Comments on: Twentysomething: In praise of the helicopter parent http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Tue, 16 Mar 2010 17:51:28 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Hernan Cortes http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/comment-page-2/#comment-216234 Hernan Cortes Sat, 12 Dec 2009 07:12:04 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/#comment-216234 Ryan, as I understand your article and your various follow up comments on the subject, you fundamentally fail to understand what an "agent" is in the context of "negotiating salary" etc. for a prospective hire. Your symptomatic delusions as to how capitalism works are what we, as commenters, are trying to warn you and your uninformed readers about. An employer, sports team, etc. consents to negotiate with an agent because 1. there is a (perceived) limited talent pool and 2. the employer is pre-disposed to value the specific candidate. Most entry level positions don't fulfill these conditions. Because of this scarcity and interest, the unique candidate can put forth an agent to negotiate on his or her behalf. The ability to employ an agent in negotiation is, again, an implicit indicator of a uniquely high level of value of the candidate in a given situation. As an employer, I want to get the best deal for myself. Having a pesky parent call to nickel and dime me and waste my time about an entry level role just sounds pathetic and is a non-starter. And frankly that is my real concern - it's consuming enough keeping a business running. You're adding to my plate by asking me to coddle parents as well?! That where the candidate oversteps his or her station - by making me do more work to hire them. Think about that. I'm not going to wring my hands and bewail the death of traditional America. If you think you can get a better deal by having your parents call a hiring manager, go for it! It may work in some cases - why not?! However, your argument undermines itself to a certain extent. If EVERYONE's parent calls in, then how would an employer decide who to hire? We're then back to square one - highest value add for the money. Considering that at the entry level, which you focus on, the pay range is not great in absolute terms. A successful parent then would have to throw around their own contacts and resources to further entice the employer who must choose in the ideal case between two substantially equal candidates. As noted by other commenters above, there is a naked elitism in this equation. But so be it. Certainly, parents have called on friends to get their children jobs since the beginning of time. What you seem to be arguing for is an elimination of this insider track whereby ALL parents felt empowered to call in and offer a value add to be considered along with their child's hire. Just saying, "My Johnny deserves better," is going to be met with laughter. But calling and out-competing all the other hand-wringing parents by saying that they would sign up as a client with my company is a whole different ball game. Theoretically, I would listen to a parent who distinguishes their child's candidacy by a commitment to my bottom line. Whether that is legal under equal opportunity laws is an entirely different matter. Ryan, as I understand your article and your various follow up comments on the subject, you fundamentally fail to understand what an "agent" is in the context of "negotiating salary" etc. for a prospective hire. Your symptomatic delusions as to how capitalism works are what we, as commenters, are trying to warn you and your uninformed readers about. An employer, sports team, etc. consents to negotiate with an agent because 1. there is a (perceived) limited talent pool and 2. the employer is pre-disposed to value the specific candidate. Most entry level positions don't fulfill these conditions. Because of this scarcity and interest, the unique candidate can put forth an agent to negotiate on his or her behalf. The ability to employ an agent in negotiation is, again, an implicit indicator of a uniquely high level of value of the candidate in a given situation.
As an employer, I want to get the best deal for myself. Having a pesky parent call to nickel and dime me and waste my time about an entry level role just sounds pathetic and is a non-starter. And frankly that is my real concern – it's consuming enough keeping a business running. You're adding to my plate by asking me to coddle parents as well?! That where the candidate oversteps his or her station – by making me do more work to hire them. Think about that.
I'm not going to wring my hands and bewail the death of traditional America. If you think you can get a better deal by having your parents call a hiring manager, go for it! It may work in some cases – why not?! However, your argument undermines itself to a certain extent. If EVERYONE's parent calls in, then how would an employer decide who to hire? We're then back to square one – highest value add for the money. Considering that at the entry level, which you focus on, the pay range is not great in absolute terms. A successful parent then would have to throw around their own contacts and resources to further entice the employer who must choose in the ideal case between two substantially equal candidates. As noted by other commenters above, there is a naked elitism in this equation. But so be it. Certainly, parents have called on friends to get their children jobs since the beginning of time. What you seem to be arguing for is an elimination of this insider track whereby ALL parents felt empowered to call in and offer a value add to be considered along with their child's hire. Just saying, "My Johnny deserves better," is going to be met with laughter. But calling and out-competing all the other hand-wringing parents by saying that they would sign up as a client with my company is a whole different ball game. Theoretically, I would listen to a parent who distinguishes their child's candidacy by a commitment to my bottom line. Whether that is legal under equal opportunity laws is an entirely different matter.

]]> By: Whatever happened to privacy for its own sake? | www.James-Strocel.com http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/comment-page-2/#comment-179531 Whatever happened to privacy for its own sake? | www.James-Strocel.com Sun, 18 Jan 2009 06:44:51 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/#comment-179531 [...] and controversial. For instance, she advised that new grads should involve their parents in their Brazen Careerist, run by Penelope Trunk. She runs a consulting business instructing companies on how to attract and [...] [...] and controversial. For instance, she advised that new grads should involve their parents in their Brazen Careerist, run by Penelope Trunk. She runs a consulting business instructing companies on how to attract and [...]

]]> By: 4 Things You Might Not Know About Generation Y : ERE.net http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/comment-page-1/#comment-171822 4 Things You Might Not Know About Generation Y : ERE.net Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:53:06 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/#comment-171822 [...] were going to, say, spend a decade using drugs and hanging out at Woodstock. The helicopter parent phenomenon is also a sign of a generation that is not rebelling. They let their parents help choose their [...] [...] were going to, say, spend a decade using drugs and hanging out at Woodstock. The helicopter parent phenomenon is also a sign of a generation that is not rebelling. They let their parents help choose their [...]

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]]> By: Employee Evolution - Working with Penelope Trunk — Tales from a Startup Soap Opera http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/comment-page-1/#comment-111644 Employee Evolution - Working with Penelope Trunk — Tales from a Startup Soap Opera Thu, 15 Nov 2007 10:30:58 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/#comment-111644 [...] The parent thing is another story. At the risk of making generational speculations, I wonder if people in her age realm just don’t get the bond between millennials and their family. Is rocking out with your kids considered helicopter parenting? [...] [...] The parent thing is another story. At the risk of making generational speculations, I wonder if people in her age realm just don't get the bond between millennials and their family. Is rocking out with your kids considered helicopter parenting? [...]

]]> By: ugh.-- the everyday adventures of sabrina http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/comment-page-1/#comment-110715 ugh.-- the everyday adventures of sabrina Wed, 07 Nov 2007 01:01:06 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/05/08/twentysomething-in-praise-of-the-helicopter-parent/#comment-110715 [...] someone as completely blind to irony as this writer. (and also, i’d really appreciate it if no candidate ever sends her mother to negotiate salary for her. i don’t honestly know how i would react but there’s a good possibility it would [...] [...] someone as completely blind to irony as this writer. (and also, i'd really appreciate it if no candidate ever sends her mother to negotiate salary for her. i don't honestly know how i would react but there's a good possibility it would [...]

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