Comments on: You will like your job more if you make a friend at work

By: sandip

sandip — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 10:03:26 +0000

I do agree that friends are for ever and it lasts long.So making friends at working will help to work friendly and easily.

By: betty kaplan

betty kaplan — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:27:40 +0000

I made three good friends at my previous job that I was at for 10 years. We are all still very close.

I have been at a new job for 5 months and made one good friend who started two weeks before i did.

I felt that we shared our hopes and fears when we were both new, but now I realize tht she considers me merely a co worker while all this time I have perhaps been too presumptuous to actually consider her a true friend.

Now I am hurt and will probably back off, since my “friend” has sort of let me know that she does not consider me a friend.

Yes, work relationships are tricky, when i compare this friendship to those with whom I have shared my life for over 15 and twenty years, my husband, my best friend from college, and a handful of others who mean the world to me, i realize that if I left this new job tomorrow, there would be noone there with whom I would keep in touch. I am saddenned by this, but I need to make a living there, and I realize that at times I have lost my boundaries, cried to a few people andlooked quite unstable. I am still there because my work is quite good as a paralegal and I have a specialized skill in a very particular legal area.

I am lucky,because I have learned that I must become more professional in order to get the respect that my job performance actually merits.

The only good thing is that the firm I am in is a bit eclectic, creative, and esoteric, and no one there seems none too stable. I might actually be ahead of some despite my dramatic behavior.

I appreciate the place because in a sense I feel that I fit in well. but i am quite disappointed that the friend I thought I had made regarded me as a mere co-worker. That was truly an eye opener.

By: Dave Allen

Dave Allen — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 03:52:36 +0000

This article made me go call my friend at work and tell her just how much I appreciate her.

By: They know who they are

They know who they are — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 02:22:49 +0000

Well, let me tell you, when you are in a really small town, it is hard enough to get a job that pays the bill, let a lone one that you can have friends at work besides. Where I work everyone is VERY “clique’ish” as far as the professional staff versus the support staff. You cant really be friends with the professional staff, because you dont have a “degree”, so you are below them, and they are not afraid to let you know it. So that leaves the rest of the staff, and they can’t be trusted with any information you give them, so you dont dare discuss personal things with them, unless you want everyone to know it. No I cant just not work, work isnt always about friends, sure it would help, but keep in mind that the friends at work are not going pay your bills.

By: Mark

Mark — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 01:10:23 +0000

It’s hard enough landing a job at all, let alone finding one that has enough people and the right types in it to make a friend or two. That’s what I love about advice and self-help books. The advice they dole out doesn’t actually have to work in the real-world, it just has to sound good to appeal to the masses.

By: guess who

guess who — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 17:39:12 +0000

So, as someone who has never needed a huge circle of friends, I can count on one hand the people I actually think of as friends, and they are all people I work with. I know who I can trust, and who I can’t.

As for “clique-ish”, my office has that in spades, but it is the “over-achievers” who are always looking down at those of us who work just as hard, and yet don’t yield nearly the same results in production. And it doesn’t help that our number one “producer” is so far up the supervisor’s backside that it would take a proctologist to dislodge her! Plus this manager and number one producer are such friends that they are always going to lunch together and discussing things about other employees that managers should not discuss with anyone but the employee in question.

The world is basically like the sandbox we all played in as children. Nothing changes, we just think it does.

By: sherry

sherry — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 15:35:52 +0000

Unfortunately, I work in an environment that is very ‘clique’-ish. These nasties are not particularly good at what they do and are very jealous of those that are good at what they do. Unfortunately, these people have the boss’ back. I plan to look elsewhere. It is lonely, and miserable not having a friend to have lunch with or comiserate with. I usually have to leave the buidling during breaks. It is so negative! I was once in a building with up-beat, friendly people. I was happy, healthy and I noticed that my personal life was better, as well. Don’t remain at a job just for the paycheck–negativity spreads faster than anything. For your health and well-being of yourself and your family, find something else. A future buddy may be feeling the same way right now and is waiting for your arrival!

By: i work in a pharmacy

i work in a pharmacy — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 22:18:12 +0000

everyone gets along great at my work. people are
smiling ear to ear all day long, joking around,
trying to prove what a great time they’re having
and how we all like each other. however, as soon
as these people punch out, they’re all dead to
each other. i just don’t get this fakeness. why
try so hard to be “friends” at work, when we all
know that there is nothing behind it?

it seems that in certain professions, like art or music, it would be easier to make friends friends because your work life could become your life life if you love it enough. i wish i had a job like that. in a so called professional environment, i am finding it impossible to make real friends. in fact, i haven’t made any new friends since college, and that was five years ago. it’s really sad.

* * * * * * *

I like this comment. People don’t write about this enough. I should write about this…

Edith, it *is* really hard how to figure out how to make real friends after college. School is so totally optimized for making friends. And adult life is so different than school — work is so different than school - that you have to teach yourself new patterns and new tactics for friendships. It’s a very hard transition period.

One of the most at-risk groups for depression is recent grads. I tell you this to let you know how common it is to feel like you do - that making friends after graduation is hard.

It happens, though. It happens slower. And the result, I have found, is that after college, when I have made a new, close friend, it has made me incredibly happy, becuse I know how hard it is to do.

Good luck, Edith.

-Penelope

By: Logtar

Logtar — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:35:00 +0000

Very good post, it is right on the money!

I have found that when I have a good friend at work, the job does become happier however, a bad job, even your best friend cannot help. Getting a job with your best friend can sometimes spell disaster.

By: Norma Andersen

Norma Andersen — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 19:17:31 +0000

My dear i love to work with people who i can makes a lot off friend and help those who should get help by the one who have more than the other. My dreams was to goes and work for the red kors them but i Did not had that skills as the others have. but I have two hands and a heart, because i comes from the poor class just like you and many other who are sitting on the top off the iceberg.
One day i will meet there. It is just time. I love to write to a friend who undersatnd about this unkind world we are living. I hope you find me a friend.
Yours truly N. Andersen