Comments on: The unimportance of being right (growing up in a colorblind family) http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Fri, 08 Aug 2008 18:44:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: LaDawn http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96338 LaDawn Wed, 27 Jun 2007 18:42:46 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96338 People who are arguing about colour blindness in the comments are missing the point of the post which is somewhat ironic because that is the point of the post. It is more important to be happy not right. People who are arguing about colour blindness in the comments are missing the point of the post which is somewhat ironic because that is the point of the post.

It is more important to be happy not right.

]]> By: Dave http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96255 Dave Wed, 27 Jun 2007 14:15:26 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96255 I don't have time to debate the rightness of being right, but I wanted to note that color blindness does not necessarily mean people cannot see colors! I am red green color blind and when I tell people this, I get the usual questions about how do I drive, etc. Only a small fraction of people have that problem. For most color blind people, it is a question of degree. If I wash a load of whites with a red sock, I might not notice that the whites come out a little pink. But I can tell the sock is red. And that dark green turtleneck looked black to me in the closet this morning...but in the bright sun...oops! I don’t have time to debate the rightness of being right, but I wanted to note that color blindness does not necessarily mean people cannot see colors! I am red green color blind and when I tell people this, I get the usual questions about how do I drive, etc. Only a small fraction of people have that problem. For most color blind people, it is a question of degree. If I wash a load of whites with a red sock, I might not notice that the whites come out a little pink. But I can tell the sock is red. And that dark green turtleneck looked black to me in the closet this morning…but in the bright sun…oops!

]]> By: Suze http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96247 Suze Wed, 27 Jun 2007 13:30:39 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96247 Interesting and timely for me. I have been training myself to BACK OFF of people for the past couple of months, particularly those whose driving habits annoy me. I had an "a ha!" moment where I realized that I make just as many driving errors as anyone else and if I don't want to be judged by the worst things I do, why am I judging others that way? You know what? I'm a lot happier and more tranquil. * * * * * <em>Thanks for sharing this, Suze. This is a great example of how self-knowledge comes, I think. How we get small insights into ourselves  and they just keep adding up, over time, as long as we're open to seeing them.</em> <em>Penelope</em> Interesting and timely for me. I have been training myself to BACK OFF of people for the past couple of months, particularly those whose driving habits annoy me. I had an “a ha!” moment where I realized that I make just as many driving errors as anyone else and if I don’t want to be judged by the worst things I do, why am I judging others that way?

You know what? I’m a lot happier and more tranquil.

* * * * *

Thanks for sharing this, Suze. This is a great example of how self-knowledge comes, I think. How we get small insights into ourselves  and they just keep adding up, over time, as long as we’re open to seeing them.

Penelope

]]> By: Andrey http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96181 Andrey Wed, 27 Jun 2007 10:14:28 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96181 I like the writing! First of all, it doesnt' matter how people see the world around, you're right. What matters is the consequences, and if they are not gloomy or harmfulm there is no need to insist you are right. On the other hand, sometimes it helps us know something that other people see in a different way. It can be an eye-opening experience, I would say. At last, we ourselves sometimes can be a 'color-blinded'. And there is no need to be unhappy or make unhappy people surrounding us. This part is well explained at www.andreyavail.wordpress.com - today's post. I like the writing!
First of all, it doesnt’ matter how people see the world around, you’re right. What matters is the consequences, and if they are not gloomy or harmfulm there is no need to insist you are right.
On the other hand, sometimes it helps us know something that other people see in a different way. It can be an eye-opening experience, I would say.
At last, we ourselves sometimes can be a ‘color-blinded’.
And there is no need to be unhappy or make unhappy people surrounding us. This part is well explained at http://www.andreyavail.wordpress.com - today’s post.

]]> By: Neil Fitzgerald http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96125 Neil Fitzgerald Wed, 27 Jun 2007 08:01:34 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96125 In the UK, the green light contains blue so that it is easier to see for colour blind people. Non colour blind people only see it as green though. In the UK, the green light contains blue so that it is easier to see for colour blind people. Non colour blind people only see it as green though.

