Comments on: Answering the question 'What do you do?' http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sat, 20 Mar 2010 03:34:04 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Charlie http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-110068 Charlie Sun, 28 Oct 2007 00:57:35 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-110068 When I quit teaching but still received a paycheck during the subsequent summer, I told people I was a SOCIALITE and left it at that. In truth, all I did that summer was go out, lay by the beach, work out, and travel, so I really felt like a socialite. I was moving in the fall, and I didn't plan on looking for a job until I was in the new city. But you wouldn't believe how uncomfortable some people were with my answer! It was like they were offended that someone would willfully not work and be happy about it. Or maybe they were so jealous that it made them angry. Some would probe me for more information about what I used to do and others were obsessed with finding out what I wanted to do in the future. What I really wanted to do in the future was continue to not work and get paid for it, but I didn't like to spoil my illusion of being a socialite with details of my professional past and future. I just wanted to enjoy my summer of freedom! When I quit teaching but still received a paycheck during the subsequent summer, I told people I was a SOCIALITE and left it at that. In truth, all I did that summer was go out, lay by the beach, work out, and travel, so I really felt like a socialite. I was moving in the fall, and I didn't plan on looking for a job until I was in the new city.

But you wouldn't believe how uncomfortable some people were with my answer! It was like they were offended that someone would willfully not work and be happy about it. Or maybe they were so jealous that it made them angry.

Some would probe me for more information about what I used to do and others were obsessed with finding out what I wanted to do in the future. What I really wanted to do in the future was continue to not work and get paid for it, but I didn't like to spoil my illusion of being a socialite with details of my professional past and future. I just wanted to enjoy my summer of freedom!

]]> By: Be memorable by telling good stories about yourself » Brazen Careerist http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-23417 Be memorable by telling good stories about yourself » Brazen Careerist Sun, 04 Feb 2007 16:22:12 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-23417 [...] When someone says, “So tell me about yourself,” a lot of people stumble. When you craft your answer, you have 10 million hours of information to choose from. Many people actually hate getting this question because it’s so hard to zero-in on an answer. [...] [...] When someone says, "So tell me about yourself," a lot of people stumble. When you craft your answer, you have 10 million hours of information to choose from. Many people actually hate getting this question because it's so hard to zero-in on an answer. [...]

]]> By: Jason Alba http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4681 Jason Alba Sun, 03 Dec 2006 08:26:55 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4681 great post - some thoughts: 1. The problem I had was that I was the General Manager of a software company, and loved being the GM. But when I got laid off, the what do you do became "I'm looking for a job/I'm unemployed/I don't work"... not only was it wierd but "what do you do" became "who are you". I've since realized that you can't association yourself (or your self worth) to your JOB TITLE! 2. You can twist your response based on company "I work at XYZ...", title "I am a GM...", project "I'm working on designing a new...", specialty "I'm a blogger/speaker, etc...."... I think that different situations require different responses - and you should be prepared for various responses. I love Miranda's actor story - I think that this is what she wants to do, what she is passionate about, and really how she wants to identify herself. The question "can you make a living doing it" and "is this who you are" are really 2 different questions - I think that Miranda has nothing to be ashamed of. Didn't ol' Harrison Ford work as a custodian before the Star Wars gig????? Do you think he said "I'm a janitor" or "I'm an actor"??? Go Miranda!!! great post – some thoughts:

1. The problem I had was that I was the General Manager of a software company, and loved being the GM. But when I got laid off, the what do you do became "I'm looking for a job/I'm unemployed/I don't work"… not only was it wierd but "what do you do" became "who are you". I've since realized that you can't association yourself (or your self worth) to your JOB TITLE!

2. You can twist your response based on company "I work at XYZ…", title "I am a GM…", project "I'm working on designing a new…", specialty "I'm a blogger/speaker, etc…."… I think that different situations require different responses – and you should be prepared for various responses.

