I think the differentiation is important because having a blog is about defining yourself publicly. If you post incessantly about motherhood then, yes, people are not going to take you as seriously when you post about career topics. That's not to say you can't have 2 blogs — one about motherhood, one about careers. Or whatever. But I think you're right, Penelope, to exercise some separation on your blog.

This is obviously a gender issue but it's important for men too. I'm a father, and a blogger, and I blog about my daughter occasionally, but I don't do it too much because I don't want to be pigeonholed as a Daddyblogger. Plus I value my child's privacy.

I am just longing for the day that women will support each other regardless of what career path they have chosen/been thrust into/are walking. The instant we can do that, we become stronger than any one group could ever become!

Love this discussion! That is what will open doors and open eyes!

I think the goal should be that we do not have labels for parents and careerists. I think the goal is that everyone who wants to be both can be both in a way that fulfills the parents and meets the kids' needs. But we're not there. REALLY not there. So we have lables while we are getting there.

I am writing a huge comment to say that 1) I like labels and 2) I like the debate.

I actually find labels really helpful. We have to be able to categorize people to make our world manageable, so we have to be able to label them. (Daniel Gilbert, Harvard psychologists, talks about how this is human nature. I believe that.)

So the issue is not IF we label people, but HOW we label them.

You reveal a lot about yourself by how you label the world.

For example, you could say, of a smart, beautiful, Protestant girl: "That Protestant girl" or "That smart girl." If you don't know her name, you have to have some other way to describe her, and that seems fine.

So I don't mind being labeled. I also don't mind playing the label game. We each have different attributes and we can focus on the attribute that helps the most at a given time.

There is a practical side of labels, too. If you have to support a family, and you have five labels to choose from, why not emphasize the one that brings in the most money? It doesn't change who you are, it just changes how much money you have in your bank account.

Finally, for me, there is an important aspect to the career girl vs. stay-at-home mom debate. I think the debate needs to be there, and be there honestly before we can move forward on the work/family issues.

There is a lot of evidence that says that it is better for the kid if the mom stays at home for the first three years. The evidence is clear that it is the mom and not the dad, and the evdience has been quantified in many different ways.

I feel like I am in a unique spot in this discussion becuase I work — primary breadwinner of the family — and I have young kids at home with my husband, and I'm willing to admit that the science does not support me.

The labels are useful so we can tell who is talking in the debate. The debate needs to continue so that we, as a capitalist society, can come up with something that works for families.

One of the things that comes up so often,came up here:

"But, when you get a group of women together, the stay-at-home moms separate from the career moms. So it's no surprise that the moms divided here, too."

For 14 years, being a stay at home mom was my career. And, yes, I was one of those moms who when asked what she did would answer with both pride and shame because there is a line drawn between work that earns a paycheck and work that does not. Now, that career as a stay at home mom has lead directly to a dream career in writing.

I would love to have asked about something pertaining to my previous career or the world I had before motherhood or something so outrageously hip and cutting edge that everyone would have gasped. But my "previous career" was a college student. (Unless you want to count when I delivered balloons and popcorn, but I really don't want to count that.)

So I asked her a question about what I knew, what I lived and what I wanted to her take on.

What I wish I had asked her now: "How can women finally get passed this utter bullshit of "us vs them", "working vs non-working", "moms vs. child free", "married vs. single". "straight vs. lesbain" and for the love of all things with 2 X chromosomes, start supporting each other because we can and should?!"

I am so over labels. (Aren't all of us?) I am so over "What kind of blogger are you?" I am so over all of it. I am a woman. I am a blogger. I am a mom. I guess I am just to the point of: put whatever label you want on me, just read me if you like me, comment if you want to and let's get this party started. So to speak.

Please know, this rant is NOT directed at you in any way, shape or form. I loved being on the call with you and getting to know these other women better through the call. I love how each of us brought a different flavor to it. Great, great way to get people thinking and talking!

Sarah – Often I interview researchers at Catalyst Organization (women's think tank) and they always tell me that people who do best with kids/work/decisions are those who confront them early, where you are — young, single, childless, and (based on my sampling of your blog) frenetically trying new things.

Catherine – I have really enjoyed all the hoop-la surrounding the Gloria call. My favorite quote of the week is from you: Back the fuck off Gloria.

Thanks for a great recap of an amazing call. It has been fun to read how all of us perceived it and what we took away from spending an hour with a true revolutionary.

You are right that I wanted to clearly state the flavor and intent of my blog, mostly to give context to my question. I embrace the fact that I am able to work and write from home while my little one either plays around me or hangs out with the babysitter downstairs. I don't shy away from talking about being a self-employed parent since that is what many of my readers aim to be. But I do shy away from calling myself a "woman blogger" or "mommy blogger," just because I want to be known for the content of my work. I don't judge anyone who chooses to identify herself that way – if it feels good, do it!

My sister in law, who holds a post-doctorate from Cal Tech in isotope geochemistry, is a bi-racial female university professor in a very male-dominated field. She said to me one Christmas "I don't want to be known as a good woman scientist, or a good half-asian, half latina scientist, I want to be known as a GOOD SCIENTIST."

I think having a choice of how we define ourselves is one thing that Gloria Steinem has fought for all these years. Instead of getting perturbed by it, I consider it a blessing to have options.