Comments on: Book Excerpt: How to give a compliment http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:30:57 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Trusted Advisor » The First Carnival of Trust http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-239542 Trusted Advisor » The First Carnival of Trust Thu, 16 Dec 2010 19:49:19 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-239542 [...] the intersection of truth-telling and sincerity, Penelope Trunk talks about the fine art of giving compliments. There is much at [...] [...] the intersection of truth-telling and sincerity, Penelope Trunk talks about the fine art of giving compliments. There is much at [...]

]]> By: Jonha http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-225701 Jonha Thu, 08 Apr 2010 01:51:08 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-225701 I do not usually compliment people when I see them unless I really feel the need to and it's good to learn about how to compliment your boss too, not because you want to be promoted or something, but a genuine one that will help build a genuine relationship. Thanks Penelope! Jonha I do not usually compliment people when I see them unless I really feel the need to and it's good to learn about how to compliment your boss too, not because you want to be promoted or something, but a genuine one that will help build a genuine relationship. Thanks Penelope!

Jonha

]]> By: wefgwe http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-179819 wefgwe Fri, 23 Jan 2009 16:47:24 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-179819 Aaaand you did not read the whole article, did you? Well, it's a very good comment for not reading the stuff ;) Aaaand you did not read the whole article, did you?

Well, it's a very good comment for not reading the stuff ;)

]]> By: Ariellah http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-179719 Ariellah Wed, 21 Jan 2009 20:44:46 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-179719 Thanks for an interesting and relevant post.(Honest compliment) Everyone needs a compliment, it is away of acknowledging who you are and the way you do things. As Mark Twain said "i can live two months on a good compliment". But saying that he also suggested "Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable" Thanks for an interesting and relevant post.(Honest compliment)
Everyone needs a compliment, it is away of acknowledging who you are and the way you do things.
As Mark Twain said "i can live two months on a good compliment". But saying that he also suggested "Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable"

]]> By: Grant Czerepak http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-179694 Grant Czerepak Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:41:31 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-179694 Being genuine in your compliments is something that takes practice like anything else. Dale Carnegie laid that out at the turn of the last century. And a compliment does not have to be praise, it can also be a genuine concern for another person's well being. Take Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and see that each need is addressed from the bottom of the hierarchy to the top with an honest question if the need is addressed and a compliment regarding the need: 1. Please sit down can I get you anything to eat or drink? 2. Should we close the door so we are not disturbed? 3. How is your spouse and family? 4. Are you being respected for your education and experience? 6. Are you accomplishing your personal goals? 7. What would you do if you were in charge? Being genuine in your compliments is something that takes practice like anything else. Dale Carnegie laid that out at the turn of the last century. And a compliment does not have to be praise, it can also be a genuine concern for another person's well being.

Take Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and see that each need is addressed from the bottom of the hierarchy to the top with an honest question if the need is addressed and a compliment regarding the need:

1. Please sit down can I get you anything to eat or drink?
2. Should we close the door so we are not disturbed?
3. How is your spouse and family?
4. Are you being respected for your education and experience?
6. Are you accomplishing your personal goals?
7. What would you do if you were in charge?

]]> By: Blogging to further your career « handiwork http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-170694 Blogging to further your career « handiwork Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:54:48 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-170694 [...] you should add to your list of friends. Pick the bloggers you enjoy reading the most, and comment. Don’t just say, “great post.” Suggest an angle the blogger might not have seen, or present some information the blogger might [...] [...] you should add to your list of friends. Pick the bloggers you enjoy reading the most, and comment. Don't just say, "great post." Suggest an angle the blogger might not have seen, or present some information the blogger might [...]

