Comments on: The difficult convergence: Work and family by age 30 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sat, 11 Oct 2008 22:19:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: Modite - Gen Y women – out of the workplace woods? http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-139012 Modite - Gen Y women – out of the workplace woods? Tue, 25 Mar 2008 03:16:37 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-139012 [...] when I read advice that tells me I have to get married and have babies before I’m thirty. I guess it’s smart advice, but it [...] [...] when I read advice that tells me I have to get married and have babies before I’m thirty. I guess it’s smart advice, but it [...]

]]> By: Women: Career vs. Kids vs. tick tick tick | Bill Cammack http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-138505 Women: Career vs. Kids vs. tick tick tick | Bill Cammack Sat, 15 Mar 2008 18:14:56 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-138505 [...] Penelope Trunk: “For example, sixty percent of women with MBAs are working at home, and an epidemic number of women are leaving corporate life when their children come. Women approaching age thirty face these statistics.” [...] [...] Penelope Trunk: "For example, sixty percent of women with MBAs are working at home, and an epidemic number of women are leaving corporate life when their children come. Women approaching age thirty face these statistics." [...]

]]> By: Lisa http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-137089 Lisa Mon, 03 Mar 2008 21:35:24 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-137089 "So today many women find themselves in a position where they are struggling to line up a grand convergence of career, marriage and motherhood within a couple of years of age thirty." This sentence describes me. I am 27 and getting married in two months. After spending six years in finance, I finally was honest with myself about needing a career that spoke to my interests rather than my bank account. I am starting an MA in Organizational Psychology this fall. Without having spent six years at a major financial institution, I never would have discovered that my passion is really how to make employees happy and efficient. I believe others have had similar experiences, spending years in a field (mostly finance and consulting) while figuring out what they wanted to do. By the time we've figured it out, we are already in our late 20s and are starting to think about other priorities. I am nostalgic for my 23-year-old lifestyle where I could just focus on my career. Now, at a time when I am ready to throw myself into school, I am planning a wedding, meshing with my new family, supporting my fiance while he gets his MBA, and thinking about the changes my body is currently undergoing. The difference in what I think about and what my fiance thinks about is astounding - he feels no convergence whatsoever. "So today many women find themselves in a position where they are struggling to line up a grand convergence of career, marriage and motherhood within a couple of years of age thirty."

This sentence describes me. I am 27 and getting married in two months. After spending six years in finance, I finally was honest with myself about needing a career that spoke to my interests rather than my bank account. I am starting an MA in Organizational Psychology this fall.

Without having spent six years at a major financial institution, I never would have discovered that my passion is really how to make employees happy and efficient. I believe others have had similar experiences, spending years in a field (mostly finance and consulting) while figuring out what they wanted to do. By the time we've figured it out, we are already in our late 20s and are starting to think about other priorities. I am nostalgic for my 23-year-old lifestyle where I could just focus on my career.

Now, at a time when I am ready to throw myself into school, I am planning a wedding, meshing with my new family, supporting my fiance while he gets his MBA, and thinking about the changes my body is currently undergoing. The difference in what I think about and what my fiance thinks about is astounding - he feels no convergence whatsoever.

]]> By: Entrepreneurship: The Changing Frontier « Nitro’s Weblog http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-135970 Entrepreneurship: The Changing Frontier « Nitro’s Weblog Sun, 17 Feb 2008 02:26:22 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-135970 [...] New: Women are getting what they want by leaving corporate America to start their own businesses. [...] [...] New: Women are getting what they want by leaving corporate America to start their own businesses. [...]

]]> By: Dara http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-109436 Dara Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:21:09 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-109436 I find this topic immensely interesting because, at a young age, I always thought, "I want two kids and I want them before 30." I'm a greatly blessed individual, with the "perfect situation" and it doesn't make the decision to have kids or not any easier. I'm going to turn 25 this month. I'm married to a wonderful man who I firmly believe would make an awesome dad. We could easily make it with two kids on just his income alone. I also have a great professional part-time job and own my own business which both, if finessed, could be very flexible for me to raise my own kids w/ minimal daycare help. The time couldn't be better, but I'm balking. I just don't feel ready for motherhood (I'm too selfish), but have always thought I'd have kids. It's like I've always had this Pleasantville view of what my life would be as I got older, but never really understand it would be ME living it. I don't have the biological yearning for children some women have, but still can't imagine NOT ever having them. So, I'm stuck asking myself if I ever really wanted them or if it's just a societal expectation I grew up with. Is it unfair to my husband, who I think really wants children, but hasn't really asked yet, if I say no? With birth control, I HAVE to decide. I almost wish I'd be in the .1 percent where the BC fails and have an "accident". Then I'd just have to deal with it. I honestly don't think it'd bother me either way (children or no). I ask my mom about how she decided and her answer was "I just didn't think about it as much as you." Sheesh. What have we women done to ourselves over the last few decades? I find this topic immensely interesting because, at a young age, I always thought, "I want two kids and I want them before 30." I'm a greatly blessed individual, with the "perfect situation" and it doesn't make the decision to have kids or not any easier. I'm going to turn 25 this month. I'm married to a wonderful man who I firmly believe would make an awesome dad. We could easily make it with two kids on just his income alone. I also have a great professional part-time job and own my own business which both, if finessed, could be very flexible for me to raise my own kids w/ minimal daycare help.

The time couldn't be better, but I'm balking. I just don't feel ready for motherhood (I'm too selfish), but have always thought I'd have kids. It's like I've always had this Pleasantville view of what my life would be as I got older, but never really understand it would be ME living it. I don't have the biological yearning for children some women have, but still can't imagine NOT ever having them. So, I'm stuck asking myself if I ever really wanted them or if it's just a societal expectation I grew up with. Is it unfair to my husband, who I think really wants children, but hasn't really asked yet, if I say no?