I love Miranda's actor story – I think that this is what she wants to do, what she is passionate about, and really how she wants to identify herself. The question "can you make a living doing it" and "is this who you are" are really 2 different questions – I think that Miranda has nothing to be ashamed of. Didn't ol' Harrison Ford work as a custodian before the Star Wars gig????? Do you think he said "I'm a janitor" or "I'm an actor"??? Go Miranda!!!

]]> By: Miranda http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4517 Miranda Sat, 02 Dec 2006 09:18:19 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4517 Hi Penelope: Emily's comment reminds me of one particular example from my own experience: A few years ago, I was invited to a longtime friend (now more of an acquaintance)'s engagement party. Most of the men and women there were solidly career-track lawyers and politicos. One charming guest asked me what I "was". I often find that "civilians" find my vocation a refreshing change from the norm. And yet, when I replied, "An actor", my new friend had the good manners to ask me if I "could make [my]living at that". I stammered "No" and then, embarrassed, felt compelled to reveal my day job as proof of... something. The guy was a boor, but from him I learned the value of a little dress rehearsal for your cocktail party chatter. Next time, I will say No, and smile. Thanks for your great blog, Miranda Hi Penelope:

Emily's comment reminds me of one particular example from my own experience:

A few years ago, I was invited to a longtime friend (now more of an acquaintance)'s engagement party. Most of the men and women there were solidly career-track lawyers and politicos. One charming guest asked me what I "was". I often find that "civilians" find my vocation a refreshing change from the norm. And yet, when I replied, "An actor", my new friend had the good manners to ask me if I "could make [my]living at that".

I stammered "No" and then, embarrassed, felt compelled to reveal my day job as proof of… something.

The guy was a boor, but from him I learned the value of a little dress rehearsal for your cocktail party chatter. Next time, I will say No, and smile.

Thanks for your great blog,
Miranda

]]> By: Cara http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4330 Cara Fri, 01 Dec 2006 21:50:27 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4330 I need to burn Penelope's latest comment into my brain so I don't lose my nerve when I make the career leap into the unknown. Thank you! I need to burn Penelope's latest comment into my brain so I don't lose my nerve when I make the career leap into the unknown. Thank you!

]]> By: Penelope Trunk http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4320 Penelope Trunk Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:11:05 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4320 What great comments! Thank you everyone. Emily makes a point that I wish I had thought to make -- after you answer The Question, the person's response has more to do with who they are than with who you are. What great comments! Thank you everyone.

Emily makes a point that I wish I had thought to make — after you answer The Question, the person's response has more to do with who they are than with who you are.

]]> By: Mary http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4319 Mary Fri, 01 Dec 2006 17:07:39 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4319 I am always asking "What do you do" or "What does your partner do" because I am hoping to form a connection with that person. I would be delighted if someone said "I don't know, but I'm interested in learning everything I can about leading theories in consciousness." or Indian cooking or starting my own business-- I think people ask the question because they want to find out commonalities. I've always wished people would wear T-shirts listing 3 to 5 ideas that intrigue them, or their favorite hobbies--because it would be so much easier to talk about what matters rather building from rote answers to rote questions. I am always asking "What do you do" or "What does your partner do" because I am hoping to form a connection with that person. I would be delighted if someone said "I don't know, but I'm interested in learning everything I can about leading theories in consciousness." or Indian cooking or starting my own business–

I think people ask the question because they want to find out commonalities. I've always wished people would wear T-shirts listing 3 to 5 ideas that intrigue them, or their favorite hobbies–because it would be so much easier to talk about what matters rather building from rote answers to rote questions.

