Comments on: Networking for a new generation: Be authentic http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:01:49 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: SlomsSpoorb http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-204285 SlomsSpoorb Mon, 28 Sep 2009 07:01:43 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-204285 Thank you for great post! Thank you for great post!

]]> By: 6 strategies to make networking less awkward and more productive | TalentEgg Career Incubator http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-186414 6 strategies to make networking less awkward and more productive | TalentEgg Career Incubator Thu, 28 May 2009 15:21:19 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-186414 [...] about those connections that are important to you – who knows where the future will take you, and who you might need (or who might need you, big shot!) along the [...] [...] about those connections that are important to you – who knows where the future will take you, and who you might need (or who might need you, big shot!) along the [...]

]]> By: Anatomy of a networking email « Courting Your Career http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-184481 Anatomy of a networking email « Courting Your Career Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:44:18 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-184481 [...] you craft your message, ask yourself what you’re hoping to accomplish by contacting them. Are you hoping to learn more about a particular career path or company? Or are [...] [...] you craft your message, ask yourself what you’re hoping to accomplish by contacting them. Are you hoping to learn more about a particular career path or company? Or are [...]

]]> By: John http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-183426 John Wed, 08 Apr 2009 22:09:05 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-183426 Is an portion of this taken from nytimes journalist David Brooks? It sounds familiar... from "bobos in paradise," perhaps? Is an portion of this taken from nytimes journalist David Brooks? It sounds familiar… from "bobos in paradise," perhaps?

]]> By: Jason http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-182286 Jason Wed, 11 Mar 2009 20:10:12 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-182286 I had a similar problem several years ago, and I got some advice I didn't want to hear at the time: you need to leave that job and get a new one where you can be promoted. I wound up quitting, and getting a higher-level job at a new company. In essence, I got the promotion I wanted, just not at the company I wanted it at. It was absolutely the right thing to do. My unsolicited advice is to <strong>think long and hard</strong> before you decide to spend your time and energy trying to remake yourself in the eyes of your colleagues. In my experience it is not usually possible within a reasonable timeframe. Good luck. I had a similar problem several years ago, and I got some advice I didn't want to hear at the time: you need to leave that job and get a new one where you can be promoted. I wound up quitting, and getting a higher-level job at a new company. In essence, I got the promotion I wanted, just not at the company I wanted it at. It was absolutely the right thing to do. My unsolicited advice is to think long and hard before you decide to spend your time and energy trying to remake yourself in the eyes of your colleagues. In my experience it is not usually possible within a reasonable timeframe. Good luck.

]]> By: Uniqueness, Competition, And Success | Hackadelic http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-172790 Uniqueness, Competition, And Success | Hackadelic Sun, 09 Nov 2008 18:20:55 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-172790 [...] to stick to Your Way, once you’ve found it. And last but not least, it takes self-marketing - a lot of networking, and an art of bragging. All of these are gifts and skills we all compete at, and successful people [...] [...] to stick to Your Way, once you've found it. And last but not least, it takes self-marketing – a lot of networking, and an art of bragging. All of these are gifts and skills we all compete at, and successful people [...]

]]> By: Driving with Geoffrey Gilmore [Part 3 of 5] &raquo Coffee and Celluloid http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-149860 Driving with Geoffrey Gilmore [Part 3 of 5] &raquo Coffee and Celluloid Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:33:26 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-149860 [...] time it was just Geoffrey and I in the car, a scenario where I was wondering what would happen. What do we talk about? “So…you like [...] [...] time it was just Geoffrey and I in the car, a scenario where I was wondering what would happen. What do we talk about? "So…you like [...]

]]> By: Fazed http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-126657 Fazed Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:50:41 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-126657 My friend made a test on Facebook: he randomly clicked on his peoples lists of friends to see how long it would take to find someone he knew, too. It took him about 5 clicks. This proves that it's not just your friends and coworkers who are your social circle - their friends and families are, too! Our social circles are way bigger than we normally think they are. That little experiment made me finally understand how networking works and why I was having trouble: I should have relaxed, open myself and as you say, be authentic and connect with others. But instead I tried to be interesting and give people impressive reasons to like me... My friend made a test on Facebook: he randomly clicked on his peoples lists of friends to see how long it would take to find someone he knew, too. It took him about 5 clicks. This proves that it's not just your friends and coworkers who are your social circle – their friends and families are, too! Our social circles are way bigger than we normally think they are. That little experiment made me finally understand how networking works and why I was having trouble: I should have relaxed, open myself and as you say, be authentic and connect with others. But instead I tried to be interesting and give people impressive reasons to like me…

