Comments on: The ill-advised but often-sought business-trip tryst http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sun, 20 Jul 2008 22:17:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Lisa http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-137123 Lisa Tue, 04 Mar 2008 17:02:24 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-137123 Penelope, This isn't the first time that you've mentioned being hit on in the workplace. I know this is a common phenomenon and have heard one or two friends with a common story. I am 27, fit, relatively attractive, and very intelligent (I imagine you are thinking that the majority believe they have above-average looks and smarts!). I have not been subjected to obvious sexual discrimination or been hit on in any way. What's more, I work in a heavily male-dominated industry. My question is this: do you think not being hit on is actually a negative when it is so commonplace? I am not talking about overt sexual harrassment. But perhaps a senior being flirtatious means he is at least paying attention to you? Or is this simply the wrong type attention to begin with? Penelope,

This isn’t the first time that you’ve mentioned being hit on in the workplace. I know this is a common phenomenon and have heard one or two friends with a common story.

I am 27, fit, relatively attractive, and very intelligent (I imagine you are thinking that the majority believe they have above-average looks and smarts!). I have not been subjected to obvious sexual discrimination or been hit on in any way. What’s more, I work in a heavily male-dominated industry.

My question is this: do you think not being hit on is actually a negative when it is so commonplace? I am not talking about overt sexual harrassment. But perhaps a senior being flirtatious means he is at least paying attention to you? Or is this simply the wrong type attention to begin with?

]]> By: melanie gao http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-37558 melanie gao Fri, 02 Mar 2007 06:01:19 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-37558 I'm thoroughly depressed. No one has ever, ever hit on me during a business trip. What is wrong with me?! :) I’m thoroughly depressed. No one has ever, ever hit on me during a business trip. What is wrong with me?!

:)

]]> By: Why I FAILED » Sex on the Road and Other Places http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-31197 Why I FAILED » Sex on the Road and Other Places Sun, 18 Feb 2007 01:24:04 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-31197 [...] As Penelop Truck says in her terrific post: The ill-advised but often-sought business-trip tryst, “now I can see why affairs happen so often on business trips…there is only freedom and fun. And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?” [...] […] As Penelop Truck says in her terrific post: The ill-advised but often-sought business-trip tryst, “now I can see why affairs happen so often on business trips…there is only freedom and fun. And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?” […]

]]> By: Noel Jensen http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-30368 Noel Jensen Fri, 16 Feb 2007 17:29:03 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-30368 Good post! The advice (Don't act on it!) from Oprah's therapist is not only useful here but in many other situations. Good post! The advice (Don’t act on it!) from Oprah’s therapist is not only useful here but in many other situations.

]]> By: Linkensoep: Linked In, seks en pakkenbullshit http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-29654 Linkensoep: Linked In, seks en pakkenbullshit Thu, 15 Feb 2007 07:30:17 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-29654 [...] Seks tijdens business-trips, de getrouwde vrouw Penelope Trunk schrijft er een eerlijke post over op haar blog Brazen Careerist. Ze zegt daarin dat business trips en gedachten over seksueel eens even flink de bloemetjes buiten zetten, hand in hand gaan. En dat we eens moeten ophouden met daar al te verwonderd van op te kijken. Het is part of the deal. Daar eerlijk over zijn is het begin van er op een integere manier mee om gaan. (Daarnaast is ze net een paar weken bezig als columnist bij Yahoo! Daar heb je vet veel lezers, en dan kan het wel eens gebeuren dat je 867 negatieve reacties op een post krijgt. Maar daar gaat het nu even niet om.) [...] […] Seks tijdens business-trips, de getrouwde vrouw Penelope Trunk schrijft er een eerlijke post over op haar blog Brazen Careerist. Ze zegt daarin dat business trips en gedachten over seksueel eens even flink de bloemetjes buiten zetten, hand in hand gaan. En dat we eens moeten ophouden met daar al te verwonderd van op te kijken. Het is part of the deal. Daar eerlijk over zijn is het begin van er op een integere manier mee om gaan. (Daarnaast is ze net een paar weken bezig als columnist bij Yahoo! Daar heb je vet veel lezers, en dan kan het wel eens gebeuren dat je 867 negatieve reacties op een post krijgt. Maar daar gaat het nu even niet om.) […]

]]> By: Matt B http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28676 Matt B Tue, 13 Feb 2007 17:40:35 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28676 "And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?" ...Well I am a married man with a young child and I can tell you that there are lots of things besides cheating on my wife that I would do with freedom and fun. Namely, take a nap, enjoy a movie uninterrupted, workout at the gym... This strikes me as a rather immature post and quite stereotypical of the "boorish businessman." At least you plugged the book. “And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?”

