Ps. My mom was 35 when I was born and I don't have down syndrome.

I wanted to see what your advice would be….

My husband and I met when I was 18 and he was 19. We got engaged two years later, and was engaged for one year. We got married at 21 and 22 and have been married for almost two years, we really do feel like we are each other soul mates/best friends.

I am currently going to school to become a Physician Assistance and he wants to pursue music. We are both really supporting to one anothers career goals. I want to be done with PA school at 28 and he wants to see where his music goes for about three years and then he has a back up plan to be a correctional officer and rise within the correctional system.

Where do you think we should fit having kids in? We both agreed on 2, maybe 3 depending on finances and being able to spend time with them and alone time.

Should I wait until I am done with school at 28 and have kids? Or should I have kids while in school? I was worried about getting pregnant and then maybe prospective employers will not want to hire me?

We both really want kids but are really happy with our career choices and the direction life is going in, we are trying to make this a nice transition.

Any advice would be great!!

Thank you,

KH

Having kids is great. I have one and she is amazing. However, what I relish even more than my daughter is my wife and our family. We are 45 and have been married 17 years, been together 20 years.

Being married is hard work. Raising a family is hard work. Staying together is hard work. So many people today are products of divorce and do not place high value in marriage; it is sad.

I see women all the time who put off relationships for career and are now characters in SITC and cannot find a guy anywhere.

I also see women that possess a mile-long checklist the guy has to meet with 100% compliance. They stay single too.

My wife and I are so different than when we were 28. We were "green" and had no idea about what it took to be a couple. Having a baby then adds complexity. I was 31 and clueless. Now at 45, I have a teenager and I am STILL clueless; but I have some knowledge and my wife and I are more in love and committed than ever.

Life is a path; a work in progress that is NEVER finished. People need to enjoy the present and not take for granted the little things. It passes by so fast. You have no idea.

One day your baby is crawling around the floor and the next, she is complaining that she is the "last girl on the planet without an iPhone." Life happens.

I have had careers highs and lows and when you endure the lows with someone who loves you and has yoru back, the highs seem so much better.

Great article, great blog.

Fell in love at 15 w/fellow student at boarding school. Been together since (married when he graduated college at 20 & I was 19)–had 2 children when he was in grad school & doing a post doc while I went undergrad part-time & worked nights as a checker at a grocery store.

We were broke but made it happen! It was our greatest joy to raise our children (homeschooled them, too).

But we were on a very tight budget (1 car; husband rode bike to work w/a sack lunch I prepared). Bought clothes at Goodwill. I also homeschooled a couple other children w/my own.

Saved money for their college (but they both got full rides undergrad & graduate studies for academics to Stanford, Duke, Vanderbilt, & SMU law school). Husband has a Ph.D. so I'm sure his genetics helped.

I, myself, dropped out of college in the middle of my junior year to focus on the kids. No TV. Lots of parental involvement & books & spending money on experiences & traveling–living life! The best times of our lives (husband & I now are 58 & 57) were raising our children.

But daughter has been married to a lawyer for 8 years & she decided to follow her dream of being a law prof after practicing for about 6 years & now is very happy & successful at that (They live in neighboring states as he made partner & she got a job offer at a law school in the closest state). Most weekends they spend together, but she has honestly evaluated their lifestyle & concluded that they would not be able to parent adequately.

Her husband wants to have children, but she knows that he would expect her to curtail her career & she doesn't think she could be an adequate law prof & mother.

She clerked for a Federal Judge for a year after law school & saw a brilliant judge who had 2 children who were parceled out to nannies, assisstants, etc. (husband was a busy lawyer) & my daughter didn't think she could do both career & parenthood to the best of her ability simultaneously.

She said I set the bar too high on being a mother! I respect her decision. I think she would be an excellent mother, but I also realize her strong drive to excell in all areas of her life would make her feel inadequate as a mother & always feel torn between career & motherhood (which is not a "hobby" to be taken up lightly).

So, still have a 30-year-old single son who may decide to marry &/or procreate!

But when we get together we have such good times & so many laughs! For my husband & me marriage & parenthood have been the highlights of our lives (oh yes, he has achieved greatly in his career–but coming home to me & having a beer & conversation is the highlight of his & my day).

We are very lucky, I realize.

Thanks to this blog as it has made my confusion clear.
I am going to be 26 in this Feb, still whenever someone use to talk about my marriage, I use to deny clearly taking career at my first priority. But this blog has helped me much.
Also its a good saying that though a girl have good career before marriage but after marriage its always a new start….
I guess now I must change my priority to get married first…
Thanks a lot… :)

I (for example) wanted to be married at 21 and have children by age 24. And yet I did not get married until I was 30. And why is that? Because I *wasn't* focused on that enough? No, I don't think so: it was because I didn't meet the one who was right for me until then.

SO, when an article comes along making it seem like it's somehow your fault, your lack of focus, that caused this, it's very irritating to those of us who know better.