Comments on: Leverage sexual harassment

By: RisET (Riswan Efendy Tarigan Blogs) » Blog Archive » The Five Biggest Workplace Myths

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 00:33:14 +0000

[...] injustice of sexual harassment laws. So unless you're in physical danger, figure out how to make the best of a bad situation and move away from the harasser if [...]

By: Catherine

Catherine — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 04:39:11 +0000

This is obviously a topic which people feel strongly about. One angle which hasn't been explicity addressed is CHOICE. Penelope had the option to pick anc choose her response. Let us not forget that she only has that choice because generations of women before her have fought the hard fight and put the social principle ahead of their own comfort for the benefit of others. That's not to criticise Penelope, but to point out she would not be in her position if it weren't for those who came before. She could choose between staying, saying something, changing jobs, requesting a different department or fighting it in court. None of those options were available to 19th century women chaining themselves to railings.
Equally as important, Penelope is educated, experienced and in a well-paid professional position in a big company.
There are thousands of women in America and the world who still do not have the choices Penelope, and others like her, take for granted every day.
I'm not saying Penelope was right or wrong - just that we need to view her position as a privileged one, and that is was no accident she could choose as she did.

By: Ashanta

Ashanta — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:25:51 +0000

I am amazed that people are still commenting on this article. I first read it and commented on it June 17, 2007. This is a hot topic. It has been more than a year since I have read anything from the Brazen Careerist on Yahoo.com and her articles used to show up at least every few months.
I guess I am most disappointed that women continue to have to go through such things as Cheryl has, but more than that I wonder why we put up with so much and don't fight things sooner when we are stronger; before the weight of the problem has stripped us emoitonally, physically, and mentally.
Trust me, I am fully aware that psychologically these issues are hard to overcome. Your confidentiality was violated, probably not by your HR dept., but by the perpertrator himself. People distance themselves because they see that what is happening to you is wrong and they are afraid that they will be targeted next if they remain close or supportive, not necessarily because they agree with the status quo (although, that is too often true). These are hard situations to deal with, especially alone.
Discrimination happens on so many different levels, but only ends with being brought to the light. The idea that it is a man's world needs to change or that it's a "white" man's world. There is only one world, and we all have to live in it. When we see abuse happening it is too easy to stay quiet. Maybe someday we will each find the strength to fight it like so many do - and win.
Now that I am in Human Resources, much of the training I have gotten to do has focused on how employers have lost cases based on retaliation, emotional distress caused by reporting harassment. All of the things you have experienced at your company men and women have fought and won back and front pay.
It takes a little more strength to keep fighting for your rights, but I hope you find that strength before the statute of limitations runs out. I didn't, unfortunately, but had my personal life not been falling apart at the same time as my professional life - I would have.

By: A victim of Sexual Harrastment

A victim of Sexual Harrastment — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:08:45 +0000

Unfortunately, I would have to agree with Penelope. After changing jobs within the company I was with in an effort to move up in my career, I started being sexually harassed by my new Director (within the first 2 months of being in the job). And this was no mild harassment; it was “I want to have a baby with you” type of harassment. I tolerated it for about 6 months before going to HR to ask if I could be considered for other job opportunities, because I was no longer able to work the long hours the job required. I tried my best not to tell the truth about what was really going on, however for some reason HR then called me in to ask if my then boss had made any sexual advances towards me, at which point I was not going to lie. So I told the truth and that was the end of my career in that particular company. They let my Director go, and I was promised a transfer to a different department. Although they assured me that my claim was going to remain confidential, everybody found out I was the reason he was let go and I was never transferred into a different department. Not only was I not transferred to a different department, but I was assigned to report up to my ex-director’s good friend (who wanted nothing to do with me, and took it upon himself to inform some of the people I supported about the incident). People who I had a good professional relationship with started to distance themselves from me, and others would ask me point blank if I had something to do with what had happened. The embarrassment and the combined stress I was under with my demanding job, and this situation was so great that for the first time in my life I had to start taking prescription drugs to sleep and to help with my anxiety. After being on medication for 2 months I realized that things were never going to be the same for me anymore, and I was going to go nowhere within that company. I continued to search for jobs within the company and outside of the company with no luck. At that point I realized that I could not take it anymore, and resigned from my job. The best the company could offer me when I resigned was 1 month and 2 weeks of pay and no one took responsibility for the emotional and career damage I’ve endure. All of this just because I was honest, and utilized the rights I thought I had. I think it is very sad that women still in this time and age have to go through these situations. I also believe that those of us who have had to pay the high price for utilizing our rights need to come together and speak out to the public so that other women won’t have to go through this.