]]> By: Michelle http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96035 Michelle Wed, 27 Jun 2007 03:29:49 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-96035 A very enjoyable antidote, using family problems to highlight business ones. To add on to what you said, much of business (or all?) is not based on rightness but on positive interaction. Even though I'm receiving better grades at my state university (which has comparable business programs) than some of my peers at a private university, they have more opportunities to network and thus the rightness of my better grades lose value. While I may have an urge to tell off others, I just ask "Is my making them aware helpful to the situation?" A very enjoyable antidote, using family problems to highlight business ones. To add on to what you said, much of business (or all?) is not based on rightness but on positive interaction. Even though I’m receiving better grades at my state university (which has comparable business programs) than some of my peers at a private university, they have more opportunities to network and thus the rightness of my better grades lose value. While I may have an urge to tell off others, I just ask “Is my making them aware helpful to the situation?”

]]> By: Caitlin http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95874 Caitlin Tue, 26 Jun 2007 21:45:31 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95874 Wow, it’s really unusual for a woman to be colour blind. It means your mum must have inherited a faulty X chromosome from both her parents. The X chromosome is the one that carries colour blindness and also many other genetic conditions such as haemophilia. Usually in a woman the other X chromosome will be fine and the body will use the genetic coding of the healthy X chromosome so the colour blindness will not manifest. Whereas in a man, he has one X chromosome and one Y chromosome and since the Y chromosome is shorter, there is no corresponding healthy genetic material for the body to use. I am sure you already know this but there is a very strong possibility that you are a carrier, so you would be wise to make sure your children are tested. (I think I’m remembering my high school biology correctly but if there are any geneticists or actual scientists out there, feel free to correct me if I’ve got this wrong.) I think most people with colour blindness can manage it just fine though I do actually know someone who refuses to drive a car because he believes his colour-blindness would make it dangerous. That’s not really an option in most places in the US but it is in Sydney, Australia, where he lives. I never heard of traffic lights that have just the one globe to turn three colours though - that *does* sound dangerous! But I think it’s the traffic lights that should be changed, not the licensing of colour-blind drivers. I have to admit that the number one thing I can’t stand is when I know I’m right and other people are wrong and they just can’t accept it. When I was 15 or so I used to get upset about anything - for example if somebody was insisting that Toronto was the capital of Canada and I knew it was Ottawa, or if someone wouldn’t accept that a tomato was really a fruit in a biological sense. One of the hardest things in life has been learning to manage that. I’m a lot more wise to baiting and I might engage in banter or debate but will try not to take it seriously. I can still get upset if it’s something I really care about though - I get wound up over certain issues like the environment. Someone once said to me that "what's right is not always what's best" and that's so true. Wow, it’s really unusual for a woman to be colour blind. It means your mum must have inherited a faulty X chromosome from both her parents. The X chromosome is the one that carries colour blindness and also many other genetic conditions such as haemophilia. Usually in a woman the other X chromosome will be fine and the body will use the genetic coding of the healthy X chromosome so the colour blindness will not manifest. Whereas in a man, he has one X chromosome and one Y chromosome and since the Y chromosome is shorter, there is no corresponding healthy genetic material for the body to use. I am sure you already know this but there is a very strong possibility that you are a carrier, so you would be wise to make sure your children are tested. (I think I’m remembering my high school biology correctly but if there are any geneticists or actual scientists out there, feel free to correct me if I’ve got this wrong.)

I think most people with colour blindness can manage it just fine though I do actually know someone who refuses to drive a car because he believes his colour-blindness would make it dangerous. That’s not really an option in most places in the US but it is in Sydney, Australia, where he lives. I never heard of traffic lights that have just the one globe to turn three colours though - that *does* sound dangerous! But I think it’s the traffic lights that should be changed, not the licensing of colour-blind drivers.

I have to admit that the number one thing I can’t stand is when I know I’m right and other people are wrong and they just can’t accept it. When I was 15 or so I used to get upset about anything - for example if somebody was insisting that Toronto was the capital of Canada and I knew it was Ottawa, or if someone wouldn’t accept that a tomato was really a fruit in a biological sense.

One of the hardest things in life has been learning to manage that. I’m a lot more wise to baiting and I might engage in banter or debate but will try not to take it seriously. I can still get upset if it’s something I really care about though - I get wound up over certain issues like the environment. Someone once said to me that “what’s right is not always what’s best” and that’s so true.