…Well I am a married man with a young child and I can tell you that there are lots of things besides cheating on my wife that I would do with freedom and fun. Namely, take a nap, enjoy a movie uninterrupted, workout at the gym… This strikes me as a rather immature post and quite stereotypical of the “boorish businessman.” At least you plugged the book.

]]> By: Recruiting Animal http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28604 Recruiting Animal Tue, 13 Feb 2007 14:38:25 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28604 Inc Magazine is covering it too. Just in time for Valentines Day. http://www.inc.com/criticalnews/articles/200702/dating.html?partner=rss Inc Magazine is covering it too. Just in time for Valentines Day.

http://www.inc.com/criticalnews/articles/200702/dating.html?partner=rss

]]> By: Ron http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28412 Ron Tue, 13 Feb 2007 06:56:44 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28412 "I think if we all admit this, we can all get good at having the feelings and not considering the option of acting on them..." ...or at least just processing them by ourselves back at the hotel. Another reason even married couples should be willing to embrace a healthy self-love life! “I think if we all admit this, we can all get good at having the feelings and not considering the option of acting on them…”

…or at least just processing them by ourselves back at the hotel. Another reason even married couples should be willing to embrace a healthy self-love life!

]]> By: Sandi http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28335 Sandi Tue, 13 Feb 2007 03:59:56 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28335 Hi Penelope -- Funny timing - here's a story in yesterday's Washington Post about work spouses: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/10/AR2007021000012.html?referrer=emailarticle But I can see why you'd also be solicited for marriage advice. Job hunting and dating have many parallels. <strong>* * * * * </strong> <I>Great article, Sandi. Thanks for posting it. The research to support the benefits of a "workplace spouse" is so good... -Penelope</i> Hi Penelope — Funny timing - here’s a story in yesterday’s Washington Post about work spouses: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/10/AR2007021000012.html?referrer=emailarticle

But I can see why you’d also be solicited for marriage advice. Job hunting and dating have many parallels.

* * * * *

Great article, Sandi. Thanks for posting it. The research to support the benefits of a “workplace spouse” is so good…

-Penelope

]]> By: Female Traveler http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28331 Female Traveler Tue, 13 Feb 2007 03:45:41 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/02/12/the-ill-advised-but-often-sought-business-trip-tryst/#comment-28331 Interesting post. There's another side to all of this too, that I've noticed when traveling on business and in the "backpacking scene." Men and women who are in committed relationships (whether officially married or not) often seem to seek out the platonic companionship of someone of the opposite sex for a day or two. Somewhat similar to a "first date" the idea isn't really to "consumate" the relationship, but simply to enjoy getting to know someone better. WIth men I've worked with, hanging out together for an evening on the road and getting to know each other as people was enjoyable and a little like being on a first date except no pressure to go further(since both people knew the other was committed relationship). Maybe one person or the other had a slight fantasy of going further, but both people knew it wouldn't happen so no tension, no pressure, just an enjoyable time away from spouses and kids and mortgages and check books. Interesting post. There’s another side to all of this too, that I’ve noticed when traveling on business and in the “backpacking scene.”

Men and women who are in committed relationships (whether officially married or not) often seem to seek out the platonic companionship of someone of the opposite sex for a day or two. Somewhat similar to a “first date” the idea isn’t really to “consumate” the relationship, but simply to enjoy getting to know someone better.

WIth men I’ve worked with, hanging out together for an evening on the road and getting to know each other as people was enjoyable and a little like being on a first date except no pressure to go further(since both people knew the other was committed relationship). Maybe one person or the other had a slight fantasy of going further, but both people knew it wouldn’t happen so no tension, no pressure, just an enjoyable time away from spouses and kids and mortgages and check books.

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