By: Cheryl Ahmed

Cheryl Ahmed — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 10:12:43 +0000

I think the harassing incidents in this article are very mild, and I would probably ignore them, too. The more serious types of harassment, such as humiliating, degrading, grabbing breasts, spreading vulgar rumors, making employment contingent on sexual favors, destroying someone's reputation, etc, are worthy of a fight, and the inevitable backlash.

By: Beth

Beth — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 22:15:07 +0000

I totally agree with you, Penelope. While a law student, I took numerous (every one my school offered) employment law classes and read countless cases, and I have seen how much complaining can backfire on someone (think co-worker and supervisor calling a racial group monkeys, and the person who complains about this gets fired).

As a woman who has been hit on and had inappropriate comments made to in the office by a supervisor more than once and in many different situations, I have learned to just ignore it. The best response to an idiot is silence.

By: CausticStorm

CausticStorm — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:53:57 +0000

Ethics or not, I see what you meant to do. Interesting angle, but I for one am not a person who would take it. Promotion or not, he would have either been fired or had his teeth knocked out.

By: Snusket

Snusket — Sat, 06 Oct 2007 04:19:24 +0000

Sounds to me as if the author has nothing to complain about? She got the job she wanted by letting guys play their game with her. By behaving that way she probably made a few of them believe that their advances might get them somewhere eventually. Hence the favorable reviews- maybe?

PS Did you know that a recent survey in Sweden showed that as many men have been harassed sexually as women? I would not be surprised if that was similar in most countries….

By: mazzi

mazzi — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 07:17:42 +0000

….. if your daughter got sexually harassed in high school, would you tell her to leverage it for an “A” in the class? Isn’t that just whoring herself out for completely selfish reasons?? It’s abhorrent to me that someone would advocate trading in dignity and basic human rights for a career boost……

well, Penelope's original topic has more to do with "navigating" than a "hand twist". When you "navigate", you *gracefully* find a way *around* the obstruction. You do Not necessarily look it in the eye and confront it… in fact if you do that then you're doing the exact opposite of what Penelope advises! Just read again Penelope's very first post at the top and you'll agree with me that it is "Navigating around" the obstruction and Not trying to engage in some "hard negotiation" or some BARGAINING sessions with the obstruction! The obstruction in this case is the harasser. So basically you Don't BARGAIN with the harasser… you Navigate around the harasser …you find a way to gracefully avoid him. That's what takes you to the Top …and beyond the harasser :-)

Now to comment sharply on your actual words as quoted/written above, how about if we said this below in contrast…??

If your daughter is being harassed at school, would you tell her to run court cases and miss her classes, stay absent from school and compromise a Full year of study for the sake of some pathetic harasser?? … if you do that, remember that she will probably Not score good marks in her exams or she may have to Repeat that whole year of study as a result of being absent from school (yes for a good cause 4sure) but she may have to explain/justify this gap later on in her career (job interviews, etc). Did you send your daughter to school "to study" or did you send her to become a Heroin & Messiah who carries the world's wicked problems and the school's Never ending flow of hooligans year after year upon her shoulders ???

By: mazzi

mazzi — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 07:13:36 +0000

>>>if your daughter got sexually harassed in high school, would you tell her to leverage it for an “A” in the class? Isn’t that just whoring herself out for completely selfish reasons?? It’s abhorrent to me that someone would advocate trading in dignity and basic human rights for a career boost.