]]> By: Dale Harris http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4318 Dale Harris Fri, 01 Dec 2006 16:55:03 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4318 I loved this post! I often feel that pang of indecision/indigestion:) when asked, but I feel that I have no acceptable answer. Do I say that I keep stats for a dept. at a university (boring... and not what I want to do) or do I say that I am a children's board game creator and producer - also not an acceptable answer as I found out a few months ago when I told a family "friend" of my side business. His response was, "Do you really think that's a feasible proposition?" I've hated him ever since:) Pamela Slim's post titled, "So, what do you do for a living?" is great! I will structure my responds in that fashion alot more in the future, and to heck with the doubters. My only warning is beware of and PREPARED FOR those who do not appreciate you or your choice, it makes for an uncomfortable silence afterwards if you are judged negatively and aren't ready to respond. Dale P.S. To the anonym individual above who wrote, "That is exactly why the USA would go the way of the dodo (or, the way of the USSR) as far as leading the world is concerned. Fat + uncertain = no future." You've got it all wrong, the willingness admit and to explore one's areas of uncertainty/new horizons are precisely why the USA is strong. The USSR was exactly the opposite as is Cuba under Castro, but it's also one reason China is reinventing itself. I loved this post! I often feel that pang of indecision/indigestion:) when asked, but I feel that I have no acceptable answer. Do I say that I keep stats for a dept. at a university (boring… and not what I want to do) or do I say that I am a children's board game creator and producer – also not an acceptable answer as I found out a few months ago when I told a family "friend" of my side business. His response was, "Do you really think that's a feasible proposition?" I've hated him ever since:)
Pamela Slim's post titled, "So, what do you do for a living?" is great! I will structure my responds in that fashion alot more in the future, and to heck with the doubters. My only warning is beware of and PREPARED FOR those who do not appreciate you or your choice, it makes for an uncomfortable silence afterwards if you are judged negatively and aren't ready to respond.

Dale

P.S. To the anonym individual above who wrote, "That is exactly why the USA would go the way of the dodo (or, the way of the USSR) as far as leading the world is concerned. Fat + uncertain = no future." You've got it all wrong, the willingness admit and to explore one's areas of uncertainty/new horizons are precisely why the USA is strong. The USSR was exactly the opposite as is Cuba under Castro, but it's also one reason China is reinventing itself.

]]> By: Emily http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4316 Emily Fri, 01 Dec 2006 16:36:44 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4316 I agree that presenting what you'd like to be doing helps get you there mentally, though it's not quite that simple. Re. social acceptability - it's tough when the people you'd like to network with are firmly planted in cube world, the federal government kind in particular. I've found people's reactions to my leaving my cushy job to explore writing/consulting and music (both creative pursuits) is colored by their own fear of taking a risk, leaving behind health insurance and pension, etc. The other part of their reaction - and this could be my own insecurity, but I don't think so - seems to be that I'm a flake. I agree that presenting what you'd like to be doing helps get you there mentally, though it's not quite that simple.

Re. social acceptability – it's tough when the people you'd like to network with are firmly planted in cube world, the federal government kind in particular. I've found people's reactions to my leaving my cushy job to explore writing/consulting and music (both creative pursuits) is colored by their own fear of taking a risk, leaving behind health insurance and pension, etc. The other part of their reaction – and this could be my own insecurity, but I don't think so – seems to be that I'm a flake.

]]> By: Dave http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/comment-page-1/#comment-4312 Dave Fri, 01 Dec 2006 14:11:45 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/11/30/anwering-the-question-what-do-you-do/#comment-4312 Yes, I hate that question too, but some of the discomfort is due to the assumption that all they are asking is what your job status is. Another approach is to consider it a broader question, not just assume what the person means is limited to "what is your job?" and answer with what you are currently most excited about doing in your life. But you still need a pitch ready--otherwise people will think you are a dork when you don't "play along" and provide the expected response. Yes, I hate that question too, but some of the discomfort is due to the assumption that all they are asking is what your job status is. Another approach is to consider it a broader question, not just assume what the person means is limited to "what is your job?" and answer with what you are currently most excited about doing in your life. But you still need a pitch ready–otherwise people will think you are a dork when you don't "play along" and provide the expected response.

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