]]> By: laurence haughton http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95846 laurence haughton Tue, 26 Jun 2007 20:20:51 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95846 Great advice, "keep your eye on what really matters and let the rest go." I found myself so focused on how right I was and how wrong others were that I often closed my eyes to any evidence that didn't reinforce my feelings of being right. I learned later that my inability to hear or see any "disconfirming" evidence made me less effective as a business writer and leader. Letting go has helped me. BTW I think they also vary the intensity of red, green, and yellow traffic lights to help the colorblind distinguish the signal. Great advice, “keep your eye on what really matters and let the rest go.”

I found myself so focused on how right I was and how wrong others were that I often closed my eyes to any evidence that didn’t reinforce my feelings of being right. I learned later that my inability to hear or see any “disconfirming” evidence made me less effective as a business writer and leader.
Letting go has helped me.

BTW I think they also vary the intensity of red, green, and yellow traffic lights to help the colorblind distinguish the signal.

]]> By: Phil http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95843 Phil Tue, 26 Jun 2007 20:17:22 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95843 Great insight. As it applies to my particular situation, I work for a non-profit organization fighting for improvements in the low-income neighborhoods of our city. Our goal is to build a powerful organization that empowers neighborhood residents to advocate for themselves. As such, it really doesn't matter what issue we work on or even what tactics we use. The process of building the organization is what is important. Still, it is often difficult to avoid arguments over strategy. As an organizer, I need to learn to let go of preconceptions of right and wrong and focus instead on what will help residents become more active. Thanks! Great insight. As it applies to my particular situation, I work for a non-profit organization fighting for improvements in the low-income neighborhoods of our city. Our goal is to build a powerful organization that empowers neighborhood residents to advocate for themselves. As such, it really doesn’t matter what issue we work on or even what tactics we use. The process of building the organization is what is important.

Still, it is often difficult to avoid arguments over strategy. As an organizer, I need to learn to let go of preconceptions of right and wrong and focus instead on what will help residents become more active.

Thanks!

]]> By: Dale http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95812 Dale Tue, 26 Jun 2007 18:54:24 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/06/26/the-unimportance-of-being-right-growing-up-in-a-colorblind-family/#comment-95812 The most important message I receive from this post is that despite the fact that I may differ from others in significant or minor ways, I need to focus on the task rather than points of contention that make for disagreement. This advice is excellent when the disputed "point/s" is/are innocuous, or when one in inevitably bound to the situation or "those" people. But as with everything, for some of us, the answer to this situation depends upon where it exists on the continuum of extremity. For example, I can agree to disagree with someone who holds divergent political views, but when the issue is of greater personal or other import, I think that things do become dire. In my youth I saw a manager verbally abuse a fellow employee for a simple infraction - not showing a wine bottle to a newly seated table, in a restaurant where we served. The situation did not involve me, but as someone who had been verbally abused all my life before that incident, I could/would not let it pass. Consequently I did "things" to show my disgust, and rebel, knowing that I would not be penalized as I was considered too valuable to lose - I worked like a sled-dog on steroids:). This simple example shows that as with all things, one's response to a situation is often dependent upon the perceived magnitude of the situation. And when we are personally vested in that circumstance, our perception/objectivity becomes somewhat suspect. Just my thoughts. The most important message I receive from this post is that despite the fact that I may differ from others in significant or minor ways, I need to focus on the task rather than points of contention that make for disagreement. This advice is excellent when the disputed “point/s” is/are innocuous, or when one in inevitably bound to the situation or “those” people. But as with everything, for some of us, the answer to this situation depends upon where it exists on the continuum of extremity. For example, I can agree to disagree with someone who holds divergent political views, but when the issue is of greater personal or other import, I think that things do become dire. In my youth I saw a manager verbally abuse a fellow employee for a simple infraction - not showing a wine bottle to a newly seated table, in a restaurant where we served.
The situation did not involve me, but as someone who had been verbally abused all my life before that incident, I could/would not let it pass. Consequently I did “things” to show my disgust, and rebel, knowing that I would not be penalized as I was considered too valuable to lose - I worked like a sled-dog on steroids:).
This simple example shows that as with all things, one’s response to a situation is often dependent upon the perceived magnitude of the situation. And when we are personally vested in that circumstance, our perception/objectivity becomes somewhat suspect. Just my thoughts.

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