Comments on: How to choose a career to get the lifestyle you want http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sun, 20 Jul 2008 22:25:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Penelope Trunk http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-918 Penelope Trunk Sun, 20 Aug 2006 14:37:14 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-918 AJ, I love your comment. It makes me think there are two trends about to happen (happening already?): 1. People will move out of big cities because big cities limit people to career paths that pay well enough for expensive-city housing. 2. An entrepreneurial boom in small cities where people will need to create their own dream jobs in order to get out of the big city and still have fulfilling work. AJ, I love your comment. It makes me think there are two trends about to happen (happening already?):

1. People will move out of big cities because big cities limit people to career paths that pay well enough for expensive-city housing.

2. An entrepreneurial boom in small cities where people will need to create their own dream jobs in order to get out of the big city and still have fulfilling work.

]]> By: AJ http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-917 AJ Fri, 18 Aug 2006 16:51:54 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-917 Dave, can I just say, Amen Brother! I bought the book "I Don't Know What I want to Do, But I Know It's Not This," which is filled with sort of "get to know yourself" tests. And once, my employer had a workshop where all of us managers did the very famous personality test psychologists use so we could know how to be more effective. All I have to say is, Big Whoop. Knowing yourself and knowing what kind of job makes you happy is great if you live in NYC or L.A. where there are tons of employers to choose from. But for those of us who don't live in a city, particularly small towns with few employers, options are very limited unless you want to open your own business. So I think Penelope is right in her subsequent post, it's more about figuring out which things to sacrafice, and which are most important. Dave, can I just say, Amen Brother!

I bought the book “I Don’t Know What I want to Do, But I Know It’s Not This,” which is filled with sort of “get to know yourself” tests. And once, my employer had a workshop where all of us managers did the very famous personality test psychologists use so we could know how to be more effective.

All I have to say is, Big Whoop.

Knowing yourself and knowing what kind of job makes you happy is great if you live in NYC or L.A. where there are tons of employers to choose from. But for those of us who don’t live in a city, particularly small towns with few employers, options are very limited unless you want to open your own business.

So I think Penelope is right in her subsequent post, it’s more about figuring out which things to sacrafice, and which are most important.

]]> By: Jasmine http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-916 Jasmine Thu, 17 Aug 2006 06:09:54 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-916 It was very good summary from you Penelope. Just want to add that while it's very important for us to realize that no one and no job can meet all our needs, I reckon we should at the same time remind to ouselves that this applies to each of us as well - meaning probably as a partner and/or employee we also have rooms to improve.... It was very good summary from you Penelope. Just want to add that while it’s very important for us to realize that no one and no job can meet all our needs, I reckon we should at the same time remind to ouselves that this applies to each of us as well - meaning probably as a partner and/or employee we also have rooms to improve….

]]> By: Penelope Trunk http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-915 Penelope Trunk Thu, 17 Aug 2006 04:25:57 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-915 What great comments these are! I sense a theme: A job is like a boyfriend/girlfriend in that it is always disappointing. I mean, no one can meet all our needs, and no job can meet all our needs. I think one of the reasons that being married and finding the right job are two of the hardest parts of adult life is that they are both inherently disappointing. They both require us to give up some stuff that we wanted. The trick, in doing both tasks successfully, I think, is knowing yourself well enough to know what you can give up. What great comments these are! I sense a theme: A job is like a boyfriend/girlfriend in that it is always disappointing. I mean, no one can meet all our needs, and no job can meet all our needs. I think one of the reasons that being married and finding the right job are two of the hardest parts of adult life is that they are both inherently disappointing. They both require us to give up some stuff that we wanted. The trick, in doing both tasks successfully, I think, is knowing yourself well enough to know what you can give up.

]]> By: Dave http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-914 Dave Wed, 16 Aug 2006 16:02:16 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-914 Sorry to double post, but I could not resist after following that link to the personality test. Personality tests are useless. I have known that I am an INTJ all my life and while it is entertaining to read about what a great type that is, it doesn't really do anything to help me figure out what to do with my life, how to get out of the job I hate and still provide for my family. Sorry to double post, but I could not resist after following that link to the personality test. Personality tests are useless. I have known that I am an INTJ all my life and while it is entertaining to read about what a great type that is, it doesn’t really do anything to help me figure out what to do with my life, how to get out of the job I hate and still provide for my family.

]]> By: Dave http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-913 Dave Wed, 16 Aug 2006 15:55:06 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-913 Sounds like a great idea...and I don't mean that in an entirely cynical way...but it is hard enough to find rewarding work, let alone have it be flexible to allow you to have a life, AND have it pay enough money to afford to live in the Boston suburbs and raise a family. When you reach a six-figure income and are breakeven month-to-month, it makes flexibility a real challenge. Sounds like a great idea…and I don’t mean that in an entirely cynical way…but it is hard enough to find rewarding work, let alone have it be flexible to allow you to have a life, AND have it pay enough money to afford to live in the Boston suburbs and raise a family. When you reach a six-figure income and are breakeven month-to-month, it makes flexibility a real challenge.

