Comments on: Promotions are more stressful than divorce

By: Steve Delaney

Steve Delaney — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 13:05:29 +0000

I wonder if this theory holds true today?

-sd

By: JC

JC — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 17:09:30 +0000

Hey Penelope, I loved this article. But I was wondering how conscientiousness is a bad trait for a leader? Is it because they might become too demanding or a micromanager?

* * * * * *
Yes. And because conscientiousness is not something you can focus on when you are delegating. Leading, teaching, having a vision — those things are more compatible with delegating.

–Penelope

By: What is a rewarding career and how you can get one - the new definition - Jarkko Laine - Insanely interested

Tue, 31 Jul 2007 04:06:37 +0000

[…] I started thinking about careers like this, I'm much more relaxed: I don't have to be fighting for promotions or getting the most attention at work. My life is about so much more. This job is just one part in […]

By: Les

Les — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 15:07:03 +0000

Your "blending my kids" article starts with a typical description of a 2-parent 2-job family situation and ends with an atypical whining, on your part, about life being difficult. Welcome to the real every day world for many of us. The posting by Martha O'Mara was right on target. We are balancing disposable income, careers and family. Few 2 parent families with 2 jobs make more after paying for child care than 2 parent families with only 1 job. We do it to keep 2 careers moving forward while balancing work and home expectations. It's a stressful condition in part because we value each other's abilities and aspirations outside the home.

By: Martha O'Mara

Martha O'Mara — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 10:12:15 +0000

Penelope - I enjoy your writing immensely but on todays column about "blending kids" all I can say is get a grip and get out your checkbook. There is nothing you can do but hire more help. I was professor at Harvard for 9 years, have 3 kids, wrote my book the year I nursed my twins, published it when they were two and did the whole book interview lecture thing. The truth is you cannot get work done at home when you have small kids there - end of story. You can pullit off when they are babies (I'd nurse my daughter in my office between lectures at Harvard, leaving her with a college student while I was in class.) It all cost a fortune but it is the only way. Right now you have to run your career and your kids in parallel - you'd can't put things off or do then half-assed now - this is your moment with the book. Childcare is an investment in your career, spend the money. You won't regret it when 10 years later you look at your bank account and realize you are ahead of most Americans because you have something in it due to the career you have built during these critical years. (Those women who did kids and then wnet to work all had them in their early 20s - it is a myth that you can do one and wait on the other). I could go on but I have an early flight to SF and a college girl showing up at 6:45 to get my kids to the bus. $16 an hour and worth every penny.
Also, kids need you much more when they are OLDER, which is a topic I could go on endlessly about.
Best of luck -you deserve it!!!!!

By: Cowboy Caleb – Promotions are more stressful than divorce

Cowboy Caleb – Promotions are more stressful than divorce — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 00:22:08 +0000

[…] Promotions are more stressful than divorce - here are reasons why. […]

By: John

John — Thu, 31 May 2007 20:42:17 +0000

What Hogan says is true,“Managers are rarely promoted based on their talent for leadership", but for the wrong reasons. We continue to use the two characteristics interchangeably. Management is a skill the knowledge for which can be acquired and is characterized by such things as organizational ability, planning,controlling, monitoring, budgeting etc. Leadership on the otherhand is a talent involving charisma, social and emotional skills needed to get people to do what you want them to do because they trust you, believe you, are awed by you or fear you, to name a few. Our corporate society believes good performers (salespeople, accountants, marketers, engineers)make good managers, and good managers make good leaders. Nothing is further from the truth. This is why promotions wreak havoc on individuals. The stress is created when they are asked to be something they are not.

By: Terry

Terry — Tue, 29 May 2007 17:13:33 +0000

Have seen talented friends get promoted or change jobs for an excellent position only to be totally stressed out in no time at all. But it is their fault. They don’t know how to delegate or say no. So the new position or company or boss takes advantage of these weaknesses and unintentionally squeezes these star performers into dry lemons. Make damn sure you know how to delegate and say no to the execs.

By: Mark

Mark — Tue, 29 May 2007 17:07:01 +0000

Want screwed up pay scales try working in the public sector.

Time and time again I've seen great managers and administrators work up the pay scale and seen them begrudgingly finally paid somewhat better and guess what happens when they quit or retire? The inexperienced person hired to replace them sits down in the chair making exactly what the person they are replacing made and more often than not, that is the top of the pay scale meaning no raises for good performance. A fourth to a third of the promoted will wash out (fired, reassigned, or will bail out knowing the handwriting is on the wall) but the day they leave they were making the same as their peer managers with a track history of stellar performance.

For the line employees it isn't uncommon for a 15 year veteran with highly specialized skills and highly valued institutional knowledge to watch as the untrained newbies come in and make 95%, 96% of what they are making, sometimes even 100%.

During my time of public service I saw burnout rates far worse than private sector because at some point along the way the realization hits that there is no difference between excelling and doing the minimum. Some just flameout and hang on, others keep slogging along in hope of a promotion, and others just consider their time in government paid training and head out to make a living in the private sector, often exploiting the problems they identified that no one would listen to.

By: Matt M

Matt M — Tue, 29 May 2007 16:22:36 +0000

Penelope,
Fantastic post. I have had very similar views on promotions for a few years but thought that I was the only one or that it was just based on my experiences. I have worked at many jobs where I would not want my boss's job. I have worked at a few where the promotions were good but those were rare. Thanks for writing about this issue.
-Matt