Comments on: The ill-advised but often-sought business-trip tryst http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sun, 08 Nov 2009 06:47:54 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: hesdatinghiscolleagueonbusiness http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-189399 hesdatinghiscolleagueonbusiness Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:39:42 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-189399 Scary. As I write this my fiance is away on a two-week business trip with a colleague - a 25-year-old blonde whose name comes up in conversation all the time. "Suzi does this, Suzi says that." The other night Suzi came to his room to discuss business. When I said I thought that was odd, he told me they have no where else to go because it's a bed and breakfast. Why they couldn't have discussed business over dinner is beyond me. He has called me every day and given a run down of what they're doing. It's a day of work and then after work they are hanging out, seeing the sights, and having dinner. So it's definitely part pleasure trip. I have to say I feel extremely uneasy about this and I did the minute he told me they were going on this trip together, alone. There ought to be a law against shit like this. But she's the lead person who is showing him the ropes. I have never met this girl. She has a boyfriend, but attached people get it on all the time. (I wonder how her boyfriend feels about this?) I just find it unsettling that my fiance is off on what is essentially a pleasure trip spending 12 hours a day in face-to-face contact with another woman. Lunches, dinner, and discussing business into the evening. WTF? Should I not be jealous and concerned? I don't know what to do with myself. I'm on pins and needles. If she was a guy, this wouldn't matter. But she's not, and I think people are very naive or don't want to face the facts that same sex friendships work colleagues are different from opposite sex when you're not homosexual. Scary. As I write this my fiance is away on a two-week business trip with a colleague – a 25-year-old blonde whose name comes up in conversation all the time. "Suzi does this, Suzi says that." The other night Suzi came to his room to discuss business. When I said I thought that was odd, he told me they have no where else to go because it's a bed and breakfast. Why they couldn't have discussed business over dinner is beyond me.

He has called me every day and given a run down of what they're doing. It's a day of work and then after work they are hanging out, seeing the sights, and having dinner. So it's definitely part pleasure trip. I have to say I feel extremely uneasy about this and I did the minute he told me they were going on this trip together, alone.

There ought to be a law against shit like this. But she's the lead person who is showing him the ropes. I have never met this girl. She has a boyfriend, but attached people get it on all the time. (I wonder how her boyfriend feels about this?) I just find it unsettling that my fiance is off on what is essentially a pleasure trip spending 12 hours a day in face-to-face contact with another woman. Lunches, dinner, and discussing business into the evening. WTF? Should I not be jealous and concerned?

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm on pins and needles. If she was a guy, this wouldn't matter. But she's not, and I think people are very naive or don't want to face the facts that same sex friendships work colleagues are different from opposite sex when you're not homosexual.

]]> By: Charles http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-181548 Charles Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:22:26 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-181548 One more thing I have to say. Those that can't believe this or haven't noticed it going on in the world around them; WAKE UP! OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS. And beware of the spouse that seems to be perfect. All marriages run into issues and it's many times the perfect marriage where somebody is shocked and devastated to find out their spouse has been living a separate life of sex and affairs. Good luck to you guys. One more thing I have to say. Those that can't believe this or haven't noticed it going on in the world around them; WAKE UP! OPEN YOUR EYES AND EARS. And beware of the spouse that seems to be perfect. All marriages run into issues and it's many times the perfect marriage where somebody is shocked and devastated to find out their spouse has been living a separate life of sex and affairs.

Good luck to you guys.

]]> By: Charles http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-181547 Charles Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:16:16 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-181547 I very much agree with the article. I've already dealt with a my wife having a one night stand on a business trip. In fact, it was not with a co-worker, but a guy she met while she and her business associated went out for drinks at the end of the day. As far as cheating with your co-worker is concerned, my wife explained to me that as a well respected employee that everybody knows is married, the last thing she'd want people to know is that she's cheating on her husband. The one night stand was in no way pre-meditated, but as long as we are human, these things can happen. I don't condone this in any way, but being on a business trip and staying in your own private hotel room alone at night is a perfect recipe for such behavior. We don't have kids and thank God for that. We have been working through this and seems to be going well, but you just never know in life. For those of you that can't believe your ears, the statistics are not only true, but they are getting worse every year. Cheating on a relationship has been very common for a long time now (women are surely catching up to men) and even more so as women have become more prevalent in the workplace. Just think... you're on the road. You meet someone attractive that you'll never see again. You have a few drinks and your own hotel room. Nobody but the two of you will ever know. You don't do it because you have fallen out of love with your spouse; you do it because you are sexually attracted and because you can.. can get away with it. When your trip is over, you come home back to the real world as if nothing ever happened. I very much agree with the article. I've already dealt with a my wife having a one night stand on a business trip. In fact, it was not with a co-worker, but a guy she met while she and her business associated went out for drinks at the end of the day. As far as cheating with your co-worker is concerned, my wife explained to me that as a well respected employee that everybody knows is married, the last thing she'd want people to know is that she's cheating on her husband. The one night stand was in no way pre-meditated, but as long as we are human, these things can happen. I don't condone this in any way, but being on a business trip and staying in your own private hotel room alone at night is a perfect recipe for such behavior. We don't have kids and thank God for that. We have been working through this and seems to be going well, but you just never know in life.

For those of you that can't believe your ears, the statistics are not only true, but they are getting worse every year. Cheating on a relationship has been very common for a long time now (women are surely catching up to men) and even more so as women have become more prevalent in the workplace.

