Comments on: Book Excerpt: How to give a compliment http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Fri, 29 Aug 2008 23:02:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Katie Konrath http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-95226 Katie Konrath Mon, 25 Jun 2007 17:40:40 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-95226 Compliments are very, very powerful! Your example of how even your boss needed them is great because normally we don't give compliments to the people above us. I've learned that giving a compliment is also the best way to critique someone's work too. Once I had to help someone improve a photography website, and I worked really hard to tell them what needed improvement by telling them about the things they excelled at (the photos) and how I wanted to see more of that instead of the commentary. I was a little worried when I sent it, because I had told them to change a lot of things--but they were thrilled by the review because it made them feel good about their work. I learned as an English tutor in college that students don't respond to negative critiques, that the best way to get them to want to improve is to emphasize everything they did well, and then to present the other things as simply minor problems to be fixed. Compliments are very, very powerful! Your example of how even your boss needed them is great because normally we don't give compliments to the people above us.

I've learned that giving a compliment is also the best way to critique someone's work too. Once I had to help someone improve a photography website, and I worked really hard to tell them what needed improvement by telling them about the things they excelled at (the photos) and how I wanted to see more of that instead of the commentary.

I was a little worried when I sent it, because I had told them to change a lot of things–but they were thrilled by the review because it made them feel good about their work.

I learned as an English tutor in college that students don't respond to negative critiques, that the best way to get them to want to improve is to emphasize everything they did well, and then to present the other things as simply minor problems to be fixed.

]]> By: Marissa http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71874 Marissa Wed, 16 May 2007 17:15:26 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71874 Penelope, you're right on! Not only can positive language improve others' perception of you, but it can also change the work environment. <a href="www.culturerx.com" rel="nofollow">CultureRx</a> migrates teams and companies to a Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE) by first removing harmful language from the environment. They've coined this "SLUDGE". SLUDGE is the icky language we use to pass judgment on others. It really keeps us mired in the muck and perpetuates an unhealthy culture. Penelope, you're right on! Not only can positive language improve others' perception of you, but it can also change the work environment. CultureRx migrates teams and companies to a Results-Only Work Environment (ROWE) by first removing harmful language from the environment. They've coined this "SLUDGE". SLUDGE is the icky language we use to pass judgment on others. It really keeps us mired in the muck and perpetuates an unhealthy culture.

]]> By: dave http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71698 dave Wed, 16 May 2007 09:37:16 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71698 This subject Penelope, is one of the major motivators in my life. Although it is a bit selfish, I give compliments to make me feel good, not to get people to like me. I once wrote a book review, quasi-advertisement in a national trade forum for this one fellow that spiked sales of his 130.00 book. I did so because I genuinely believed in his stuff. The emotion in his appreciative response reduced me to tears...which if you know me, is akin to Britney Spears wearing a nun outfit on stage. I will never forget this response as long as I live. This is a great post topic Penelope! And it works beyond one's wildest imagination...if one is authentic. * * * * * * * * <I>Hi, David. Thanks for reminding us how good it feels to be nice. So much of the happiness reseach (that I quote constantly) says that people who are nice just to be nice are actually happier people. Being nice makes us happy in ways that having tons of money or hotshot job can never do. --Penelope</I> This subject Penelope, is one of the major motivators in my life. Although it is a bit selfish, I give compliments to make me feel good, not to get people to like me. I once wrote a book review, quasi-advertisement in a national trade forum for this one fellow that spiked sales of his 130.00 book. I did so because I genuinely believed in his stuff. The emotion in his appreciative response reduced me to tears…which if you know me, is akin to Britney Spears wearing a nun outfit on stage. I will never forget this response as long as I live.

This is a great post topic Penelope! And it works beyond one's wildest imagination…if one is authentic.

* * * * * * * *

Hi, David. Thanks for reminding us how good it feels to be nice. So much of the happiness reseach (that I quote constantly) says that people who are nice just to be nice are actually happier people. Being nice makes us happy in ways that having tons of money or hotshot job can never do.

–Penelope

]]> By: Hope http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71456 Hope Tue, 15 May 2007 20:55:46 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71456 I think a well placed compliment can get you far in the business world. But there's also a limit. One of my peers is the world's biggest suck up and everyone avoids him...it's so disingenuous. Even the pres of our company commented one day that he always has his head up the pres' butt. I think a well placed compliment can get you far in the business world. But there's also a limit. One of my peers is the world's biggest suck up and everyone avoids him…it's so disingenuous. Even the pres of our company commented one day that he always has his head up the pres' butt.

]]> By: Chris http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71440 Chris Tue, 15 May 2007 19:53:51 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71440 Here's some more advice on how to give a compliment: http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/praise-what-they-did-not-who-they-are/ Just do a global replace of "raising kids" with "communicating with co-workers". The intersection of work and life is a large set. Here's some more advice on how to give a compliment:

http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/praise-what-they-did-not-who-they-are/

Just do a global replace of "raising kids" with "communicating with co-workers".

The intersection of work and life is a large set.

]]> By: Recruiting Animal http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71425 Recruiting Animal Tue, 15 May 2007 19:17:44 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/15/book-excerpt-how-to-give-a-compliment/#comment-71425 You are funny. You're hilarious. You're the funniest person I've every met. Did I do it right? Compliments are great. Some people can lap them up without end. But others become suspicious when they are overdone. You are funny. You're hilarious. You're the funniest person I've every met. Did I do it right?

Compliments are great. Some people can lap them up without end. But others become suspicious when they are overdone.

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