Zandria</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Aug 2007 02:35:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105629</guid>
		<description>I attended the BlogHer panel where you spoke, and I enjoyed it.  It's okay to be short and direct; you had limited time to talk and were able to get to many questions that way.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I attended the BlogHer panel where you spoke, and I enjoyed it.  It&#8217;s okay to be short and direct; you had limited time to talk and were able to get to many questions that way.</p>
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		<title>By: Cómo hacer que los trabajadores se sientan a gusto en sus trabajos</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105527</link>
		<dc:creator>Cómo hacer que los trabajadores se sientan a gusto en sus trabajos</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Aug 2007 19:51:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105527</guid>
		<description>[...] &#124; Blog de Penélope Trunk En El Blog Salmón &#124; Lo que impacta la motivación de los trabajadores y La calidad laboral [...]</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>[&#8230;] | Blog de Penélope Trunk En El Blog Salmón | Lo que impacta la motivación de los trabajadores y La calidad laboral [&#8230;]</p>
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		<title>By: Mary</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105432</link>
		<dc:creator>Mary</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Aug 2007 19:42:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105432</guid>
		<description>My experience in attending these panel thingies is that the audience wants two things:

1. Good rule-of-thumb advice from insiders during the general session, backed-up by good take-aways.

2. Reassurance, encouragement, and a little friendly advice in response to specific questions.

And that's really about it. People feel extremely vulnerable asking questions in front of a small group, let alone a packed audience. No one wants to be shot down in the public eye. Your goal is to have the audience appreciate what you've said, rather than be upset about how you've said it--so, yeah, changing your short and direct style might be good. Your message can be the same, just delivered with a little more empathy.

Not everyone is as tough as me!

Cheers--</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My experience in attending these panel thingies is that the audience wants two things:</p>
<p>1. Good rule-of-thumb advice from insiders during the general session, backed-up by good take-aways.</p>
<p>2. Reassurance, encouragement, and a little friendly advice in response to specific questions.</p>
<p>And that&#8217;s really about it. People feel extremely vulnerable asking questions in front of a small group, let alone a packed audience. No one wants to be shot down in the public eye. Your goal is to have the audience appreciate what you&#8217;ve said, rather than be upset about how you&#8217;ve said it&#8211;so, yeah, changing your short and direct style might be good. Your message can be the same, just delivered with a little more empathy.</p>
<p>Not everyone is as tough as me!</p>
<p>Cheers&#8211;</p>
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		<title>By: Jim Escoe</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105417</link>
		<dc:creator>Jim Escoe</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:57:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105417</guid>
		<description>Couldn't agree with your more.  The thing that most folks forget (myself included) is that its not good enough to be a likable person, you really have to be out there forming and enforcing relationships in big organizations.  Otherwise, sad as it seems, the default is to assume the worst when someone doesn't understand or agree with your positions

Excellent article!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Couldn&#8217;t agree with your more.  The thing that most folks forget (myself included) is that its not good enough to be a likable person, you really have to be out there forming and enforcing relationships in big organizations.  Otherwise, sad as it seems, the default is to assume the worst when someone doesn&#8217;t understand or agree with your positions</p>
<p>Excellent article!</p>
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		<title>By: Billy Bjorn</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105407</link>
		<dc:creator>Billy Bjorn</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Aug 2007 16:25:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105407</guid>
		<description>Seems like most of your fans are male, and it seems like more males agree that you have to be a toughie in the workplace and do what you want. 

I think your advice is good. It’s true to how a workplace should cater to the ‘workers’ – and those ladies who commented that, “if I followed her advice I’d be collecting unemployment”, just might be working in the wrong atmosphere. 

But you remind me of my older brother, and I feel this being the younger, you’re a little bit patronizing. Maybe you’ve had the luck to be able to take your own advice, which is comforting, but not all people are that lucky – and some have to adhere to certain crappy ways in a crappy workplace to keep a job and feed the mouths at home. Right? I like your advice cause it’s stuff that I can relate to and follow. I’m writing and reading your work at my work, and I could put my shoes on if I wanted to and step out for 30 mins if I really wanted to also. When I tell people that, they just think I’m a douche who’s going to get fired soon. 

In the end: good work and keep being yourself cause I know you will be. Soon I’ll be linking my name here to a blog of my own. I’m just starting some work, and trying to hone in on a real, consistent and interesting overall topic and theme for the blog. 

CYA!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Seems like most of your fans are male, and it seems like more males agree that you have to be a toughie in the workplace and do what you want. </p>
<p>I think your advice is good. It’s true to how a workplace should cater to the ‘workers’ – and those ladies who commented that, “if I followed her advice I’d be collecting unemployment”, just might be working in the wrong atmosphere. </p>
<p>But you remind me of my older brother, and I feel this being the younger, you’re a little bit patronizing. Maybe you’ve had the luck to be able to take your own advice, which is comforting, but not all people are that lucky – and some have to adhere to certain crappy ways in a crappy workplace to keep a job and feed the mouths at home. Right? I like your advice cause it’s stuff that I can relate to and follow. I’m writing and reading your work at my work, and I could put my shoes on if I wanted to and step out for 30 mins if I really wanted to also. When I tell people that, they just think I’m a douche who’s going to get fired soon. </p>
<p>In the end: good work and keep being yourself cause I know you will be. Soon I’ll be linking my name here to a blog of my own. I’m just starting some work, and trying to hone in on a real, consistent and interesting overall topic and theme for the blog. </p>
<p>CYA!!</p>
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		<title>By: Dale</title>
		<link>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105396</link>
		<dc:creator>Dale</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Aug 2007 14:23:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid>http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/08/01/how-to-be-likable-to-people-who-are-complaining-about-you/#comment-105396</guid>
		<description>I don't understand why the attendees at Blogher were incensed at what you had to say.  It was your opinion, not you laying down the law.  As with everything you do, it stimulated discussion, but I wonder why that discourse did not occur there, in the room, instead of after the fact away from the event?
Did you feel any of the tension at the event?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don&#8217;t understand why the attendees at Blogher were incensed at what you had to say.  It was your opinion, not you laying down the law.  As with everything you do, it stimulated discussion, but I wonder why that discourse did not occur there, in the room, instead of after the fact away from the event?<br />
Did you feel any of the tension at the event?</p>
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