]]> By: AJ http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-912 AJ Wed, 16 Aug 2006 15:07:40 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-912 Oh, I want so badly to be one of those people -- like my Dad -- who can just go to work. But I've tried and I think it only works when you have a straightforward 40-hour per week job -- and a lot of those clock-in, clock-out jobs are just not satisfying to anyone who wants to have some type of career-track job. I mean, working AT LEAST 9-10 hours a day (and the best hours of the day, mind you), and sleeping 6-7 hours a night leaves most people with a short period of 7 p.m. to bedtime in which to "have a life." I wish that going to work was just a check box on my daily to-do list, but honestly, it consumes my whole day and all of my daily allowance of mental energy! So for me at least, the quest continues to find a job that I don't mind making an integral part of my life. Oh, I want so badly to be one of those people — like my Dad — who can just go to work. But I’ve tried and I think it only works when you have a straightforward 40-hour per week job — and a lot of those clock-in, clock-out jobs are just not satisfying to anyone who wants to have some type of career-track job.

I mean, working AT LEAST 9-10 hours a day (and the best hours of the day, mind you), and sleeping 6-7 hours a night leaves most people with a short period of 7 p.m. to bedtime in which to “have a life.” I wish that going to work was just a check box on my daily to-do list, but honestly, it consumes my whole day and all of my daily allowance of mental energy!

So for me at least, the quest continues to find a job that I don’t mind making an integral part of my life.

]]> By: Diana http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-911 Diana Wed, 16 Aug 2006 14:09:54 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-911 "[E]ach portion of your life caters to a different aspect of your personality." "'Can we work and have a life?'â€? "[T]here is never one crazy person in a marriage." These statements, and many others in your posts, reinforce my theory that a career is a lot like a love life. Sounds strange, perhaps, but it really makes me laugh sometimes when I think of the similarities. We all want a perfect job, just as we all want a perfect partner: fulfilling, supportive, good listener, responsive to our needs, gives us our space to "have a life" outside of the job/relationship, etc. Similarly, just as one job will never give us everything we want out of life, it is just as impossible to think that one person will ever cater to all aspects of our personalities. That's why we have friends and hobbies. That's why (most of us) date more than one person in our life, have more than one career in our life... we're experimenting to get the best possible fit. I also appreciate your analogy to this in your previous post about the text-message firing. Sometimes people are in bad relationships, and sometimes people are in bad jobs. Many people have a tendency to please and be accepted, so it's difficult to separate yourself from a bad situation before it gets worse. Jobs and partners can belittle you, take advantage of you, abuse your fear of being fired/dumped, etc. Firings and quittings can be just as emotional as break-ups. Sometimes they are angry and accusatory: "You cheated on me! I never want to see you again!", "You embezzled money from us! I want you out of here by the end of the day!" Sometimes they can be a mutual agreement to "pursue other opportunities" because things just weren't working out. Everyone strives for peacable break-ups/firings, to stay on good terms with your former partner/boss. Oh, I could go on forever...! “[E]ach portion of your life caters to a different aspect of your personality.”
“‘Can we work and have a life?’â€?
“[T]here is never one crazy person in a marriage.”

These statements, and many others in your posts, reinforce my theory that a career is a lot like a love life. Sounds strange, perhaps, but it really makes me laugh sometimes when I think of the similarities.

We all want a perfect job, just as we all want a perfect partner: fulfilling, supportive, good listener, responsive to our needs, gives us our space to “have a life” outside of the job/relationship, etc.

Similarly, just as one job will never give us everything we want out of life, it is just as impossible to think that one person will ever cater to all aspects of our personalities. That’s why we have friends and hobbies. That’s why (most of us) date more than one person in our life, have more than one career in our life… we’re experimenting to get the best possible fit.

I also appreciate your analogy to this in your previous post about the text-message firing. Sometimes people are in bad relationships, and sometimes people are in bad jobs. Many people have a tendency to please and be accepted, so it’s difficult to separate yourself from a bad situation before it gets worse. Jobs and partners can belittle you, take advantage of you, abuse your fear of being fired/dumped, etc.

Firings and quittings can be just as emotional as break-ups. Sometimes they are angry and accusatory: “You cheated on me! I never want to see you again!”, “You embezzled money from us! I want you out of here by the end of the day!” Sometimes they can be a mutual agreement to “pursue other opportunities” because things just weren’t working out. Everyone strives for peacable break-ups/firings, to stay on good terms with your former partner/boss.

Oh, I could go on forever…!

]]> By: serena http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-910 serena Wed, 16 Aug 2006 13:53:13 +0000 http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/08/16/how-to-choose-a-career-to-get-the-lifestyle-you-want/#comment-910 Great post. Right now I am working in a job that I don't particularly enjoy, but gives me great flexibility. (work from home)I am afraid that if I pursue a job that I will enjoy i will be much more restricted in doing things I have come to enjoy- I'm not relishing the idea of going to work for 9 hours a day in a cube farm, but what I am doing now is not making me happy. Decisions, decisions. Great post. Right now I am working in a job that I don’t particularly enjoy, but gives me great flexibility. (work from home)I am afraid that if I pursue a job that I will enjoy i will be much more restricted in doing things I have come to enjoy- I’m not relishing the idea of going to work for 9 hours a day in a cube farm, but what I am doing now is not making me happy. Decisions, decisions.

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