With birth control, I HAVE to decide. I almost wish I'd be in the .1 percent where the BC fails and have an "accident". Then I'd just have to deal with it. I honestly don't think it'd bother me either way (children or no). I ask my mom about how she decided and her answer was "I just didn't think about it as much as you." Sheesh. What have we women done to ourselves over the last few decades?

]]> By: Nyrie http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-106477 Nyrie Sat, 18 Aug 2007 22:07:41 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-106477 I'm feeling the pressure to have children since I'll be 30 in three months. I've suffered losses already, so getting emotionally back on track was very important. Now, I'm concentrating on a career-change, but the pressure is on all sides and within myself. My husband and I are coming up with a plan, but I agree you just have to figure it out at it comes. I just hope we can survive the changes; career-wise and for family sake. I'm feeling the pressure to have children since I'll be 30 in three months. I've suffered losses already, so getting emotionally back on track was very important. Now, I'm concentrating on a career-change, but the pressure is on all sides and within myself. My husband and I are coming up with a plan, but I agree you just have to figure it out at it comes. I just hope we can survive the changes; career-wise and for family sake.

]]> By: The long-distance relationship goes mainstream: 3 tips for survival » Brazen Careerist http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-45141 The long-distance relationship goes mainstream: 3 tips for survival » Brazen Careerist Sun, 18 Mar 2007 17:52:26 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-45141 [...] So the typical gen-Y graduate plans on being married around age thirty. Which means that while he or she is gallivanting from job to job and city to city, there is also, a parallel hunt for a stable partner. [...] [...] So the typical gen-Y graduate plans on being married around age thirty. Which means that while he or she is gallivanting from job to job and city to city, there is also, a parallel hunt for a stable partner. [...]

]]> By: Joanne http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-13467 Joanne Fri, 05 Jan 2007 13:54:29 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-13467 Another great column. I know that for me, it's starting to be a big wall staring me in the face - the career is taking off, right when I NEED to get going on making babies if I am going to do it at all. I am lucky enough to have a stable relationship, but I'm now over 30, and we'd like to start a family in the next 1-2 years. But I'm a manager at work, and my "family friendly" company is not, really. It is if you're a male manager - look, you can take (limited) time off! But if you're a woman? One of my mentors was back at work after 8 weeks (and has intimated that this was VERY hard). She's at the US head office, and I'm in Canada, so the legal entitlements are different. It's just that yes, I'm legally entitled to a year off, but it would kill any forward progress I have in this company. So we're discussing how we can both scale back our careers a little bit, to try to work this out. Thanks for the helpful links, I will definitely be checking them out in more depth! * * * * * <i> This seems like a really good time for me to poke my nose into what I am not totally convinced is my business. But I just really feel that it is a mistake to put off having kids becuase it's a bad time in one's career. 1. There is no good time. 2. Until the baby is right there, you can't really know what you will want to do once the baby comes. Here I'm speaking from experience and feeling obligated to protect others from what was my own state of ignorance. --Penelope</i> Another great column.

I know that for me, it's starting to be a big wall staring me in the face - the career is taking off, right when I NEED to get going on making babies if I am going to do it at all. I am lucky enough to have a stable relationship, but I'm now over 30, and we'd like to start a family in the next 1-2 years. But I'm a manager at work, and my "family friendly" company is not, really. It is if you're a male manager - look, you can take (limited) time off! But if you're a woman? One of my mentors was back at work after 8 weeks (and has intimated that this was VERY hard). She's at the US head office, and I'm in Canada, so the legal entitlements are different. It's just that yes, I'm legally entitled to a year off, but it would kill any forward progress I have in this company. So we're discussing how we can both scale back our careers a little bit, to try to work this out. Thanks for the helpful links, I will definitely be checking them out in more depth!

* * * * *

This seems like a really good time for me to poke my nose into what I am not totally convinced is my business. But I just really feel that it is a mistake to put off having kids becuase it's a bad time in one's career.

1. There is no good time.

2. Until the baby is right there, you can't really know what you will want to do once the baby comes.

Here I'm speaking from experience and feeling obligated to protect others from what was my own state of ignorance.

–Penelope

]]> By: 8 Outdated notions of entrepreneurship » Brazen Careerist http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-13297 8 Outdated notions of entrepreneurship » Brazen Careerist Fri, 05 Jan 2007 06:46:49 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-13297 [...] Old: Women will get power in corporate America and change how things are done. New: Women are getting what they want by leaving corporate America to start their own businesses. [...] [...] Old: Women will get power in corporate America and change how things are done. New: Women are getting what they want by leaving corporate America to start their own businesses. [...]

]]> By: EXCELER8ion - Online recruitment marketing, social media optimization, and interactive advertising http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-12282 EXCELER8ion - Online recruitment marketing, social media optimization, and interactive advertising Sun, 31 Dec 2006 18:02:28 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/12/28/the-difficult-convergence-work-and-family-by-age-30/#comment-12282 [...] The difficult convergence: Work and family by age 30 » Brazen Careerist So today many women find themselves in a position where they are struggling to line up a grand convergence of career, marriage and motherhood within a couple of years of age thirty. Lia Macko says, “In the past, women had kids when they were lower in th (tags: work-life-balance Career work women) [...] [...] The difficult convergence: Work and family by age 30 » Brazen Careerist So today many women find themselves in a position where they are struggling to line up a grand convergence of career, marriage and motherhood within a couple of years of age thirty. Lia Macko says, “In the past, women had kids when they were lower in th (tags: work-life-balance Career work women) [...]

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