]]> By: perspicacious http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-86855 perspicacious Sat, 09 Jun 2007 14:41:33 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-86855 Ms Trunk, this has been an interesting read albeit typical. Just so I understand you. You are telling people that they should sacrafice themselves in-order to fit the social situation regardless. That they should adapt to the current master at any cost, in this case that master being the social network at work. This isn't a new trend it is as old as humans the only problem is it used to be implied but now it is driven. I have a better piece of advice for those poor hardworking, forgotten, unappreicated souls that will work their asses off and will never be 'liked' or rewarded in kind. The reason you, the worthy, are not liked is that you have true, not feigned, self-respect, you are your own person and you come to work to do a job and do well with pride and dignity and the folks that 'fit' well and are 'apparently' always liked, "usually" are that way because they are whores. So, no matter what you do to fit in they will always know you are your own person and they will never be. This causes an enormous amount of stress for them since they have submitted without question, and you won't. You see the problem now. Regardless of how nice you attempt to be that rift will always be there. This is why your best efforts to get-along, fit-in or be-liked have failed. Power over others is the only tool they have and since you have power over yourself and a strong sense of self-awareness they can't coerce your submission. Believe me, they don't like you. So, your options are to accept your position as worker and not player at work and take what gratification you can from the job you are doing since the company and it's social network are 'never' going to reward you appropriately. Your socializing takes place at home with family and hard won friends and that is where it'll have to stay since there are very few of you in the corporate work place. If you truly want to better your 'financial' lot in life then likely as not you'll have to go out on your own. Start a small company, grow it to a small powerhouse and sell it to the company you previously worked for since all chance of creativity there has been crushed by that ever expanding army of whores they are cultivating. This is why virtually all creative effort is done in isolation and NOTHING new will ever come out of a committee. Management by consensus is the only option for them now and the tumor will only get bigger. Sorry for the long winded pep-talk but Ms Truck isn't capable of it and I thought you deserved it. Ms Trunk, this has been an interesting read albeit typical. Just so I understand you. You are telling people that they should sacrafice themselves in-order to fit the social situation regardless. That they should adapt to the current master at any cost, in this case that master being the social network at work. This isn't a new trend it is as old as humans the only problem is it used to be implied but now it is driven.

I have a better piece of advice for those poor hardworking, forgotten, unappreicated souls that will work their asses off and will never be 'liked' or rewarded in kind. The reason you, the worthy, are not liked is that you have true, not feigned, self-respect, you are your own person and you come to work to do a job and do well with pride and dignity and the folks that 'fit' well and are 'apparently' always liked, "usually" are that way because they are whores. So, no matter what you do to fit in they will always know you are your own person and they will never be. This causes an enormous amount of stress for them since they have submitted without question, and you won't. You see the problem now. Regardless of how nice you attempt to be that rift will always be there. This is why your best efforts to get-along, fit-in or be-liked have failed. Power over others is the only tool they have and since you have power over yourself and a strong sense of self-awareness they can't coerce your submission. Believe me, they don't like you.

So, your options are to accept your position as worker and not player at work and take what gratification you can from the job you are doing since the company and it's social network are 'never' going to reward you appropriately. Your socializing takes place at home with family and hard won friends and that is where it'll have to stay since there are very few of you in the corporate work place. If you truly want to better your 'financial' lot in life then likely as not you'll have to go out on your own. Start a small company, grow it to a small powerhouse and sell it to the company you previously worked for since all chance of creativity there has been crushed by that ever expanding army of whores they are cultivating. This is why virtually all creative effort is done in isolation and NOTHING new will ever come out of a committee. Management by consensus is the only option for them now and the tumor will only get bigger. Sorry for the long winded pep-talk but Ms Truck isn't capable of it and I thought you deserved it.

]]> By: Charles E. Martin http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/comment-page-1/#comment-80408 Charles E. Martin Fri, 01 Jun 2007 16:22:03 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/07/02/networking-for-a-new-generation-be-authentic/#comment-80408 God, how I wish I could be liked at work. I bust my balls, and I generally want to be a nice person. There is not one evil bone in my body. I am kind to the helpless, the widow, and the orphan. I don't know what it is , but people sneak up to the supervisor behind my back at tell him "I don't want to work with Charles Martin", and I never know why! ******** <em>Charles, I'm really sorry that work is so hard for you. When you know you are not liked, and you know you want to change it, but you can't, it's time to get professional help. It's not always clear when our work problems need a career coach and when they need a psychologist/social worker. This problem needs the latter. We can all figure out how to be likable. It comes more easily to some of us than others. Everyone needs help with something, though. None of us is perfect. I add this last part to encourage you to get help because needing help is so normal. -- Penelope </em>   God, how I wish I could be liked at work. I bust my balls, and I generally want to be a nice person. There is not one evil bone in my body. I am kind to the helpless, the widow, and the orphan.

I don't know what it is , but people sneak up to the supervisor behind my back at tell him "I don't want to work with Charles Martin", and I never know why!

********

Charles,
I'm really sorry that work is so hard for you. When you know you are not
liked, and you know you want to change it, but you can't, it's time to get
professional help.

It's not always clear when our work problems need a career coach and when
they need a psychologist/social worker. This problem needs the latter. We
can all figure out how to be likable. It comes more easily to some of us
than others. Everyone needs help with something, though. None of us is
perfect. I add this last part to encourage you to get help because needing
help is so normal.

– Penelope

 

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