Just think… you're on the road. You meet someone attractive that you'll never see again. You have a few drinks and your own hotel room. Nobody but the two of you will ever know. You don't do it because you have fallen out of love with your spouse; you do it because you are sexually attracted and because you can.. can get away with it. When your trip is over, you come home back to the real world as if nothing ever happened.

]]> By: michael http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-171244 michael Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:16:42 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-171244 When i came across this site i thought i was going to find a valuable resource; instead, i read the first few lines of your posts and immediately feel the condescension with which you treat your husband and how full of yourself you are because of your "great career". I am not coming back to this blog again. When i came across this site i thought i was going to find a valuable resource; instead, i read the first few lines of your posts and immediately feel the condescension with which you treat your husband and how full of yourself you are because of your "great career". I am not coming back to this blog again.

]]> By: Lisa http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-137123 Lisa Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:02:24 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-137123 Penelope, This isn't the first time that you've mentioned being hit on in the workplace. I know this is a common phenomenon and have heard one or two friends with a common story. I am 27, fit, relatively attractive, and very intelligent (I imagine you are thinking that the majority believe they have above-average looks and smarts!). I have not been subjected to obvious sexual discrimination or been hit on in any way. What's more, I work in a heavily male-dominated industry. My question is this: do you think not being hit on is actually a negative when it is so commonplace? I am not talking about overt sexual harrassment. But perhaps a senior being flirtatious means he is at least paying attention to you? Or is this simply the wrong type attention to begin with? Penelope,

This isn't the first time that you've mentioned being hit on in the workplace. I know this is a common phenomenon and have heard one or two friends with a common story.

I am 27, fit, relatively attractive, and very intelligent (I imagine you are thinking that the majority believe they have above-average looks and smarts!). I have not been subjected to obvious sexual discrimination or been hit on in any way. What's more, I work in a heavily male-dominated industry.

My question is this: do you think not being hit on is actually a negative when it is so commonplace? I am not talking about overt sexual harrassment. But perhaps a senior being flirtatious means he is at least paying attention to you? Or is this simply the wrong type attention to begin with?

]]> By: melanie gao http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-37558 melanie gao Fri, 02 Mar 2007 06:01:19 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-37558 I'm thoroughly depressed. No one has ever, ever hit on me during a business trip. What is wrong with me?! :) I'm thoroughly depressed. No one has ever, ever hit on me during a business trip. What is wrong with me?!

:)

]]> By: Why I FAILED » Sex on the Road and Other Places http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-31197 Why I FAILED » Sex on the Road and Other Places Sun, 18 Feb 2007 01:24:04 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-31197 [...] As Penelop Truck says in her terrific post: The ill-advised but often-sought business-trip tryst, “now I can see why affairs happen so often on business trips…there is only freedom and fun. And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?” [...] [...] As Penelop Truck says in her terrific post: The ill-advised but often-sought business-trip tryst, "now I can see why affairs happen so often on business trips…there is only freedom and fun. And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?" [...]

]]> By: Noel Jensen http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-30368 Noel Jensen Fri, 16 Feb 2007 17:29:03 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-30368 Good post! The advice (Don't act on it!) from Oprah's therapist is not only useful here but in many other situations. Good post! The advice (Don't act on it!) from Oprah's therapist is not only useful here but in many other situations.

]]> By: Linkensoep: Linked In, seks en pakkenbullshit http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-29654 Linkensoep: Linked In, seks en pakkenbullshit Thu, 15 Feb 2007 07:30:17 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-29654 [...] Seks tijdens business-trips, de getrouwde vrouw Penelope Trunk schrijft er een eerlijke post over op haar blog Brazen Careerist. Ze zegt daarin dat business trips en gedachten over seksueel eens even flink de bloemetjes buiten zetten, hand in hand gaan. En dat we eens moeten ophouden met daar al te verwonderd van op te kijken. Het is part of the deal. Daar eerlijk over zijn is het begin van er op een integere manier mee om gaan. (Daarnaast is ze net een paar weken bezig als columnist bij Yahoo! Daar heb je vet veel lezers, en dan kan het wel eens gebeuren dat je 867 negatieve reacties op een post krijgt. Maar daar gaat het nu even niet om.) [...] [...] Seks tijdens business-trips, de getrouwde vrouw Penelope Trunk schrijft er een eerlijke post over op haar blog Brazen Careerist. Ze zegt daarin dat business trips en gedachten over seksueel eens even flink de bloemetjes buiten zetten, hand in hand gaan. En dat we eens moeten ophouden met daar al te verwonderd van op te kijken. Het is part of the deal. Daar eerlijk over zijn is het begin van er op een integere manier mee om gaan. (Daarnaast is ze net een paar weken bezig als columnist bij Yahoo! Daar heb je vet veel lezers, en dan kan het wel eens gebeuren dat je 867 negatieve reacties op een post krijgt. Maar daar gaat het nu even niet om.) [...]

]]> By: Matt B http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/comment-page-1/#comment-28676 Matt B Tue, 13 Feb 2007 17:40:35 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28676 "And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?" ...Well I am a married man with a young child and I can tell you that there are lots of things besides cheating on my wife that I would do with freedom and fun. Namely, take a nap, enjoy a movie uninterrupted, workout at the gym... This strikes me as a rather immature post and quite stereotypical of the "boorish businessman." At least you plugged the book. "And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?"

…Well I am a married man with a young child and I can tell you that there are lots of things besides cheating on my wife that I would do with freedom and fun. Namely, take a nap, enjoy a movie uninterrupted, workout at the gym… This strikes me as a rather immature post and quite stereotypical of the "boorish businessman." At least you plugged the book.

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