Comments on: Cheating with a co-worker without getting undressed http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/04/19/cheating-with-a-co-worker-without-getting-undressed/ Advice at the intersection of work and life Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:28:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: some girl http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/04/19/cheating-with-a-co-worker-without-getting-undressed/#comment-95301 some girl Mon, 25 Jun 2007 20:56:38 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/04/19/cheating-with-a-co-worker-without-getting-undressed/#comment-95301 i'm afraid i totally disagree with this post. it comes across as quite ignorant, really. and why is oprah's in-house therapist an authority on this matter? so, married/committed people should not be starting enterprises and projects with a kindred spirit of their own sexual orientation. is that the conclusion to be drawn here? i started a band with a very attractive boy, and i'm married and quite attractive myself. we are driven by a common vision for the music. my husband is not a musician. does that mean that i am never to collaborate with another man on a music project, since music is the only passion i know apart from my husband? the real question to be asked here is, how strong is one's relationship with their spouse, and how open is the communication within the relationship. we cannot expect to have all our needs met by the person we are committed to, that's Relationships 101. i'm afraid i totally disagree with this post. it comes across as quite ignorant, really. and why is oprah's in-house therapist an authority on this matter?

so, married/committed people should not be starting enterprises and projects with a kindred spirit of their own sexual orientation. is that the conclusion to be drawn here?

i started a band with a very attractive boy, and i'm married and quite attractive myself. we are driven by a common vision for the music. my husband is not a musician. does that mean that i am never to collaborate with another man on a music project, since music is the only passion i know apart from my husband?

the real question to be asked here is, how strong is one's relationship with their spouse, and how open is the communication within the relationship. we cannot expect to have all our needs met by the person we are committed to, that's Relationships 101.

]]> By: Walt Stevens http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2006/04/19/cheating-with-a-co-worker-without-getting-undressed/#comment-84444 Walt Stevens Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:14:34 +0000 http://lolindrath.dyndns.org/lolindrath/wordpress/2006/04/19/cheating-with-a-co-worker-without-getting-undressed/#comment-84444 My married co-workers are having an affair of some sort. First it was just eating lunch together. Then it was leaving one car at a secret location and riding off into the country. Now business trips are being planned as get aways. Today after riding to a local restaurant together and sitting down for lunch several co-workers came in to observe the odd situation. As you said, "Spit swapping", might not be happening but if my wife saw me do that it would be over. What to do as a co-worker. * * * * * <em>This is not such an uncommon situation, I'm afraid. I have found that as people get more and more used to the affair they are having, they get more and more careless about keeping it discreet. As for the question what can you do, the answer is: Nothing. It's not really any of your business unless they are spending your budget money on hotel rooms at lunch time or they are not meeting deadlines that you manage at work. Otherwise, it's just that you don't like what they're doing, which is really your problem, not theirs.</em> <em>That said, I want to remind everyone that the world is not comfortable watching married people cheat on their spouses. We do not, as a society, enjoy watching dishonesty. So if you are going to do it, and you don't want to damage your career, keep it out of the public eye.</em> <em>-- Penelope</em> My married co-workers are having an affair of some sort. First it was just eating lunch together. Then it was leaving one car at a secret location and riding off into the country. Now business trips are being planned as get aways. Today after riding to a local restaurant together and sitting down for lunch several co-workers came in to observe the odd situation. As you said, "Spit swapping", might not be happening but if my wife saw me do that it would be over. What to do as a co-worker.

* * * * *

This is not such an uncommon situation, I'm afraid. I have found that as people get more and more used to the affair they are having, they get more and more careless about keeping it discreet. As for the question what can you do, the answer is: Nothing. It's not really any of your business unless they are spending your budget money on hotel rooms at lunch time or they are not meeting deadlines that you manage at work. Otherwise, it's just that you don't like what they're doing, which is really your problem, not theirs.

That said, I want to remind everyone that the world is not comfortable watching married people cheat on their spouses. We do not, as a society, enjoy watching dishonesty. So if you are going to do it, and you don't want to damage your career, keep it out of the public eye.

– Penelope

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