]]> By: Katie Konrath http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-95226 Katie Konrath Mon, 25 Jun 2007 17:40:40 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-95226 Compliments are very, very powerful! Your example of how even your boss needed them is great because normally we don't give compliments to the people above us. I've learned that giving a compliment is also the best way to critique someone's work too. Once I had to help someone improve a photography website, and I worked really hard to tell them what needed improvement by telling them about the things they excelled at (the photos) and how I wanted to see more of that instead of the commentary. I was a little worried when I sent it, because I had told them to change a lot of things--but they were thrilled by the review because it made them feel good about their work. I learned as an English tutor in college that students don't respond to negative critiques, that the best way to get them to want to improve is to emphasize everything they did well, and then to present the other things as simply minor problems to be fixed. Compliments are very, very powerful! Your example of how even your boss needed them is great because normally we don't give compliments to the people above us.

I've learned that giving a compliment is also the best way to critique someone's work too. Once I had to help someone improve a photography website, and I worked really hard to tell them what needed improvement by telling them about the things they excelled at (the photos) and how I wanted to see more of that instead of the commentary.

I was a little worried when I sent it, because I had told them to change a lot of things–but they were thrilled by the review because it made them feel good about their work.

I learned as an English tutor in college that students don't respond to negative critiques, that the best way to get them to want to improve is to emphasize everything they did well, and then to present the other things as simply minor problems to be fixed.

]]> By: Marissa http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-71874 Marissa Wed, 16 May 2007 17:15:26 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71874 Penelope, you're right on! Not only can positive language improve others' perception of you, but it can also change the work environment. <a href="www.culturerx.com" rel="nofollow">CultureRx</a> migrates teams and companies to a Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE) by first removing harmful language from the environment. They've coined this "SLUDGE". SLUDGE is the icky language we use to pass judgment on others. It really keeps us mired in the muck and perpetuates an unhealthy culture. Penelope, you're right on! Not only can positive language improve others' perception of you, but it can also change the work environment. CultureRx migrates teams and companies to a Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE) by first removing harmful language from the environment. They've coined this "SLUDGE". SLUDGE is the icky language we use to pass judgment on others. It really keeps us mired in the muck and perpetuates an unhealthy culture.

]]> By: dave http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-71698 dave Wed, 16 May 2007 09:37:16 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71698 This subject Penelope, is one of the major motivators in my life. Although it is a bit selfish, I give compliments to make me feel good, not to get people to like me. I once wrote a book review, quasi-advertisement in a national trade forum for this one fellow that spiked sales of his 130.00 book. I did so because I genuinely believed in his stuff. The emotion in his appreciative response reduced me to tears...which if you know me, is akin to Britney Spears wearing a nun outfit on stage. I will never forget this response as long as I live. This is a great post topic Penelope! And it works beyond one's wildest imagination...if one is authentic. * * * * * * * * <I>Hi, David. Thanks for reminding us how good it feels to be nice. So much of the happiness reseach (that I quote constantly) says that people who are nice just to be nice are actually happier people. Being nice makes us happy in ways that having tons of money or hotshot job can never do. --Penelope</I> This subject Penelope, is one of the major motivators in my life. Although it is a bit selfish, I give compliments to make me feel good, not to get people to like me. I once wrote a book review, quasi-advertisement in a national trade forum for this one fellow that spiked sales of his 130.00 book. I did so because I genuinely believed in his stuff. The emotion in his appreciative response reduced me to tears…which if you know me, is akin to Britney Spears wearing a nun outfit on stage. I will never forget this response as long as I live.

This is a great post topic Penelope! And it works beyond one's wildest imagination…if one is authentic.

* * * * * * * *

Hi, David. Thanks for reminding us how good it feels to be nice. So much of the happiness reseach (that I quote constantly) says that people who are nice just to be nice are actually happier people. Being nice makes us happy in ways that having tons of money or hotshot job can never do.

–Penelope

]]> By: Hope http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/comment-page-1/#comment-71456 Hope Tue, 15 May 2007 20:55:46 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71456 I think a well placed compliment can get you far in the business world. But there's also a limit. One of my peers is the world's biggest suck up and everyone avoids him...it's so disingenuous. Even the pres of our company commented one day that he always has his head up the pres' butt. I think a well placed compliment can get you far in the business world. But there's also a limit. One of my peers is the world's biggest suck up and everyone avoids him…it's so disingenuous. Even the pres of our company commented one day that he always has his head up the pres' butt.

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